I’ve always thought as myself as ugly what can I do to help me change my mentality?

[Unknownpleasures93]

I used to get picked on by girls in school a lot and guys would make fun of me as well. That definitely messed up my self confidence. Also, I’m really introverted so I don’t like to interact with strangers. Any advice on how to change my mentality would help. I know it’s wrong to think less of myself, but years of negative experiences really traumatized me.

[HighlyVolatile]

I think you just need to overcome any fear or dislike of interacting with strangers. You'll meet some nasty ones here and there but that's also part of the mental training is to see that as no big deal. Happens to everyone who makes an effort to socialize.

Yet you should also be rewarded with your efforts with some extremely kind people, and if you make an active effort, might even find yourself in the most engaging of conversations with a girl who seems interested in you. That's your cue to ask her out.

But beyond dates, building up a healthy social life can help you become far more comfortable with yourself, and you can be having a blast with the new friends you make. Every stranger is a potential friend as I've always seen it.

[HighlyVolatile]

Every stranger is also a potential enemy in fairness, but that's the risk of forming the deepest relationships. You have to be willing to gamble in order to win. Yet it's not even gambling much if you can start to look at things in a way where you don't take every social rejection or any other form of unpleasant interaction very personally. And I think you only need to form even the first lifelong friend who you're so excited to spend time with to start seeing that the gamble was always worth it.

[Unknownpleasures93]

Thank you for the advice. I will put what you said into practice 🙏

[HighlyVolatile]

Hope it works out for you! Remember if you have an unpleasant interaction that it happens to everybody. The sun still rises the next day and it's not the end of the world. Endless opportunities await to find someone really great the next time, perhaps even the love of your life. And practicing this will tend to improve relationships in general, like with colleagues at work. It can improve your entire life and far beyond dating. So practice! Practice a lot! Practice makes perfect, and I think at some point you'll start to reflect on your insecurities and find it all very silly at some point.

[DaveJord]

I would start out by wearing clothes that properly fit me and are little more classy. And mirror photos are the worst... your not even looking in the mirror your eyes are basically closed. They look like they are shut my man... women are not going to dig that?

Women want more than guy that can really fill out a shirt that too tight, with their beef cake chest and shoulders. They like confident men that make them feel self confident to. So any man or women that exhibits any degree of insecurity will always find dating difficult... because men and women with similar insecurity issues only escalate the each others anxiety about themselves.

[Nagahime]

You're not ugly, bro. Surround yourself with more positive people and train yourself to replace every negative thought with something positive.

[aanastasia233]

Tell yourself you are not ugly. Some women might like you but you cannot expect every woman to like you.

[Kenzy009]

Don't change your mentality. If you give yourself false confidence people will think you don't know your place. If you are ugly you need to think OK, what can I do about it? and then try to make up for it with other qualities. Your body and face looks fine to me, the only thing I see the needs work is your hair

[Citizenkirk]

Stop putting yourself down. People that picked on you saw you had low self esteem. Stop doing that too yourself

[exitseven]

Start hanging out with girls. Make some female friends. They will tell you that you are a good looking guy.

[anylolone]

Why should anyone else help you with that?
It's what you think, I can't get into your brain and change that.

[zagor]

You look pretty standard. Nothing to hide away about.

[Iron_Man]

Ask the girls and see what they say