What made you stop having feelings for the someone you were madly in love with?

[Chikky]

[Anonymous]

We had a long distance relationship. Everything was perfect… until we met. He switched up when we met and seemed uninterested until I stopped showing interest. It was like we were playing games as if we hadn’t been dating for a year and a half. Things started going smoothly my last few days with him until he told me I needed to lose weight, get a better job, and finish school. He said he was gonna give me 4-5 months to fix all these things because that’s when he would fly out to see me. He said he wanted to be surprised when he got off that plane because I would have been thinner. Sad part is that he was bigger than me and he had seen my body many times on FaceTime, Snapchat, pics, videos. He had seen me shirtless from chest up. He was just too shallow and he had too many expectations of how he wanted me to be.


I tried to break up him on the last day over the rude stuff he said to me, but he panicked because he knew he’d never see me again. He hugged me, apologized, and didn’t let go until I stopped being upset. My mistake was falling for it. It’s been 4 months later and everytime we have a convo about the stuff he said he’s said even more shallow stuff so I’m done with him. We’re on a break rn and I plan on breaking up with him once it’s over.

[jillybeanns]

Whoa. Sounds like to me he’s trying to test and see if you have low self esteem and what he can and cannot get away with. I’d blocked that guy. And never speak to him ever again.

[Opinion Owner]

@jillybeanns interestingly enough, he told me I lack confidence. I think it’s him who has low self esteem and projected it onto me

[jillybeanns]

Yeah, it’s definitely a red flag. Please be careful.

[Opinion Owner]

I will, thanks girl 💜

[Anonymous]

Shesh... back then 12 something years ago... after ten years best friends and 4 years relationship, she just did cut me out of her life... she got a new boyfriend after 3 weeks

6 months later my mother died... not a single word came... mother had cancer and she as my girlfriend knew that I was the one caring for her...

Another 6 months went and she suddenly called and asked for a date... I was so confused... it was bit awkward but overall a nice date

But there was a pretty romantic scene at the end where I realized that I could kiss her but at the same moment remembered that she actual isn't out of the relationship with the guy who came after me a year prior... so I was a gentleman, hugged her and let her go

She called next day and asked why I didn't kiss her at that moment... oh boy, I did know how that would end... bc I didn't want her to tell why, I asked her why she would have wanted me to kiss her...
She started slightly crying and told me that her boyfriend is a nice guy, got a good payed job, big nice car and her father likes him... but that they got a miserable sexlife...
And there I realized it... she gives a fck about me or my feelings

I genuinely explained to her that after all she had decided a year prior and over the year itself does not lead her way into my bed, especially with that kind of approach...

Have seen and spoken with her once after that, like 10 years ago... I've heard her sexlife is still shitty...

I'll admit that the sexlife with her was the bomb, but damn girl, a pussy doesn't work as multipass... especially after that shit

[exitseven]

WE had a long distance relationship and she never really put much effort into the relationship. I went 1500 miles to go out to see her. When she picked me up at the airport she was wearing a hoodie covered with plaster dust, She had cut her hair into some weird perm and had it combed over. It was really strange looking. She told me that she almost forgot to pick me up at the airport. All of a sudden I realized that there was something wrong with this relationship. I just flew 1500 miles to see her and she almost forgot I was coming. I just did not see her the same way. I tried not to think about it but it just was not the same and a few months later I called her one Saturday night and broke up with her over the phone.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

My first ex husband, years of physical abuse...
The last person I had sex with, while not madly in love with, or even in love with, stopped having any attraction to or respect for because they were constantly lying, to me about me, to other women, about other women... And I'm not usually the type to have sex with someone I'm in love with, but I let loneliness and missing my deceased spouse get the best of me, I definitely couldn't continue a sexual relationship with someone I couldn't trust/respect who didn't respect me

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'm not in love with that meant to say 🤦🏼‍♀️ lol

[JoyGirl]

🤗🤗🤗

[Gramkabir]

Sorry to hear your story

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gramkabir thanks

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@JoyGirl 🤗🤗

[Gramkabir]

But every guy is as bad as you've met... There are plenty of good guys

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gramkabir oh I know, I don't judge all men by the actions of some..
My first husband (ex) was bad.. My second was a good man and we had two beautiful daughters and 20 years together before he passed... Had I judged all men as bad, wouldn't of had the second
.. Which is what I try to tell the guys on here who try to paint all women as bad

[Gramkabir]

Sorry I misunderstood... I guess you've an amazing and colorful life... And you'll enjoy more...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gramkabir not so much anymore

[Gramkabir]

Obviously... World is so big to have new things to enjoy... Can I DM you?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gramkabir I'm sorry because of past issues and harassment/stalking on this site, I don't dm on here

[Gramkabir]

Sure no problem... but don't lose hope... life is more colorful than we even think of...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Gramkabir thanks🤗..

[Cynicaldreamer]

He showed his true colors and what type of person he really was- that and he refused to date me, yet wanted me to act like his girlfriend...

And I realized I deserved better. So I pulled away and never looked back. Did it hurt? Yeah. Was it for the best? Absolutely!

[Nottooimportant]

Same

[ManOnFire]

@Cynicaldreamer "And I realized I deserved better. So I pulled away and never looked back. Did it hurt? Yeah. Was it for the best? Absolutely!"
- Very same experience, yes.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@ManOnFire Hurts doesn't it? Why it is some of us have worse experiences with dating and love than others?
If nothing else, said experience taught me a lot, but I get tired of going through said bad experiences!

[ManOnFire]

@Cynicaldreamer I truly believe it's because those of us who love the hardest and show the other person a lot of care and respect get shit on because the other person knows that and takes advantage of it. And in some sense because they know it, they can try to use it against us like it's a weakness.

[ManOnFire]

I got to a point where I couldn't stand it that she would lie to my face and think I was really stupid enough to believe it. So she began projecting and trying to act like I was bad for not liking her bullshit. This really started to turn me off. Part of me of course wanted to stupidly hold on, but the other half won out and let go altogether, reaching a place where I had nothing but disgust for her.

[Desconhecida]

I don't know about "madly in love" but the last person that made me feel something before I find my fiance was someone who made my life better for some time.

I think miscommunication played a big part in what happened between us and the fact he gave up on us so fast made me feel very disappointed.

There's nothing worse than realizing the person you liked thought of you as someone easily replaceable.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

He said awful things about me to my face. Instant flip of a switch.

[TruthBringer]

Oh geez.. This was many years ago. Well, I found out that the person I was in love with didn't love me for me, but rather loved that I was filling a void within her. She thought she loved me, but in reality, she loved the attention and validation she was getting from me and no one else. Add other factors like lies, deception, toying with my feelings, her racist parents, gas lighting etc (so in short, a bunch of emotional abuse from her side). So I decided to prioritize myself for once and end it all. In reality, I fell in love with a persona of her that she wanted me to believe in, only for me to find out her true nature later down the line by her self-sabotaging behavior. Even though I was the one who initiated the break up, it took me a while to let go of the person I thought she was and to fully recover.

[hahahmm]

Btdt. I think of it as women are like water and a man is the glass. The stronger we are the less messy things get. The same woman can act totally differently depending on the guy. Generally speaking.

[TruthBringer]

@hahahmm Indeed, it also depends on their mental state. Some people just aren't ready for a relationship. They confuse romantic love for the need for attention/validation. Not to forget to mention she has a mental health issue that she kept secret and I later came to find out. She just needs to work on herself before she drags others into her mess. I was simply unfortunate to get with her at a time she simply wasn't ready. Oh well, not my problem. Good riddance, especially since I am with a girl who does have her shit together.

[hahahmm]

@TruthBringer Totally. And I didn't mean that if a guy acts the right way he can fix her baggage... more like she would work harder to hide it but I think you know what I meant.

[TruthBringer]

@hahahmm Most definitely as what you've said is exactly what I've experienced. But like anything in life, nothing lasts forever. So at some point the mask will drop and she cannot keep on pretending.

[Aerissa_Jade]

The second and only boyfriend I've ever lived with, he is the exact reason I won't live with another guy until I get married.

He knew my history, my attack and rape and how it was recorded and put online. Came home one day and found him watching it, jacking off to it.

His entire excuse was, he had never seen a under age girl nude before... and that was that, broke my heart and we were done. Boyfriend into child porn was not for me, especially when it was me.

That was a fun breakup too, cause I reported him to the police to have him removed and tossed his crap out front.

[Neilbud]

Rough

[Medicalbug]

The hormones wore off and suddenly it was like the picture I'd painted was starting to crack and crumble and the horrible truth I'd been covering up was revealed. I'm a projector when it comes to men, I often just assume they will be good and don't critically look at them hard enough. I don't know how many times I've thought "oh, well now, he probably didn't mean it like that" when someone mildly disappointed me and then all of a sudden I'm faced with a major disappointment and have to dump them.

[melanieeeB]

No clue about the madly in love part, but like for me moving on is easier when I focus on the reality and not make up fake scenarios lol

For example I would keep in mind that yeah we had great moments and it was nice but it this didn't had a future cause he didn't loved me and he didn't wanted me (whats already reason enough) or whatever the reason was that this ended. Or like this could never work out cause we had different views or he didn't like this or that. And so on.
Also it does help to go out and talk to friends, family and strangers, keeping a journal is also helpful for me and just processing the feeling and facing letting go.

[FilmGuy93]

She lied to me one time too many. I knew she was lying to me a buch before, but then she tried to tell me we couldn't be together anymore because her uncle had died. There's just one problem; her uncle hadn't died. In reality, she was going off to grad school (that I helped her get into) but didn't want to tell me that was why she didn't want to date anymore.

I told her I didn't want to be "just friends" with someone who treats me like that. She did not handle that information well.

[TheorionMage]

When you realize that despite occupying a physique that you'd KILL to be partnered to... that her early life experiences have conditioned her psyche to making self-destructive choices that you'll be spending a lifetime REPAIRING and she doesn't grow ANY wiser!

How often do you want to be witness to... and have your heart broken over... the SAME "shit show"? :'(

[Ember7]

It was the disrespect and disregard for my emotions and words. We were having communication issues anyway but amongst being overtalked because my words "didn't have substance" or it was to "get it through my thick skull", along with telling me I should get over what I was feeling because it was stupid and name calling. That's emotional and verbal abuse, and I've seen it all my life growing up. I broke of my engagement and left with all my stuff before the week was out. I could never feel the same again. Those feelings died.

[molonski2]

I think you fall is love with what you " wish " them to be , then reality bites , you find a few traits that you really despise , it all builds up to when , you just really dont like a massive percentage of them , then its a great release to actually GET OUTTA there.

[Mandylynn]

With my xhusband we were madly in love and inseparable until his drinking got out of control, starting using drugs again, and would physically hurt me before I finally decided I needed to get out no matter how much it hurt me making that choice and following through with it

[Anonymous]

She took the COVID shot, and her personality changed over night and I lost interest. The warm, soulful, loving energy that used to surround her is now gone... and with it also my feelings for her too. After all, she is no longer the same person. And if you think it's just me. I know several women that are in the process of leaving their partner after they became someone else after taking those shots... they are even moving out to a different house!

[Alyssa_11]

He cheated on me. After he promised he would take care of me for the rest of our lives. He said he wanted to be my lover, my father and my brother all in one. Like he truly loved me in every way. Yet he still cheated on me throughout the entire relationship. I felt extremely betrayed and just like that I couldn’t love him like I did before.

[Sublime45]

Unfortunately, I've been cheated on by my high-school sweetheart. Nothing hurt worse than knowing she was banging another guy and using me for my money. At the time I was young and foolish myself but if something could metaphorically make me feel like being stabbed with a blunt object in the heart, then that would probably be it for me.

[Anonymous]

When she showed me her true self,

she was selfish, back stabbing, and
a cheater

Everything i liked about her, went right out the window, And il never be able to look at her the same again.

Deep down, She had a twisted soul

[Anonymous]

I found out he lies about really stupid things. I trusted him so much, I just believed anything he said and I was always on his side, but now I wonder: "Why did he say that about that person?" "Why did he lie about x thing?" And the worst is that I never got an answer when I asked him why or told him I knew the truth about some of those things, he just brushed it off and continued acting normal.

[SHB84]

Different reasons for different women.

1. Her fiance was always cutting in to our time.
2. I realized she was so damaged from her past relationships, that it was a lost cause.
3. The baby she gave birth to was her ex bfs.
4. She passed away, and it was completely avoidable.

All different women.

[DiegoO]

Year 2018. 1 year later after we brakeup (2017), and after flirting ocassionally for that long, she told me that a few months after our relation end, she started something with a guy and that now it was getting serious. Why not tell me from the start? That way I wouldn't even flirt with her. The one year lie really teared down the thought I had of her, been "honest". She's far from being honest. From their on the little romantic feeling I saved for her, dissapeared.