I feel that it is a double edged sword. It sets the precedence and establishes a sexual relationship early, but at the same time it takes away from the chance of genuine longevity of a potential longterm relationship.
The latter chance you run the risk of running a potentially good match out of your life by not making a move to indicate interest, but you don't want to jump the gun and give the wrong idea either. It is a game of risk either way, it just depends on the parties involved and what they value.
Personally I feel sex on the first date only adds pressure and takes away from authenticity. Going in with no expectations is probably the best bet.
Everything in life is about balance, not more, not less. A woman who has sex on the first date sounds good theoretically but practically after the sex one wonders how many other times has this happened with her. And if she is willing to give up such an expensive asset so quickly, is it really that expensive? But on the flip side, if a woman holds out on sex then there are two things that can happen, when he finally gets it, he will leave out of anger or if he doesn't get it, he will leave out of disappointment.
To me, it would make me think he's only after sex and nothing serious. I mean come on: who sleeps with someone on a first date you barely know? It makes you seem desperate.
I can't speak for others, but I have to have an emotional and physical connection with someone before I sleep with them. That takes time. Usually by the time we're officially dating, I'm at or near that level where I'd feel like, "Okay, I think I'm comfortable enough to sleep with him" because ideally that trust and established connection has been formed.
@Cynicaldreamer It happens a lot. Personally I dont care if I have sex on the first date but I wouldn't go more than 3 dayes w/out having sex w/ the women and most guys should probably stick to that strategy.
If they are "perfect" for you then being sexual with them or not wouldn't matter. No matter how quickly you have sex, get married, have kids, do or not do those things or whatever you decide to do as long as you do them together that person will always be your "perfect person". No act of sex on the first date will change either person's opinion if it's "fate".
To be perfectly honest, it would increase my interest in her. Not because she's easy or something, but because it shows me that she loves sex as much as I do, and that she's comfortable with herself.
Also, I would assume that she probably wasn't planning on having sex on a first date, as many girls don't, but either my appearance or personality has made her so horny that she changed her mind. Now, that's hot.
Having sex on the first date puts an end to any kind of long term future. Men take significantly longer than women do to get attached, so skipping to dessert ahead of establishing the relationship dinner leaves nothing to look forward to and no reason to keep putting work or resources into the relationship since he already got what he wanted out of the involvement and doesn’t know you or care about you enough to feel bad about you yet. Most men will start looking for the next snack elsewhere at that point. Don’t be a snack or skip to dessert!!!
I married my wife. We did that on our first date (although I somewhat made the initial move by jamming an emergency stop button on an elevator and kissing her). We already knew each other for a good time though and clicked a lot before we went on our first date. It wasn't like a blind date or online date. I ended up liking her even more after.
@ShySocialButterfly About a year before we started dating. We were kind of flirty friends from very early on but not so eager to jump into a date. We hung out together mutually with our friend group before that but always found ourselves at the edge of the party halfway ditching our friends to talk to each other. Then one day our friends left early leaving only us there, and so we danced and she kissed me (just a peck on the lips) and that's when we started dating.
@ShySocialButterfly We've been married going towards 12 years now. In general, the idea of becoming friends first (and not FWBs!) is kind of the standard way here in Japan. Usually, by the time people date, they already know a good deal about each other's characters so it's not so much the idea that dating is about getting to know each other, but elevating the relationship to something more romantic/sexual.
I love this! I wish that was the standard in the US. This intrigued me because I’ve been friends with a guy for a little over a year now we talk/FaceTime all the time see each other often and I believe there’s something there with us. Maybe I just need to kiss him😂.
If it had progressed naturally to that point throughout the night, I can only see it as a positive, especially as it gets the issue of physical compatibility out of the way early before you've spent weeks or months getting attached to find you just don't work together in that regard. That being said, not an issue if it doesn't happen either and you just end up having a good date with hopefully more to come.
Depends on the person. My boyfriend and I did it our first date and we've been together for nearly 7 years so it's not exactly dooming to the relationship. Though we did discuss that it wasn't necessarily a mistake but did happen way too quickly so we made sure to get to know each other more and make sure this was something we both wanted to be serious before continuing
THINK: Attractiveness is made up of 2 parts: 1. Appearance (sexual attraction) 2. Personality (Personal attraction)
If you have SEX on the 1st date... That ALLEVIATES some of the sexual attraction in the short term and perhaps it will never be as high. Because #1 is just a biological force... It isn't like #2
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Sex and relationships can be independent of each other.
I used to love a good one night stand, completely uninhibited sex, play out your fantasy bc you’ll never see them again.
My last one night stand was 8 years ago, I married the girl bc she ended up being amazing. We had sex as we got to know each other, turned out she was the one.
My one complaint about my wife is I can’t see her as a one night stand anymore. She’s my wife, so there’s a mental block that I can’t play out the dominant fantasies like before.
But if it hypothetically did, I would be confused as hell. My emotions would be all over the place. I wouldn't be able to sort it out. I have a pretty good feeling that the relationship would be over within 24-48 hours.
It depends on many things. Sometimes that can really increase the probability that a relationship will go well and other times it will decrease the probability. I think that generally speaking having sex just a little bit later perhaps on the second or third date is a better thing.
if a woman gives up sex too early i may not want her that much. i mean sex is really getting to know someone on one level but may but be on the right level. i sound old school but i wanna get to know her first.
If we don't find each other attractive enough to have sex then we are not compatible. Not worth the risk of getting cheated on while she still takes your money
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Any female who puts out on the first date pretty much loses her ability to become a long-term partner
well that was rude but I guess yeah I wouldn't aswell tbh if she is willing to have sex on the first date imagine how many times she may have done it with other guys. She needs to have high standards.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions