What made you stop having feelings for the someone you were madly in love with?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Shesh... back then 12 something years ago... after ten years best friends and 4 years relationship, she just did cut me out of her life... she got a new boyfriend after 3 weeks

6 months later my mother died... not a single word came... mother had cancer and she as my girlfriend knew that I was the one caring for her...

Another 6 months went and she suddenly called and asked for a date... I was so confused... it was bit awkward but overall a nice date

But there was a pretty romantic scene at the end where I realized that I could kiss her but at the same moment remembered that she actual isn't out of the relationship with the guy who came after me a year prior... so I was a gentleman, hugged her and let her go

She called next day and asked why I didn't kiss her at that moment... oh boy, I did know how that would end... bc I didn't want her to tell why, I asked her why she would have wanted me to kiss her...
She started slightly crying and told me that her boyfriend is a nice guy, got a good payed job, big nice car and her father likes him... but that they got a miserable sexlife...
And there I realized it... she gives a fck about me or my feelings

I genuinely explained to her that after all she had decided a year prior and over the year itself does not lead her way into my bed, especially with that kind of approach...

Have seen and spoken with her once after that, like 10 years ago... I've heard her sexlife is still shitty...

I'll admit that the sexlife with her was the bomb, but damn girl, a pussy doesn't work as multipass... especially after that shit

exitseven · Accepted Answer

WE had a long distance relationship and she never really put much effort into the relationship. I went 1500 miles to go out to see her. When she picked me up at the airport she was wearing a hoodie covered with plaster dust, She had cut her hair into some weird perm and had it combed over. It was really strange looking. She told me that she almost forgot to pick me up at the airport. All of a sudden I realized that there was something wrong with this relationship. I just flew 1500 miles to see her and she almost forgot I was coming. I just did not see her the same way. I tried not to think about it but it just was not the same and a few months later I called her one Saturday night and broke up with her over the phone.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

We had a long distance relationship. Everything was perfect… until we met. He switched up when we met and seemed uninterested until I stopped showing interest. It was like we were playing games as if we hadn’t been dating for a year and a half. Things started going smoothly my last few days with him until he told me I needed to lose weight, get a better job, and finish school. He said he was gonna give me 4-5 months to fix all these things because that’s when he would fly out to see me. He said he wanted to be surprised when he got off that plane because I would have been thinner. Sad part is that he was bigger than me and he had seen my body many times on FaceTime, Snapchat, pics, videos. He had seen me shirtless from chest up. He was just too shallow and he had too many expectations of how he wanted me to be.

I tried to break up him on the last day over the rude stuff he said to me, but he panicked because he knew he’d never see me again. He hugged me, apologized, and didn’t let go until I stopped being upset. My mistake was falling for it. It’s been 4 months later and everytime we have a convo about the stuff he said he’s said even more shallow stuff so I’m done with him. We’re on a break rn and I plan on breaking up with him once it’s over.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

My first ex husband, years of physical abuse...
The last person I had sex with, while not madly in love with, or even in love with, stopped having any attraction to or respect for because they were constantly lying, to me about me, to other women, about other women... And I'm not usually the type to have sex with someone I'm in love with, but I let loneliness and missing my deceased spouse get the best of me, I definitely couldn't continue a sexual relationship with someone I couldn't trust/respect who didn't respect me

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

He showed his true colors and what type of person he really was- that and he refused to date me, yet wanted me to act like his girlfriend...

And I realized I deserved better. So I pulled away and never looked back. Did it hurt? Yeah. Was it for the best? Absolutely!

ManOnFire · Answer

I got to a point where I couldn't stand it that she would lie to my face and think I was really stupid enough to believe it. So she began projecting and trying to act like I was bad for not liking her bullshit. This really started to turn me off. Part of me of course wanted to stupidly hold on, but the other half won out and let go altogether, reaching a place where I had nothing but disgust for her.

Desconhecida · Answer

I don't know about "madly in love" but the last person that made me feel something before I find my fiance was someone who made my life better for some time.

I think miscommunication played a big part in what happened between us and the fact he gave up on us so fast made me feel very disappointed.

There's nothing worse than realizing the person you liked thought of you as someone easily replaceable.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

He said awful things about me to my face. Instant flip of a switch.

TruthBringer · Answer

Oh geez.. This was many years ago. Well, I found out that the person I was in love with didn't love me for me, but rather loved that I was filling a void within her. She thought she loved me, but in reality, she loved the attention and validation she was getting from me and no one else. Add other factors like lies, deception, toying with my feelings, her racist parents, gas lighting etc (so in short, a bunch of emotional abuse from her side). So I decided to prioritize myself for once and end it all. In reality, I fell in love with a persona of her that she wanted me to believe in, only for me to find out her true nature later down the line by her self-sabotaging behavior. Even though I was the one who initiated the break up, it took me a while to let go of the person I thought she was and to fully recover.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

The second and only boyfriend I've ever lived with, he is the exact reason I won't live with another guy until I get married.

He knew my history, my attack and rape and how it was recorded and put online. Came home one day and found him watching it, jacking off to it.

His entire excuse was, he had never seen a under age girl nude before... and that was that, broke my heart and we were done. Boyfriend into child porn was not for me, especially when it was me.

That was a fun breakup too, cause I reported him to the police to have him removed and tossed his crap out front.

Medicalbug · Answer

The hormones wore off and suddenly it was like the picture I'd painted was starting to crack and crumble and the horrible truth I'd been covering up was revealed. I'm a projector when it comes to men, I often just assume they will be good and don't critically look at them hard enough. I don't know how many times I've thought "oh, well now, he probably didn't mean it like that" when someone mildly disappointed me and then all of a sudden I'm faced with a major disappointment and have to dump them.

melanieeeB · Answer

No clue about the madly in love part, but like for me moving on is easier when I focus on the reality and not make up fake scenarios lol

For example I would keep in mind that yeah we had great moments and it was nice but it this didn't had a future cause he didn't loved me and he didn't wanted me (whats already reason enough) or whatever the reason was that this ended. Or like this could never work out cause we had different views or he didn't like this or that. And so on.
Also it does help to go out and talk to friends, family and strangers, keeping a journal is also helpful for me and just processing the feeling and facing letting go.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

She lied to me one time too many. I knew she was lying to me a buch before, but then she tried to tell me we couldn't be together anymore because her uncle had died. There's just one problem; her uncle hadn't died. In reality, she was going off to grad school (that I helped her get into) but didn't want to tell me that was why she didn't want to date anymore.

I told her I didn't want to be "just friends" with someone who treats me like that. She did not handle that information well.

TheorionMage · Answer

When you realize that despite occupying a physique that you'd KILL to be partnered to... that her early life experiences have conditioned her psyche to making self-destructive choices that you'll be spending a lifetime REPAIRING and she doesn't grow ANY wiser!

How often do you want to be witness to... and have your heart broken over... the SAME "shit show"? :'(

Ember7 · Answer

It was the disrespect and disregard for my emotions and words. We were having communication issues anyway but amongst being overtalked because my words "didn't have substance" or it was to "get it through my thick skull", along with telling me I should get over what I was feeling because it was stupid and name calling. That's emotional and verbal abuse, and I've seen it all my life growing up. I broke of my engagement and left with all my stuff before the week was out. I could never feel the same again. Those feelings died.

molonski2 · Answer

I think you fall is love with what you " wish " them to be , then reality bites , you find a few traits that you really despise , it all builds up to when , you just really dont like a massive percentage of them , then its a great release to actually GET OUTTA there.

Mandylynn · Answer

With my xhusband we were madly in love and inseparable until his drinking got out of control, starting using drugs again, and would physically hurt me before I finally decided I needed to get out no matter how much it hurt me making that choice and following through with it

Anonymous · Answer

She took the COVID shot, and her personality changed over night and I lost interest. The warm, soulful, loving energy that used to surround her is now gone... and with it also my feelings for her too. After all, she is no longer the same person. And if you think it's just me. I know several women that are in the process of leaving their partner after they became someone else after taking those shots... they are even moving out to a different house!

Alyssa_11 · Answer

He cheated on me. After he promised he would take care of me for the rest of our lives. He said he wanted to be my lover, my father and my brother all in one. Like he truly loved me in every way. Yet he still cheated on me throughout the entire relationship. I felt extremely betrayed and just like that I couldn’t love him like I did before.

Sublime45 · Answer

Unfortunately, I've been cheated on by my high-school sweetheart. Nothing hurt worse than knowing she was banging another guy and using me for my money. At the time I was young and foolish myself but if something could metaphorically make me feel like being stabbed with a blunt object in the heart, then that would probably be it for me.

Anonymous · Answer

When she showed me her true self,

she was selfish, back stabbing, and
a cheater

Everything i liked about her, went right out the window, And il never be able to look at her the same again.

Deep down, She had a twisted soul

Anonymous · Answer

I found out he lies about really stupid things. I trusted him so much, I just believed anything he said and I was always on his side, but now I wonder: "Why did he say that about that person?" "Why did he lie about x thing?" And the worst is that I never got an answer when I asked him why or told him I knew the truth about some of those things, he just brushed it off and continued acting normal.

SHB84 · Answer

Different reasons for different women.

1. Her fiance was always cutting in to our time.
2. I realized she was so damaged from her past relationships, that it was a lost cause.
3. The baby she gave birth to was her ex bfs.
4. She passed away, and it was completely avoidable.

All different women.

DiegoO · Answer

Year 2018. 1 year later after we brakeup (2017), and after flirting ocassionally for that long, she told me that a few months after our relation end, she started something with a guy and that now it was getting serious. Why not tell me from the start? That way I wouldn't even flirt with her. The one year lie really teared down the thought I had of her, been "honest". She's far from being honest. From their on the little romantic feeling I saved for her, dissapeared.

vduong1988 · Answer

I had feeling for my best friends long time ago I felt bad cause I didn’t tell him cause he is taken it’s so hard for me he told me he had feeling for me and he kiss me first also we had sex it just happened he really likes me, I’ve been really sad cause my depression

Julyus01 · Answer

Lying. I’ve been deceived a lot in my past so if the woman I’m in love with tends to lie a lot or isn’t completely honest with me I’ll have major trouble trusting her and make me question things I shouldn’t be questioning.

Anonymous · Answer

I briefly dated a woman and reunited with her 2 years later. I reached out but I said “I am not looking to pick up where I left off”. She took that as “oh so you are 100% okay with the friéndzone” and proceeded to take full advantage of me. I finally hit a breaking point, called her out on it and then blocked her out for good. Never looked back however for a time i did really like her.

Chlo3_2001 · Answer

I instantly lose any feelings for someone the moment they say anything homophobic or really misogynistic. I also lose any romantic interest at all if I find out they're anti-vax or anything like that. Personally, to me they are deal breakers.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

She was getting paid to string me along. And her profile was hooked to bots, in case she wasn't there. She may have been somewhat honest about her life, but was dishonest about her intentions with me.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I caught her having it away with my then best friend.. I was i my teens and it was the last time I was hurt in a relationship. Since then I have been very careful who I fell for

hahahmm · Answer

Too many lies, shady behavior, making me feel like I'm not important to her. It's funny how many women think that all they need are looks to keep a man. Nothing could be more wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

She became so codependent and admitted that she only liked me due to attention since no one else would give it to her. She projected all her problems as if they were mine. She eventually had me running to her place 2 times a month in order for me to talk her out of suicide. Sad and hurt to let her go but I had to for my own health.

MCheetah · Answer

For one, they didn't love me back. Or even respect me.

And for another girl, I found out they weren't actually attracted to men (bisexual), and was disgusted and heartbroken when I found out, and I dumped them.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

He told me he didn't want to date and that he probably never would want to date anyone. That broke my heart and it took me a long while to get over him.

He has been true to his word though. He hasn't dated anyone that I'm aware of.

NorthAfrican · Answer

When he stopped showing he cared for me romantically as much as he did before and started treating me more like a friend than a potential wife.

I just walked away and met someone new who is better for me.

loveslongnails · Answer

Maybe it was all an illusion to begin with and you never "loved" them in the first place, you just thought you did? When you really love someone, you don't stop. When you're "in love", that can change in a heartbeat.

DJB72 · Answer

Consistent and continuous behaviour that only broke down who I was. Started subtle and became more obvious over time.

If you don't like him the way he is, don't try to change him. All you do is push him away

Anonymous · Answer

when she kept cheating with numerous guys for 3 years and got engaged to a guy she only knew for 4 months when i proposed to her first. whatever trust i had with her went right out the window and things between me and her haven't been the same and may never be the same. i still get terrified just to even google search her name not knowing what the hell i may find

AdithyaR · Answer

My case wasn't romantic love but one of best friend who I clicked with greatly.
I lost all of it when I finally realised how toxic they were. Only saw it once another friend who got the same treatment from her told me and opened my eyes.

alex_897 · Answer

well we are in long distance and so im not really sure but im convinced he tells his friends about me and even came out and told me his friends also thinks im dumb and stupid i am. so him always calling me dumb , stupid and shouldn't be teaching and how much more intelligent and smarter they are then me.

NathanDavis · Answer

they never stopped... they just evolved into something else, we're good friends nowadays even great friends with some we used to love each other, now we love to see the other doing great

Anonymous · Answer

She had escape plan weeks before she leaves and before she leave she was trying to hurt me in every damn possible evil way though I had damn bad time. It wasn't in my hands but I just don't feel in love anymore. Saw her 7 months later karma got her ass she was sick and had severe depression I offered help but she was acting bitchy I blocked her

Sarahr123 · Answer

If you stop then you never loved them to begin with because I think love just happens once and when it does that’s the once and it never dies

DesiUwU · Answer

Stuff it down. Get rid of everything they’ve given you, avoid them, and stuff those feelings way down. If they were a bad person, I mean. It’s a process for me rn.

Finchie40 · Answer

She changed and her selfishness took the best of her and only really cared about herself , she was narcissistic and manipulative

sage2021 · Answer

When I found he was a liar and cheating on me while professing his love for me. He was a true womanizer!

Grania · Answer

We grew apart. As we grew older we just wanted other things in life. We didn’t stop loving but we knew this could not go on.

Dragonpurple · Answer

Found she had cheated on me since before we got married and during the entire marriage.

Katebfun · Answer

Cheating and being 2 faced. The relationship was a lie

Stephen_77 · Answer

You can't stop having feelings for someone you're in love with. You can't just switch feelings off like a switch.

Valso · Answer

I'm not sure. At first it was love for her, then at some point it turned into hate, then love again and eventually I felt nothing for her anymore. I think my love for her simply died one day, after 13 years of wandering between love and hate.

trulyanattentionhog · Answer

I became a Christian and tbh I don’t really know I started seeing things that I didn’t before and I just wasn’t happy

skyeee_ · Answer

i haven't really fallen for someone yet but i did have crushes. if the human interaction between me and my crush gotten pretty low, im eventually gonna forget and move on

Anonymous · Answer

They cheated on me, lied to me, used my family to cheat on me, took my son to the house of the guy she was cheating with gave me and std and was kicking the crap put of our son.

Anonymous · Answer

Loved him for 10 years and we’ve been through hell and back together but he got me pregnant and left me high and dry as I was going through a miscarriage

Staximus · Answer

I realized she didn't care as much about me as I did about her

Mary087 · Answer

When he treated me like shit and abused me in emotional ways.

LindsayLesling · Answer

Time and falling in love with someone else years later.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Seeing past the person I fell in love with and seeing her for the person she really was.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Disrespect/complete disregard for my safety or emotions.

PositiveNote · Answer

Time and distance. However, this also works: Distance and time.

Kroberts16 · Answer

Lack of attention and communication or realizing they're not who they pretended to be

Swordnen · Answer

Over the course of 7 Years I proposed her 100 times  she politely said no and after 7 years of friendship, she says she is committed to someone else.

Juliette1994 · Answer

My ex she was be lazy. She couldn’t keep job, stopped taken care of herself, hygiene , staying shape. While I’m working, given her money. Still dressing up. And she much older then I am.

What made you stop having feelings for the someone you were madly in love with?

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What made you stop having feelings for the someone you were madly in love with?

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