Can I ever forgive and forget and move foward?

[Anonymous]

I’m engaged and me and my fiancé have been together for a long time but recently he cheated on me with someone and we been trying to make it work but it’s not easy for me mentally I’m tired and I always feel like the bad guy when I bring it up it’s been two years and I try to forgive and forget but I always catch myself thinking about it and recently I just got the messages that they was texting back and fourth and I almost had a heart attack. We have a daughter so I want it to work but do I have to suffer or is it actually possible to move forward, im not sure. It hurts because the stuff he said wasn’t true about me I do any and everything for him he was my first. I try to be happy so my daughter doesn’t see me sad but I’m tired mentally

[Anonymous]

Forgive? It's possible.
Forget? Not unless you get whacked in the head and develop amnesia.

That said, your choices are to stay and try to work it out, or end it and move on.

Either way, you'll always carry that emotional scar despite all of his apologies and both of your attempts to right the ship.

Betrayal is a hard thing to overcome. Have you sought coupled counseling? Attending and understanding each other and the whys behind it, may help, nut you're never going to forget... and that's unfortunate.

Lastly, if it IS over, TRY not to let it influence your future relationships. That's hard too.

Moving forward isn't an option. It's what we all do everyday, despite our hardships. One foot in front of the other.

Good luck

[Asker]

We will attempt to do counseling and I hope that it goes well

[Opinion Owner]

I hope so for you, because single motherhood is a hard road to hoe. It's rewarding, but hard. You can do whatever you need to do, because YOU hold your power. #bootstrapped

Make whatever changes are necessary, even if it means doing it alone. That doesn't mean you have to though, as there's plenty of upstanding guys whilling to accept your children. They and/or another relationship are hard to see right now, but is possible. 👍🙂

[boggboss]

It requires u to forgive him there is a reason most people end up breaking up because truly forgiving and learning to trust again is super hard especially if it was a affair not just him sleeping with someone else if u can't get iver that u will never be happy in this relationship even with u having a child u will grow resentment and end up hating him and the situation

[Ember7]

So I have a rule in relationships for this reason: cheating means automatic dismissal. It sounds harsh but for me it's true. Some people can truly forgive their SO if they cheated. I am not one of those people and it doesn't sound like you are either if its still on your brain two years later.. For me if an SO cheats it shatters any amount of trust I had for that person and it can't be taken back. My mind would always wonder if they'd do it again, or whatever the case. That would cause doubts on my end even if they never did it again and I wouldn't want to drag someone through hell because I couldn't forgive them.

[Paris13]

You may NOT Forget but just Forgive. You may for a long Time be Wary and keep Wondering and have your Mind keep Wandering because you may Continue with Trust Issues. If you Both have a Daughter, Work it Out as a Couple or make Arrangements to Co parent. It won't Disappear for now... xx

[Paris13]

Thanks to Gag. xx

[Berethor]

Maybe, but it not going to be easy for you, and leaving him while you have a daughter is not going to be easy as well, you don't want to become a single mom, and it understandably.

[Asker]

It’s hard because I have no family and he is the closest but it’s also a excuse maybe I’m not sure

[Berethor]

It's not an easy situation.

[Asker]

No it’s not, it’s just taking a toll on me at this point I’ve been depressed for years and I can’t talk to anyone because of my anxiety but I know I need to make a decision

[Berethor]

You have an anxiety on top of that? anxiety about what?

[Asker]

My childhood was not the best I’ve had anxiety since I was young due to my mother beatings and her mood swings

[Berethor]

I see, it's really a messy situation.

[Asker]

Yeah it is he knows this so he takes advantage of it I told him it hurts that it took him 3 years to stay loyal to me

[Asker]

I feel like a broken person then I have to raise my daughter and I love that little girl more than anything but I don’t want her to see how he treats me, I want her to grow up knowing her worthy

[Berethor]

Yea it looks like he takes advantage of it, instead of helping you.

[Asker]

Yeah deep down I knew he was

[CoolGuy7532]

That's bad news if he is still talking to her. You should ask him to go to couples counseling. If he doesn't want to commit, you might need to leave him.

[Srij23]

On other note call his so call girlfriend and give her some of the babysitting duties... and get yourself some free time... and you three can go to couple councelling together. One thing I can definitely tell you is your boyfriend just wants a change from his so called boring life. He may cheat with other women also. So try something different.

[Naimgood]

Knowing what I know about you, it's a definite no. Trust me, I'm a random guy

[boobliker]

all thr time you are asking us to help NO forget then you can forgive

[rabbitzzz]

Only if your so realizes his mistakes.

[In_Trance]

You tell us...

[Asker]

I have no idea I want to but I been trying and it’s hard