Is this “I’m not ready for a relationship” actually legitimate?

[Anonymous]

Went on a few dates with a girl. I noticed a decline in interest after the third date so we both decided to be friends for now.

She had recently gotten out of a bad relationship, and said that she was still experiencing weird feelings about it and didn’t want to lead me on. She also clarified that she still likes me, she’s just not mentally prepared for a relationship with me yet. She’s also not seeing anyone else.

Now, I’m sure we’ve all heard this before. I’m just wondering if THIS time it’s actually legitimate and she does genuinely have interest in me but she just can’t dedicate to commitment right now.

It’s of note that she told me that she doesn’t like me talking about other women with her because it makes her uncomfortable. Usually people who I’m friends with of the opposite gender I am completely fine with them talking about their boy struggles.

I don’t know, guys. I really do like her but I’m not sure if I should even bother or I should just move on and drop her completely. At some point I would like a relationship with her. What’s the move?

Updates

+1 y

Should mention yes I am completely fine to be her platonic friend as well. We were friends for a couple months before dating and it was actually my suggestion that we become friends when we stopped seeing each other romantically.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay yo bro, sounds like a tricky situation. A few thoughts:

- Her saying she's not ready is legit, breaking up messes with your head space sometimes for sure. Don't wanna force it.

- Her being bothered about you talking other girls shows she still has feelz for you too dawg. That's a plus sign I'd say.

- Being just friends for now could work, let her heal up while you're still round to show you care without pressuring her. Build that trust back up.

- But don't hang forever if you get tired of waiting homie. Few months max I'd say to see if she starts wanting more again when she's right in the head.

- In the meantime keep it chill, don't cut her off but don't just sit around hoping either - stay busy with the squad too feel me?

If you really dig her I'd say play the patience game for a bit, but put a deadline on it. See how she's doing in a couple months and see if she trying to take it further again. You feel me bro? She seems keen so might work out, you just gotta play it cool!

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't on a date if she isn't ready for a relationship. If she let you pay for the date she prob played you.

[Asker]

Nah she insisted on paying a couple times and I let her.

[TycheKairos]

After a girl gets out of a bad relationship, she may not be able to pick herself up right away. To recover, it is sometimes necessary to stand normally and do warm-up laps. That's what you've come across. With a girl you see as a partner, you don't talk about other girls, by the way. You will either remain friends or be partners, and if the two are together, it is useful to pay attention to the blood pressure.

What is movement? You'll smell the air. You will either wait for him or have conversations with others. Without using others. You will know this,

Sometimes it's a test, when you wait for it, you win at the end of the road. Sometimes he finds in someone else what he can't see in you, and he's a farrier

So there is a right time for everyone. Figure out if the time is right and move on accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Basically you’re asking if this is going to pay off for you this time and there’s no way to know that, dude. If you’re presenting yourself as a friend right now then i hope it’s genuine, because if she’s still trying to get over her ex, there’s no time stamp on how long that’ll take.

[Asker]

Funny thing is I’m actually perfectly fine to be her friend. We both started as friends, that’s how we started dating.

[Asker]

It was also my suggestion to be friends.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, and that’s good for sure! I’m basically saying there’s not really a time frame for when she will be ready, so you have to decide if it’s worth waiting for. It may be better to just see this as a friendship until she’s initiating more.

[Nikki1989]

Sometimes it can be, but more often or not it is just an excuse people use to avoid making any kind of commitment or effort towards a relationship.