Do you prefer dating in the 80s or modern dating?

[Chikky]

[Cynicaldreamer]

PLEASE take me back to the 80s, 90s... any era other than what we're dealing with now!

Dating is so bad. I feel so bad for my nephews and the younger generation that does online or dating apps to meet people. I'm not saying dating was better back then, but it was easier. There was minimal to no technology so guess what? What you saw was what you got from your partner: no photoshopping, no catfishing, no social media nonsense.

You liked someone? You were forced to interact with them IN PERSON, be it ask for their phone number, pass them in note in class, or talk to them in public: scary I know! Nowadays we hide behind computers and phones to ask out someone we like and hope they say yes.

And just the overall entitlement of people when it comes to dating? Y'all going to have me on a soapbox this early in the morning.
Remember when people didn't expect sex on the first date- or even set a "timeframe" for sex in correlation to how many dates you went out with a person? If anything, after a few dates, you were more concerned if a guy was interested in you and ready to commit or not. Or when you would get your first kiss-
Sex wouldn't be brought up until you were in a committed relationship, or heaven forbid you wait until marriage! I know that's asking too much for some of you!

Maybe I'm just an old soul. Unfortunately, I didn't get to experience 80s dating... hell I barely experienced it during the 2000s when dating was slowly going downhill- call that a blessing or a curse.
And maybe I'm just romanticizing how dating -should- be. I do know dating as a whole is terrible and not as "fun" as people claim it should be.

[TwinkleLily5]

Well said

[Kaamraj]

From a male's prespective women also should not expect expensive dates, unilateral attention, and just being perfect. Because a man who is all that can expect sex on the first date also.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

@Cynicaldreamer i can show you 80s now but you don't talk to me lol😹

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Kaamraj You are very right sir; and guess what-
The ones that do are obviously NOT the right women for you, or just attention whores.

I'm not going to say some cliche line like, "Not all women are like that" because you're not going to believe me until you meet one that proves you otherwise. But just know that some of us are happy having a quiet night at home, eating a homemade meal our partner made for us, or even consider going on a walk through a park with our partners the ideal date.

Nor do all of us need constant attention, or feed off attention, only to barely acknowledge our partners and give him the same love and admiration.

But that's just my perspective; take from that what you will.

[Vegasrunner]

I doubt there's many people on here that were able to date in the 80's but in my opinion dating is way better now. For one if you are a guy that can get himself into the too 10 or 20% then your options are limitless. I can't speak for the 80's but I started dating around the mid to late 90's and the most difficult part back then was finding enough women in todays world w/ social media and dating apps there's a plethora of woman available. I dont believe a man should limit his options to those things however it does expand the pool.

[shaysh87]

@Vegasrunner

It’s easier to get access to both men and women nowadays but quality of the relationships have deteriorated

When options are limitless along with the dominance of whoring around, it really affects quality of relationships

[Vegasrunner]

@shaysh87 "quality" is a subjective word. What do you mean by quality of relationship?

[shaysh87]

@Vegasrunner

Because nowadays relationship don’t last. At the first sign of hardship , people flee. Rather than work on problems , they break up since it’s easier to get someone else than to work on things. Back then people were married for life. Nowadays , people break up every 5 years. No relationship or marriages last nowadays

People nowadays treat dates like it’s a one night stand. People look more forward to fucking on the first date than to get to know each other

If this is what you call better dating , you’re real fucked is in the head

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Dating in the 80's where you went on real actual dates... Where you talked on the phone so long, you didn't realize the hours that passed. Dating these days seems to be hook ups from the internet, texting versus actually talking, long distance/on line relationships where they haven't even met other than on video or texts...
In my time, you went on actual dates... You hung out in person and talked on the phone.. It was more about connecting with someone and how it felt just being around them than this who brings what to the table, who should pay for the first date crap people be going on about these days... I feel sorry for the men and women that get burned/played by people.. I think technology and the internet has made it too easy for people to cheat, have multiple relationships at once, even easier if they're in other states or countries... I'd take dating the way it used to be any day and maybe why I haven't been in a serious relationship since my husband passed 8 years ago.. I don't fit into today's dating, if you can even still call it that..

[zeitgeist057]

Same feelings here, online/text/distance/etc it's all so UN-intimate and shallow. I much prefer the previous decade, but too young to know 80s dating.

The historical downside I imagine being for women the rape culture which is still alive today, but there is greater awareness and hopefully it's on the decline.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@zeitgeist057 good points

[TheAfrikan]

You ate realky strong and straight on to thos point my girl @Brainsbeforebeauty you have my mho on this topic lol. Thanks for the wisdom

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TheAfrikan aww thank you😊🤗

[TheAfrikan]

@Brainsbeforebeauty you are welcome dear 😉

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for mh

[MrtoddsWildRide]

I guess I have a pretty good perspective on this. I started dating in the 1980s and got divorced 3 years ago so have done both.
I preferred the 1980s when you actually met a person before the first date and got to know them and asked then them out. It's pretty much online now.
So much communication is non-verbal and a bigger part is tone and inflection that doesn't come across in the initial messages.
Admittedly, I didn't grow up with text and so it's like a second language to me rather than a first language. Talking to me online is very different than talking to me in person.
And while I am not opposed to casual sex, kinda like it actually, I do miss the third date rule. I had one woman I dated comment to a mutual friend. "His outfit looked good for the two whole minutes before I got him out of it" This was a blind date. I went to pick her up at her place and I'm not even sure it was two minutes before she was pulling down my pants. That might not be typical, but now it's pretty much always going to happen on a first date and she initiates it with me. I haven't had a second date, because I don't want a relationship with a woman that moves that fast. Unfortunately, that seems to be all of them now.
On another note I am not sure where you got that picture, but that is the 1950s. Dating in the 1980's looked way different.

[OlderAndWiser]

That photo is 1950's, not 1980's.

Actually, I am more confident and assertive now than when I was younger, so I am fine with the present. And online dating is easier and much more productive for me.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Vivaldi]

More like 40s to me

[Priv9696]

People just want sex online dating tho?

[OlderAndWiser]

@Priv9696 Maybe if you are using Tinder, that is true. There are many women looking for a serious relationship on sites like Bumble, zoosk, and even POF.

[Priv9696]

People show an interest and then ghost for the silliest reasons

[Genie23]

If I could, I would choose to born in the 1950s or 1960s, many guys were so chivalrous and this friends with benefits concept didn't exist back then. People were more looking for a serious relationship than have casual ones.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Chivalrous in the begining and of you were not from high society you literally had not that much rights

And there was not concept of dating mostly aranged marriages

Not much women were allowed to work.

Be careful what you wish for

[Genie23]

I disagree. My mum and Papa were young back then. My mum was treated with respect and didn't get approached for hookup. She did not feel like an object.. Nobody in my family ever had arrange marriages (Not even my great grandparents) and had opportunity to study
So, I kinda know what I'm wishing for.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

You are from rich family aren't you?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Thank you for responding 😊

[Screamsgutter]

@Aakash_Hangargi What country are you from? Not gonna find too many arranged marriages in the US even in the '80s. Rights were basically the same as they are today except abortion definitely wasn't as hot a topic. Women were still commonly housewives, but more worked than the previous decade, especially if the kids were older and could be home alone.

What weren't issues then, but are the talk of the times today:
- Consent (no one asked for consent, you just played it by ear. Girls were way more down-to-earth and way less hypersensitive, so yeah, dating was much better. Their victim cards stayed in their pockets so much more and fighting guys wasn't a thing. The gender war wasn't a thing, or I don't remember it. I think girls/women today are groomed by society [or their Gender Studies professors] to be almost bi-polar - one minute they're fragile porcelain dolls and the next strong, independent women. "I can do anything a man can do, but I can't be touched like a man is touched". Where's your royal consent voucher? It's now required by law to breathe within three feet of me. It's all a bunch of bull and advantage has been taken by this whole consent overload and regret-rape ridiculousness. Dreamed up to make boys and men go nuts and hate your guts.

[Screamsgutter]

- Sexual harassment (other than a yearly one-hour seminar in high school, never heard much about it in school or at work. Can't get my mail without someone complaining about every dumb thing under the sun. Can't it ever be just harassment?)
- False accusations (while many claim these are rare today, claiming the same rarity back then is a much truer statement)
- Cyberbullying (cyber - nope... internet was about ten minutes old with no social media. Bullying - sure, either you put up with it or you did something to change it, and I don't mean by passing laws. Change your image/look, join a gym, trash the bullies... whatever. Going with the first two examples made the third work itself out naturally, and by my junior year it all but disappeared).
- Porn on demand (only if you had a demanding VCR and video store membership or your uncles' old Playboy collection).

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Agree with your last stanza , but even in western countries 80's was divided in two parts one the fully wild and ones the sophisticated or the upper middle class stuck between both.

There was a gender bias i wonder the power was almost one-sided and that sums up for brutality of men in general.

Husband was the head of the family. Dating was all good but only in marriages issues were there women were treated as less so now there is shift in power women have the upper hand.

The generation of today things they are very clear minded but they are the most confused

[Cjbruser]

There are still chivalrous, determined and driven men out there. You just need to keep looking and separate the walking insecurity complexes known as "bad boys" whoi just want to use you, from the good decent men.

For example, I work in the medical field as Reprocessing technician, I practice a lot of authentic shaolin martial arts, I enjoy practicing and playing keyboard and rhythm guitar, I own crypto stock and other assets, I have no debt. I am not hurting for hobbies or financial stability.
You just need to find a someone who enjoys doing things and is driven.

[Vegasrunner]

The times have changed. In that era guys were chivalrous because the women were more traditional. In todays era women are a lot more entiled and have a lot more opportunities so being chivalrous is essentially like helping your competition. On some level chivalry still exists but it's not effective so men have been forced to change w/ the times.

[shaysh87]

@Genie23

I don’t think you understand what times were like back in the 1950s. In the 1950s , many women were forced to get married when they couldn’t find a job to make a living. Back then Women we’re not encouraged to get an education so if they remained unmarried they would typically have a very difficult life struggling to support themselves. Women were expected to get married very young and to keep the home clean. A woman’s worth was completely based on how clean her home was. Women were less likely to divorce their husbands back then too. Because they knows they can’t survive on her own. Wife beating, cheating , womanizing was extremely common back then

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I don't want to date at all, but I think it would be interesting to see what the dating scene of the '80s was like compared to today. I feel as though people are much less social than the pre-social media and pre-COVID eras, and it seems people had to meet more organically, which would be my preference if I did want to date.

On a side note, it's interesting that G@G chose a '50s picture for this question. 🤣

[Allie2468]

I wasn’t alive in the 80’s, but i like different things about both times... in the 80’s there was more face to face interaction and like previous comments, people didn’t just want to hook up and then leave. Sure it still happened, but it wasn’t as common.
The only things I like about modern dating is that I can use my cell phone to call or text my boyfriend if I needed to contact him for whatever reason, and with all the social media out there, it makes it easier to meet people from much different backgrounds than your own- or are from places you’ve never been to.

Other than that, I like the thought of the dynamic of dating in the 80’s more. Guys actually had to make an effort to date (picking the girl up from her house) and her dad would know who she was with, and when they’d be back.
Personally, I believe in waiting to have sexual relations until after marriage. If you are physically intimate before marriage, arguably there is nothing holding the guy from helping to raise the kid (outside of child support) or be a father figure in their lives.

[Guido]

I think it was better in the 80's. People didn't have phones so there was always real communication face to face. If somebody didn't want to talk to you they to you straight out and there was no option to ghost somebody. You found out about people by talking to them and not doing searches of social media. Dates were spent getting to know the person and not meeting and hooking up straight away. Rather then see pictures or video chat of somebody, you saw how they behaved and acted as well as what they looked like. There was still lots of rejection but they told you straight up. Either they were not interested or they already had a boyfriend. When you asked a date a question, you got an answer right away instead of in today's world where they have time to think about what response you want to hear and then text the reply. I think there was more honesty in the responses.
You didn't date from your comfy chair at home chatting with multiple people. You physically got together and did activities. Things like a walk in the park, skating, dinner, or dancing.
Everything was different compared to today and I preferred it a lot more.

[TheAfrikan]

⚫I would prefer dating in the 80's now days there is no actual real love since people are after some material things and a certain socialist class. The dating of our regime for us guys is now based on the size of boobs or ass she has got as well as the sweet angelic face. We mostly do not date a person who makes us feel ourselves and be proud of being with them due to there personalities.
And it is the sweet personality which lasts on long than the looks which fade with time and those peak like boobs which can become saggy. @Chikky

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well said yourself💯

[TheAfrikan]

@Brainsbeforebeauty thanks a lot dear

[Cjbruser]

It made more sense in the 80's.
There was no social media, there was no mainstream Internet yet, there was no mentally unhealthy sites like Twitter or TikTok et cetera.
I would have had more luck, happiness and fulfillment if I had been born during the lat 70's or early 80's as opposed to now. Social media, dating apps, hookup culture and corrupt, socialist/fiscally motivated colleges and universities have ruined relationships, pair bonding, and financial stability. The 2008 financial crisis, housing bubble and everything that came after it including the SARS 2 C0v-19 scare/scam with the subsequent irresponsible Lockdowns has made it near impossible to be economically well off.

[Realworldanalysis]

You would be an old man with CKD if you were born in the 70's

[Cjbruser]

@Realworldanalysis I don't have any real problems with my kidneys man. I know how to exercise them.

[Realworldanalysis]

read again

[hi_it_is_me123]

You can still date people from this era if you want. I am scared that modern women get trashtalked for not obeying their husbands and being ok with being a cuck like my mother's generation Nothing is wrong with not needing a man. In this time women need men for financial security etc which is not love in my opinion. I dont need a man but i fucking want a modern man because men are hot lol (-i dont understand how men can be attracted to women although knowing that greek gods like shawn mendes, johny depp etc exist lol-) and I want spoil my potential husband lol.

[hi_it_is_me123]

I also dont understand why so many people hate social media platforms. Internet can help you to stay away from sociapaths. Thanks to internet you can 'stalk' the people before meeting them so you dont be in trouple

[hi_it_is_me123]

Sexual harrassment at work was normal or cat calling and other ways of social harrassment was normal. Men in the past was not chivalrous. Look at the fucking popular hollywood movies where the hero rapes the villain just because they are bad or harrasing women. Research what marilyn monroe experienced

I even know western women from this time saying that harrassment meaned that a guy is showing his interest in this time
Whoever complain about western modern men can fuck off to Asian/middleeastern countries. You won't die when you make the first move or pay the date. Modern men are chivalrous/nice. It is ok to prefere traditional men but just because many men ain't traditional, dont pay your shit/food, dont open a door etc, it does not mean he ain't chivalrous. I have seen a lot western men who are rejected/get left just because he is clingy, soft, too nice etc-just wtf. So there are even girls who reject guys just because he does not want to choke her :) there are also a problem with virgin shaming guys.

[TwinkleLily5]

I never dated in the 80s but I would love to hear from people who did and are dating now and how different it is for them. Technology ruined dating. Back then I’m sure it was simpler. Social media and dating apps make people feel they have tons of options and are pursuing and wasting time on people out of their league. It’s so bad me and my ex just prefer to keep dating each other because there’s not much out there.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. You guys should date each other because you like each other. Not just as a default. That sounds so unromantic lmao.

[Likes2drive]

It was a lot different that’s for sure and better than now , it’s so tough now after being divorced

[TwinkleLily5]

@Jamie05rhs we like each other enough and prefer to start over and try again instead of constantly wasting time on dates with people we barely have chemistry with. We’re still single just dating each other again. people do change.

[TwinkleLily5]

@Likes2drive can you elaborate, I seriously want to know how dating was in the 80s compared to now.

[Likes2drive]

No internet or cell phones, would just meet in person in clubs sometimes or out cruising on the strip , I actually met some women on the CB radio

[Jamie05rhs]

@TwinkleLily5 That's fair.

[HighlyVolatile]

Your pic is the 50s or so, no? Maybe the site assigned it. 80s date in my imagination is like drive-in movie theaters, rollerskating rinks, bars with neon lights and people in the wackiest and flashiest clothes, etc.

I think I'd go with modern though if I were single. I know this culture. The 80s is nostalgia to me; I only experienced it as a boy.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Honey that pic is totally inaccurate. That was dating in the Fifties not the Eighties. They defo had color film by the Eighties 😊.

To answer the question, I wasn’t old enough (or even for the most part alive enough) to know what dating in the Eighties was like, so by default I pick today. I do wish people would ask each other out in person rather than rely on dating apps though.

[Kaneki05]

There is shit tons of complications of dating in the past. Just as there is still tons of complications today. To go back and say it's better? That would be a lie.
Just shifting one problem for another. Since today and then have different way's of complications that come up in different ways.

[Blonde401]

I prefer meeting someone naturally. I don’t know if I have chemistry or like someone unless they’re standing in front of me and we’ve been talking for hours. I don’t use online dating websites and I don’t think I ever will again because they’re just awful. If that means I’ll be single forever then so be it.

[genericname85]

i would prefer modern dating, if women wouldn't expect some impossibly contradictory mixture of traditional and modern rules. like he's supposed to pay. but he's still supposed to be equal and not supposed to feel like a provider or else he's a male white patriarch... wtf.

[Dchrls78104]

Give me dating like in the 80s, if anything. Modern "dating" reminds me of why you shouldn't look for a vehicle in a junkyard: Either somebody already owns it, or someone has given up on it.

[Anonymous]

Modern since I like the option of online dating. I tried a period where online dating was not very big and I was only asked out once and else men around me just wanted to have sex if anything. Easier to find someone like minded online, even though I have to go through a lot of men that are not for me.

[Anonymous]

Something I would’ve love to experience was living in the 80s times and dating. But I was born in 98 so that’s just my luck :/ I bet it was a lot better compared to today when people don’t make the effort much anymore and decide to ghost you after one minor thing or find out their talking to like 5 other girls besides you..

[Anonymous]

80s because people couldn't text each other all day so there was less drama... Both men and women were more respectful and educated... It was more romantic and less toxic... It wasn't a game at that time, they were dating to get married not to play some games

[Jay3344]

What comes to mind for me is the AIDs epidemic. I was too young to know about dating then and was merely the product of it. From stories I’ve heard though it was pretty wild. Now it’s more convenient but strange to me. It’s more impersonal in a way because of online dating. It makes me feel like I’m window shopping.

[Iron_Man]

I think old school is more special everything is always better in the past better made products everything is cheap now and all the food is cut back every time you go to the grocery store you get half size products the past is always better besides the new cell phone technology

[exitseven]

I dated in the 80s and I think it was better than today. From what I read on this site it is a real horror show today.