What turns you off when you've just started texting with someone?

Question

Today some dude texted me on insta and asked me out for dinner after work.
I wanted to say yes but I was just really tired, I couldn't sleep last night. So I told him just that and that I just want to go home.

I went home, took a nap, cooked etc and now I checked my insta (my notifications are off) and Ughh I hate does desperate texts like so you gonna just leave me eat alone? Why are you not answering? Are you even still alive? etc... It's just so damn unattractive!

When I see stuff like that or someone who replies always immediately and seems to be on the phone all the time, or someone who is directly sexual.. I immediately turn them down and stop the contact and conversation. It's awful to me.

Aakash_Hangargi · Accepted Answer

Lol why do you not thing guys won't have feelings , lol he was excited for the date that's all.

If it was the reverse in his shoes you would still say i don't like guys who would not respond immediately to my every message.

I could never understand how some women could be such hypocrites.

Lol these are the same people who are calling guys as desperate would cry about of they were in there shoes and justify themselves with dignity.

Well men are also not robots they can asks questions what would had have happened if you later responded in one text or just said not in the mood today will plan someother time.

By this response you could assure him as well that you are intrested .

Men are not mind readers when will ladies understand this 😌

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

I hear 👂 ya and there is nothing more ugly than Self-me, myself, and I NEEDS right from the beginning. How can one of that sort take care/manage another’s heart… Obviously, they can’t manage themselves.—-My friends (guys now) are as bad. If they aren’t whining like a woman then they are speaking as if in guys Futbol lockeroom to a woman 🤷🏻‍♂️.
-You obviously have lots of confused men in both “East” and “Western” parts too. We do here as well with all the feminization and loss of gentlemen training.
-“more buzzing 🐝 with honey 🍯 than when spouting vinegar gets blank stairs.
🤷🏻‍♂️

Apulu_3 · Accepted Answer

When the things are directed to sexual convos. Some girl on here even texted me asking about masturbation and all. I just block the person when they talk about sexual things when I clearly say I'm uncomfortable. And frequent texts too when we both know that we have got nothing to talk about. It's difficult to hold up a conversation that way. I also don't like when people randomly text me and when I ask them what do they want to say then they don't really have a topic to converse on. I find it annoying because I don't really have an idea on how to start conversations with people I don't know properly. I like it when a person talks about appropriate topic and doesn't leaves on me that job of starting the conversation because I'm bad in it incase I don't know the person.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Accepted Answer

Oh yeah, I can't stand that either and was actually going to list that as one of the things that turn me off during texting a person. Since in addition to what you shared, for me it rings a red flag in my head that the person is clingy and... I have yet to be proven wrong.

Another one for me is the whole texting a simple, "hey" or "hi" truly do not understand why people have not gotten the hint that no one like this! Its annoying as hell and lacks substance. I get these on my IG from time to time and dont bother replying.

One wonders as a reply. Just no.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Texting itself, when a phone call/real conversation is more personal.. But also, when they start talking too sexual too soon..
And I'm the opposite with the getting back to someone... Someone initiates the text, you reply back, then they take hours/days to reply back. If they were "too busy" to talk, why'd they text in the first place🤷🏼‍♀️

jennifer_bloom · Answer

If they never offer sympathy to something I say or if they are not committed to our conversations such as a sporadic and unpredictable texting schedule.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I don't have extended text discussions. If she is a potential romantic interest, I talk with her on the phone.

SweetFyter · Answer

I don't really use my phone for texting (my parents can access pretty much everything, I think). But when I'm on a website or chat, I do LOVE to have conversations and I think I'm pretty open about stuff.

BUT...

When the third text is something like, "Do you have any naked pics" or "What do you wear to bed" or stuff like that - I just block them. What makes ANYONE think ANYONE would talk about personal stuff right away like that? Someone who would do that, in my mind, doesn't care WHO I am at ALL. All he cares about is WHAT I am - female. I don't MIND talking about sexual stuff - I actually think it's pretty interesting the way guys thing versus how we think - but that's NOT the first topic just like it's NOT the first topic when you meet someone in person.

And, don't hate me, but when people cannot express themselves well enough in writing for me to understand them - then what's the point? That's not being mean, it's just that I can't enjoy talking (texting) with someone whose messages I have to GUESS at because of their improper grammar and spelling and such.

Gigi2019 · Answer

This person sounds super immature, needy, annoying and selfish. If you like him regardless of his off-putting behavior, try to explain to him that you are a person and that you require your personal space. I wouldn't bother trying to explain anything to this child and I would just block him. Your call, of course.

Still-alive · Answer

i get most of that... however

" someone who replies always immediately "

i HATE that this is a negative against people now. i sometimes have to deliberately wait a few minutes to not give the impression that im desperate or something. some people just reply quickly. why is this such a big deal?

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

The big one for me is the guy who immediately makes it sexual! I honestly can’t think of anything that can turn me off quicker than
Him: Hey Laura
me: hey, its joe right?
Him: Yeah, you’ll never forget me once you see my 8 inch cock… TRUST ME!
me: Okay, well you have fun with that bye 👋🏼

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

A person who asks me WYD
short replies like K, Yes,
No reply
Reply’s after an hour
Selective to which texts they reply to
Super long texts
Texting to often
Someone who constantly sends pictures
Sexual texts from someone you don’t know
Scam sexual texts from bots

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I agree with the first one when they keep texting you, poking you when you don't reply to them immediately as if you're not allowed to have a life, or do something besides being on your phone.
It's so unattractive. I get it if you need a fast response because of something time-sensitive, or something, but besides that... relax, please.

Also, if they keep going back to the same topic so a conversation just goes in a loop, or they cannot talk about anything but sex stuff.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

When they tell me they love me immediately. That shit spooks me away so fast. I also don't like possessive texting non stop asking where I am. I'm an independent woman I won't go andaybwothout talking to you relax clingy men turn me off big time

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Needy guys, that get pushing when you barely know them is annoying.

I text a lot, just like I chat a lot here in DM's but I'm not instant, but I always do get around to responding unless the last thing said was a conversation ender.

I'm often working, sleeping, cooking, or driving or riding all of which I can't text and do at the same time.

NathanDavis · Answer

I don't know... I still meet people in person, we don't do much texting... so by the time we're messaging each other, we already have met fairly enough in person, so the texting doesn't feel like "let's see how it goes" but that's my experience... lol

DizzyDesii · Answer

I like deep meaningful conversations. Even if its just about hobbies, i want to hear him express how he's passionate about something. I hate when someone takes too long to reply or gives one word answers. If its someone i’m not dating, its whateve. But when dating, its different

JSmuve · Answer

Girls who are boring and don't know how to have a conversation or flirtGirls who don't bother getting to know meGirls who take forever to respond. Like I know your phone is pretty much glued to your hand. If you're not going to put in effort, then obviously you're not interested enough. Girls who are prudesGirls who go on about their exes or talk about their emotional issues

moonpie89 · Answer

I'm the exact same way. It would turn me off. I will keep messaging him though if everything else is fine. I get turned off by weird sexual questions in the beginning. I hate when a guy makes assumptions about me right away based on the type of girls he dated. Conversations in the beginning should be fun and flirty.

Ghostluck · Answer

A guy can't win, he texts back too soon, he's desperate. If he waits five damn minutes, he's ignoring you. Us guys just get tired of playing by the woman's "rules" and we just do whatever the hell we feel like. If you run, you run, bye. For me, if a chick runs, that's on her. Especially if she runs before she even knows anything about me. Then, 2 months later when she is complaining about how no guy treats her right, I just start laughing my rear end off.

It's a twisted game of expectations. I don't play the game of expectations very well. That game will chase me off if I don't chase you off first. Either way it goes, it's going to end.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Hmm never really come across stuff that does, never talked to anyone that annoying in text. Think I would be lucky to get someone desperate for me lol.
Though I can see why it's annoying and understand why that is bad.

Sour-rose · Answer

"Whaddya wearin'?" "So are you single or married? Have any kids?" *leads up to a dick pig with a winky face*  :)... mofos don't know who da fuk they talkin' to.

desidoll · Answer

There are a few for me:
1) too needy
2) pretend to have a decent convo then to turn it into something sexual
3) play stupid mind game by acting like they ghost me then when they lost the game, they get mad

Squaresquirrel · Answer

My turn off is texting on the whole. Just call me! If you are not willing to do that, we are not looking for each other.  Or text me to ask when would be good to call.

petitedollbabee · Answer

When guys beg/pester me for nudes when we’ve barely started talking, or make really misogynistic jokes/comments. Yuck.

iamjustaman · Answer

Respect for my time is key, as I give it to others. There is much to do if you are a contributing member of society, and we can't always be available at a person's beck and call. This is something good to be direct about in the beginning so that you can avoid the annoying 30 calls and texts.

cosmicallyinclined · Answer

i hate when they can’t hold an intriguing conversation or never try to get to know me.. also a fatal mistake is trying to be too sexual or flirty too early.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Some girl wanted to meet and go out, she had one son and she was a little older than me she just pushed all these things on me, at the time I was battling lot of mental illnesses so that didn't work out

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

1. If she's short with her words or is boring to talk to.
2. Talks about sex immediately
3. Never replies or hits me up when they just want attention
4. Blows up my phone
5. Is disrespectful or has an attitude
6. Uses profanity a lot

Anonymous · Answer

For me it's when i'm texting someone for like 2 days thinking they are one of the nicest people I have ever met and then the next day beg for nudes. It's not just a turn off, you generally suck if you do that.

Anonymous · Answer

I also hate the desperate texts. I also don’t like when guys immediately bring themselves down when first texting, or talk about their deep life problems. I’m already a therapist friend, I don’t want to be some guy’s therapist girlfriend.

HighValue · Answer

If I find out they have liberal/democrat morals, I lose interest because I know we are totally incompatible.

Commander_Red · Answer

Someone who needs to text me every little detail. For example "eating lunch", "running", "going to work." Like that's great for you but I didn't ask! I don't care. Please stop spamming my phone!

one1wild00 · Answer

Gals that immediately start hounding me for money or to buy them things. let things go as they will. if I like you and am getting interested then I will tend to ask if you need help or get things for you on my own. Don't push it, that's an immediate turn off. The other things that are turn offs are blowing up my phone especially if you know its a time when I can't message. and ghosting.

Emerald55346 · Answer

Girl agree with you 100% it’s a sign of a man with no self control or awareness

Charlottexo1 · Answer

When they constantly text back and you don't reply and they ask why you haven't replied after 5 minutes

exitseven · Answer

Texting was not a thing when I was single but I think if somebody did not pay any attention to me I would not like it.

humanearth · Answer

Texting is a major turn off.  I rather they call me with their own VOICE.

dudeinohio · Answer

I prefer someone to immediately orvat least, within a few minutes, to respond to my texts. A slow rexter means I'm not a high enough priority.

Alyssa_11 · Answer

I don’t see why it turns you off if someone texts you immediately? I hate texting altogether but it ignited my anxiety literally but I’d rather text someone and have a full on conversation right there and then than wait hours or days.

Tinana · Answer

When people text are you single instantly after i send a picture like I understand it’s important to know but it just turns me off like we could just text as friends firstly

shaysh87 · Answer

That doesn’t seem like a high quality guy to me. Typically if a guy had to message random strangers to get a date , it usually means he’s desperate and lacks game in real life,

Cowboy6666 · Answer

short replies like meh, okay, ok etc. late replies

fuukit · Answer

incorrect spelling of basic words (not everything needs to be proper all of the time) I just have a hard time taking you seriously if you spell like a third grader.

HotelWhiskey27 · Answer

Being left on read, boring responses, completely butchered grammer

Agem123 · Answer

Getting sexual way too soon, not taking NO for an answer.

Oppsididitagain · Answer

Just always constantly texting as if they don't have any hobbies at all

Anonymous · Answer

Long reply times. When it's for no "reason" and every time.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

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TexasRed95 · Answer

I would say that the same situation as you described would be annoying. I don't ever have anyone to text but I knew a girl in highschool who was obsessed with me. And that was awful. Like follow me home without me knowing type of obsessed.

SignedAutographs · Answer

They're talking about marriage and babies, simply because I'm 33

jmharriz26 · Answer

1. “Send me a pic” - instant loss of respect  2. Short replies after sending them a long paragraph such as explaining how your day went

josephinelcajon · Answer

#1 long delays in replying! #2 do not understand Text is great for one thing a quick message not a conversation!

cookiecrusher · Answer

I really hate texting.  Only to setup a date and to meet up. I can talk to you on the phone for hours. But no texting. I really like 1 on 1 time with a woman, just chatting away while doiny something.

Anonymous · Answer

i'm forever guilty of replying super fast. but yeah, the desperation texts are a vibe killer

DaddyDiablo · Answer

Fuckin so why not just ask and see what's bothering or even bring up the main problem of the whole situation?

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Yeah. Try getting that when you are married.. lol wife alway texting, calling, asking where you are… what are you doing… such a turn off.

NailPolishLover · Answer

I don't mind texts or calls. To me it's how long, not what you say.

skytatoe · Answer

People who can't hold a normal conversation. Just instant turn off.

Anonymous · Answer

They joke WAY TOO MUCH in every conversations. Unnecessary. Sure being funny is probably a turn on, but making jokes all the time makes it like i’m talking to a 12 yr olds

Msputiton · Answer

When they waste no time trying to get sexual

Iron_Man · Answer

Slow boring responses

shanom · Answer

Any communication showing romantic interest is when I ghost

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Too long messages. Very basic grammatical errors.

What turns you off when you've just started texting with someone?

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What turns you off when you've just started texting with someone?

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