Heterosexuals only: on a date when you are going somewhere together, how often does the female drive the vehice?

Question

Does the guy always do the driving? I don't insist on driving all the time, and if my partner wants to drive, I'm good with that. But none of them ever want to drive! What's your experience?

Brailey · Accepted Answer

It's because sometimes girls need to remind themselves that the man still cares about them so they ask hey can you drive?

SaoirseS · Accepted Answer

It depends on what we're doing and whose car we're driving mostly, but I'd say it works out about 50/50.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Good question, I don't think I've ever drove on a date, unless it was to meet the person there..
In both my relationships he/they drove most of the time, until my second husband couldn't drive that last year, so I drove for everything..

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

With my boyfriend, he almost always drives unless I offer, I know he’s tired, or wants to save gas.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

So GothicDesire is a Tide Pod zombie? Thanks for letting me know.

Anyway, in my history of dating, which is very brief, I think only one time the gal drove. I've been the driver every single other time.

2002: She was 16, and didn't have her license yet. I was 19. It was the high school prom. So I drove. She mostly ignored me at the prom, because her buddies from another school were there.

2006: Not really a date, but the girl needed a ride home badly. So obviously, I drove. Somewhat bonded with her on the walk to my car. But then, she later revealed she already had a boyfriend. I was visibly disappointed that she would keep that from me, and only admit it when I found his SNES - and she admitted it was his because she didn't play video games. But we parted ways cordially. I really hate being manipulated by two-timers!

2008: She may have driven once. I drove the following time. It didn't last long. She was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

2009: I drove one time. We walked the time after that. She needed the exercise. She was just enjoying the adventure. She was mostly oblivious that I'd fallen madly in love with her. Alas, she learned the truth just one year before she died. We reconciled in a very tender moment, while she was bedridden, sick, injured, and didn't have much hope.

That was ten years later, after we'd both gone our separate ways. Because she was terminally ill, and didn't want me tied down. I had other life obligations to tend to. But no matter how busy I got, I was determined never to forget her. Didn't think I'd get my golden chance to see her again; but I made sure to make it count when I did. Didn't realize until I saw her again how much I still loved her - and still do, even though she's been dead for a few years.

2014: I always drove. She was too dysfunctional to get her license. Suffice to say, the relationship didn't last long.

2017: She was in China. Neither of us drove. But I did help her company track down a thief in NYC. The relationship fell apart in 2020, due to incessant interference by the Chinese government. That, and she was under pressure from her family to date someone else. That resulted in an unplanned pregnancy, which she was too ashamed to admit to me. I found out anyway, because the woman that replaced her at her job told me everything. I forgave her; but realized it was over. I still love her, in spite of this. I'm more mad at the CCP. They destroyed my romance, out of spite. Control freak psychopaths!

Been trying to get a date since. But all I seem to meet are druggies, lesbians, and bots.

WellDone · Answer

In my relationship, my girlfriend lives little more outside the city, I live 10 minutes from city centre and she has little more driving experience. She drives to my house, I drive to hers, if we go somewhere with her friend I drive, If we go somewhere with her girl-friend and my guy-friend, my friend drives (he has bigger, faster car with 4x4), if we go to city together she always insists on her coming on her own, but it's also a reason why I don't like going out to the city so much and she is sad and feels like I never want to drive her if she is driving 2 times more than me in given week.

TrueConfection · Answer

I voted F, but we're somewhere between E and F. When we were dating and earlier in our marriage, he did all the driving. Fast forward 20 years and now I do all the driving unless we are dressed up and going on a formal date (then he drives, some times).

I prefer to be the passenger and when we first got together, his driving was one of his attributes. I could relax and he was in control. Now, I absolutely cannot stand his driving. It's no longer relaxing. It's like being in the car with a blind 90 year old behind the wheel. I don't know what happened. 💀

Guy13 · Answer

FWCKIN NEVER and best way to stop 🛑 that 💩:
-hold hand or arm walking back to car 🚗 (might be the only time you ever do that 🤔

-all Gentlemen open doors for their 👸🏻.
PROBLEM SOLVED ‼️

-unless you got one of “think they are a man, women”…
-that you drags your 🚼one-way to driver door and demands you open door, exam seat setting to make is set, and looks at you until you remember to seat belt her in.

-I would say at that point, walk around back of car but these days…🦇💩 crazy can go forward and backwards with damn yellow and red line back-up apparatus 🚗 👦 tomb 🪦
GOOD LUCK
🤞
🍀
🤞
🍀
🤞

Kaamraj · Answer

I come from a conservative country and culture where the man is supposed to have the car, plan for and pay for the date and be in control. Most women here don't even know how to drive. A man should always be in control. Don't drink so much that you're unable to drive safely, have a decent car, but keep it clean and well serviced so that you are able to go on dates and drop her home. If you do get too drunk, then the bar should arrange a taxi for both of you, or send a driver with you (charges paid by you), if you get into an accident during the date and can't drive, then book a taxi, letting the woman drive your car, or going on a date in her car is highly unusual here. In general also, it will undermine your masculinity and frame.

saturnianqueen · Answer

People have made it an expectation that the dude has to drive the car, because it shows that he’s taking the lead and taking care of the woman.

This is obviously not true but that’s a symbol of his dominance or whatever.

When I go on dates we tend to meet up somewhere instead of picking each other up.

England4eva · Answer

My ex boyfriend drove us everywhere. Not because I'm high maintenance but because I view this as masculine values and this is what I request. I did MANY lovely things for him, as I love to spoil people in my life. He however, HATED driving me and would complain which of course was highly embarrassing for me and uncomfortable. Most unattractive trait ever, and I got rid of him.

Bluemax · Answer

I would say it was about 75% me. I like to drive.

My work is about 10 minutes from home. But when I bought a convertible, I started to take an hour to get home because I *loved* driving it! When I toured the Desert Southwest one fall, I drove with the top down even when the temperatures were in the 40s!

Seinna · Answer

I can't drive so in my case a guy always drives but we take breaks and relax along the way :) If I had the driving license I'd be willing to take over sometimes... but it's just more romantic to me if he drives and my boyfriend has no problem with it.

SweetFyter · Answer

The "update" part is the best! Why are people SO triggered?

As for me, I have NEVER EVER been the driver on any date. That's a fact.

Oh, and although I love all bodies, my emotional attachments are for guys. Yeah...

musicbrain5 · Answer

In the beginning, it was always me driving or we took the subway/bus to our destination. When I started dating my husband, he didn’t have a car. Now, years later, it’s whoever feels like driving, I guess. I don’t keep track. We only have one car and it’s registered to me, but he is also listed on the insurance.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

If driving local or likely to park at some dodgy place, then she drives us in her car.

if it’s over 15 miles i drive in one of my cars.

She’s can drive my car (s) when I am with her, so we do that coming home if had a drink (usually I don’t).

Also if the weather is crap, snow, bad rain etc, we take the Golf as the R is the best thing going for bad weather.

OpenClose · Answer

I mean I did most of my dating before I got my first car. Half of it before I had my license. I got my license at like 22 or 23. So generally the girls did most of the driving.

But ever since I picked up my Model Y, there is no WAY I'm not using every opportunity to go for a drive. So yeah, I def do most of the driving now.

coconut94 · Answer

It’s been about 50/50 for me. I’ve noticed if it’s American white men, they don’t care and have asked me to drive. All the men I’ve dated that are either Hispanic or middle eastern have 100% of the time been the drivers and it didn’t even cross their mind to ask me or want me to drive.

Staximus · Answer

I was raised believing that you drive your girlfriend or wife around unless to you are too drunk or too tired, and a guy that makes his girl drive him around is not a gentleman. If she wants to drive, I don't really care unless she's a bad driver. I usually drive because most of the girls I have known in my life would rather not drive, and I like driving.

Citizenkirk · Answer

This issue never made my radar until reading this question. It's never been an issue for me. I don't expect it ever will be one.

douride2 · Answer

If it is my vehicle I drive. If it is his he drives. The only difference would be if one of us was drinking. Then the person who didn't drink would drive. I'm the one who doesn't drink.

Medicalbug · Answer

By default I drive because I always assume we are using my car. I don’t mind not driving in someone else’s car. But in mine it’s not a natural reaction tk let someone else drive it unless it’s a long road trip.

WonderBell99 · Answer

I can’t drive until after I turn 18. But since my boyfriend is 18, has a drivers license and knows how to drive, he’s the one who drives, unless of course, our parents offer us a ride

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Unless the woman insists or wants to drive, there’s silent agreement that the man, I, will usually be the one to drive us everywhere.

I’m fine with that, but I’m also totally fine with her driving a lot if that is what she wants.

NamerOfStars · Answer

It usually depends on which car we're taking, mine or hers; few women are anywhere near my height OR my size in general, and since adjustable car seats don't have presets (yet, at least), it's easier to just do it that way.

pixie215 · Answer

i have been on a few dates one where i knew him enough to let him pick me up, i liked it the whole guy role thing of picking you up and opening the door. normally i just meet the person at a public place

AviatorTom · Answer

My SO prefers us to go in her car, which she doesn't like me to drive (I do drive it occasionally), so she does most of the driving when we go out. Occasionally, we'll take my car, in which case I drive (she hates driving my car).

Apple1996 · Answer

I always drive unless I'm medically not allowed to. My hubby is a terrible driver so it was agreed along time ago that I just drive us everywhere

HighValue · Answer

It depends on who's car it is. I have always used my own car and I have always drove. I have never let anyone drive my car since I bought it new. But if I went on a date and the girl brought her car, she could drive it since it is hers.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Most my dates are meeting him somewhere, when we are close enough to share a car and go somewhere, it depends who's car it is. If it is mine, I drive, if it is his, he drives.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

In my current relationship, I'm the only driver so I have to drive unless we get a taxi. In previous relationships, I either didn't drive or we alternated.

DaveJord · Answer

I have had both ways... were she felt safer driving in her own vehicle. And then I have been with women who wanted me to drive all the time. I preferred driving myself.

Lliam · Answer

I'm like you, OlderAndWiser. I almost always drive. I prefer it. But if she wants to for some reason, that's fine. Or in the case of 'A', of course I'll have her drive.

Mangospacho · Answer

It depends on who the better driver is, honestly. Some people can’t drive well or have trouble with directions or get lost easily.

WhiteSteve · Answer

I’m not sure I’ve ever NOT driven, lmao. Or wait, once, we were going to a concert but she brought two friends from her hometown with her (thought my prospects were sunk when that happened, it was supposed to be a 1-on-1 date but it worked out fine, haha), and she ended up driving all of us in her car. Not sure how we arrived at it, but I was happy to start drinking early, lmao.

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

Lol @ women saying 50/50. Its at least 75/25 with every woman I've ever dated. This is one of the main reasons car insurance for men is higher than for women: men do most of the driving

Adam1978 · Answer

I usually don't involve a car in my dates so the question is irrelevant. I take public transportation so neither have to drive.

KatieB713 · Answer

My partner doesn't drive so I always drive In the case of my ex, he drove twice and that was twice too many so I did all the driving ever since

designer1 · Answer

I feel like with most it’s 50/50 but I actually hate driving period so with me he drives most of the time, especially bc he like driving.

DJB72 · Answer

I drive unless I'm incapacitated. Mainly because I'm a really bad passenger. After I lost my leg the family begged me to learn to drive with a prosthetic for everyone's sake

Wonderer89 · Answer

My husband usually drives… he gets a bit carsick in the passenger seat. I drive if he’s tired, we’ve driven a fair distance or he’s had a few drinks

Phoenix98 · Answer

I’ve never been on a date where the woman was driving. I’m overall impartial though I so long as you haven’t been drinking or aren’t a bad driver I don’t care if the woman drives.

2Wheels · Answer

I absolutely love driving, so I normally would ask if I can drive. Also, my car is way better on gas than his truck, so he never minded lol. 😆

Valso · Answer

Do we, bisexuals, count?

I don't have a drivers license (me and the clutch have difference in opinions on how things should happen, lol), so if the girl has a car and a license, she's always driving the car.

Massageman · Answer

I have always driven the car when I was dating.  If there were a reason that I couldn't drive, I would certainly let my date drive, though.  Not a sex thing, just plain logical.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Well I don't drive so if we need a car she'll drive, but most if the time we don't need to drive.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

In my relationship! 50/50. And we still do it when we are out, one drinks, the other drives.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Usually the owner of the car. I dont like driving so the guy

kmg9150 · Answer

I've always driven unless something stopped me from doing so.

MCheetah · Answer

I don't own a car, nor do I want one, so it's a non-issue for me.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

As i don't have a license (yet), the girl drives or i/we take public transport.

Juan_Sheet · Answer

For the first 14 years I did all the driving as my hadn't passed her test. 1 year ago she passed and now I let her take every opportunity to drive when we go out.

Alyssa_11 · Answer

I would prefer the guy to drive on dates because I want to be the cute girlfriend in the passenger seat lol. But I wouldn’t mind driving sometimes if need be.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

This doesn’t answer the question entirely but the owner of the vehicle is usually the driver. But if its communally shared between the two (like a married couple) I’d like to think its usually the guy driving (but not always) from my observation

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

The guy drives most of the time, but the girl drives sometimes

Avicenna · Answer

If it's her ride, she usually drives. If it's my ride, I drive.

Titanic1912 · Answer

I’d say it’s about 50/50. In my previous relationship, I always drove because my ex didn’t have a driver’s license.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It depends on if she drives at all. I don't have a license.

exitseven · Answer

I drive if we have to go out on the highway. I try to get my wife to drive locally.

Andres77 · Answer

NEVER!!! I seldom go anywhere and not be the guy driving.

Juliette1994 · Answer

My parents would switch. Though my my father mostly wouldn’t drive bridges the suspension bridges like Golden Gate , or Bay Bridge.

Jisuntamed · Answer

Stupid question. The car would be driven to whom it belongs. You only drive it when the owner offers you to drive.

Heterosexuals only: on a date when you are going somewhere together, how often does the female drive the vehice?

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