When you share a lot in common with someone much older/younger than yourself, do you intend to remain platonic or try to start up a romance? (Page 2)
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I guess it depends on the person, I've had this experience with a younger person, started platonic and moved to romance
Did the age ever get to you? It got to me before which is how i know its not for me
Not at all, she was almost half my age and if things had worked out, I'd still be with her
I used to think like you, but I slowly evolved from option A to option B to option C.
Of course I'm engaged now, so really not a option anymore.
Why were you not posting anything for a couple of days? I have gotten habituated to always see questions from you. Had me somewhat worried!
I’ve been in physical pain but i’m a bit better now :) thank you for asking
Glad you are starting to feel better@DizzyDesii
Well, there's a lot more to having a relationship with someone than having some things in common, so that wouldn't automatically get me thinking relationship.
Little age gap is ok... But very much older is not ok...
I would not want to have any serious relationship with them or even anything sexual...
Very rare to hear but i agree
Hiii
Ur back after sooo long...
How have u been?
Im okay now. But have been physically down
what happened?
Can u share with me?
Check other post
I just did get well soon 🤗🤗
Having previously dated someone much older, I would never do it again. We were in two completely different stages in our lives, and it was painfully obvious to me and to everyone we met.
Like one you wanting marriage and the other not being ready?
No, more like... we were just so obviously from different generations. Getting married has never been a must-have for me, so that wasn't really an issue. It was more about things like...
1. Growing up in completely different generations gives you more differences than you could ever imagine. We had completely different childhoods, different things we grew up with, etc. My boyfriend now is my age, and we watched the same TV shows growing up, we remember the same moments in history, we experienced the same cultural and technological shifts. Having those things in common isn't a must-have, but I didn't realize how much it helped a couple relate until I found it.
2. I began to realize that my ex would retire much sooner than me. He would become old and need care much sooner than me. If I waited until normal retirement age to retire, would I have anyone to travel the world with? Would I still die old and alone because he had gone first?
3. We were at different stages with our parents, too. His parents were much older and were likely only a few years away from needing substantial care. Who would provide that? At the stage of life I'm in, was I ready to take that on?
These are all things we don't think about, and they're not deal-breakers for everyone. In my case, my ex was totally the wrong person for me for so many reasons beyond age, but I did learn enough to know that I couldn't date someone so different in age again.
Clarification on #1 above - my *current* boyfriend is now my age...
With #1 im shocked by how much of my music and tv show taste etc are in common with guys old enough to be my dad and grandad. But i could never date someone that much older. #2 anything could happen and you may die first. But i admit, it would be awkward when one working and the other retired. I used to date this younger guy who was supposedly rich and considered retiring early. He wanted to be the stay at home dad and I don't know i just rather we both worked. #3 yea i wouldve got them an inhome nurse lol
My boyfriend is 13 years younger than me and we have been together for 10 years
Nice
Omg @DollAlone me too, my boyfriend is 10 years younger than me , im so confused , almost worried , as we might have so many differences and conflicts because of diff ways of thinking, is he a femboy or not? Mine is , do you argue everyday, omg i hope there will be nothing seriously dangerous in my rwlationship 😯🥺
My boyfriend was really mature amd i was really immature 10 years ago. We are almost exactly alike. We like the same things amd learned to like the things that were different over the years. We fight over dumb stuff usually nothing too serious. He says age is just a number. Whem we do fight i always think "why dont this idiot grow up and be more serious? " then i remember that im way older than him and he has much more time to go. But he has kept me young and we have fun together so good luck...
I would not pass on the chance of finding somebody I could have a good relationship with just because of an age difference.
I see
I used to be very strict and cold. Now I'm weaker in that area since I'm getting older and I'm still single.
(I probably wouldn't pursue it, though. She would have to be the one to initiate.)
I actually become more strict snd closed off the older i get lol
@DizzyDesii That's because you started too open. I started off as Simon Cowell.
No i didn't start off open at all. I was very closed off age 16 and under. I slowly opened age 17-21 and went extremely open age 22+
@DizzyDesii Okay. But you know what I mean.
Not really. But i just feel that my trust in people is going out the window and thats why im returning to my middle school shyness
@DizzyDesii You shouldn't trust people anyway.
That's my #1 advice that I want to tell everyone I know:
Don't Trust Anybody.
Its not platonic with my ex, haha. Now, my current as well.
Ohhh i seee
Platonic, I would only see them as more when there is an attraction
It depends on chemistry and emotional maturity. As long as they're 20+ and we're on the same wavelength it doesn't matter.
I need em 21+ So we can go to the casino 🤣
I have dated older women by over 10 years and all I can say is... they're more easier to talk too... and know what they want...
I know too many older men who are indecisive so I don't know if i can say the same lol
for sure I am just saying my experience.. older women is a better experience
I wouldn't mind dating someone like you describe, or even marrying her. Age is far less important to me than compatibility.
I hear ya
Although I’ve never dated anyone more than 5 years older or 4 years younger….. Age is just a number. If it feels right, go with it.
It doesn't feel right to me depending on their age but i understand for most it may
It's so funny you say this because lately I've been liking guys my age or younger. They're much more fun and I've been there done that with older men.
Finally someone gets it 😂
Yeah older dudes are drama too. I thought dating older would be peaceful but nooooo girl no. I've been digging younger these days. They're more care free , fun , no rush, just go with the flow. Are you wanting to date younger?
Im not into go with the flow no matter what his age is. And i still prefer same age or 0-3 gap. I have dated someone much older and much younger but not my cup of tea. The oldest was controlling and kept questioning my beliefs/morals/goals because they didn't align with his. The youngest was very indecisive and clingy. He tried to forge my signature on his lease after knowing him only a month. Nah
That's my experience with older men aswell. I dont get why they choose to be so controlling. Why doesn't go with the flow work for you? Normally for me it wouldn't BUT right now I'm not ready for a relationship unless he can bring the peace I already have. I'm enjoying doing what I want , when I want , and not having to share my time and space
I need things set in motion. I can't live spontaneously. He’ll piss me off and i’d leave. I've dated 2 go with the flow guys and i wanted to do some things unspoken of lol. Never again. I hate it so much. I need a guy who had his priorities in order and his goals in mind. He needs to be both defermined, ambitious and decisive. A lot of go with the flow people are indecisive and it turns me off. They often can't keep their word either. I understand that plans won't always go the way we want, but i rather date a man with a plan than a man who just flows in any direction at any time. You do whats best for you but im very picky in this department
That's true a lot of go with the flow people are somewhat indecisive because in reality we really don't want to be or ready for a relationship . That's why go with the flow works with flow works for me at the moment. I'm not ready I'm enjoying my peace. Unless he's drake then you already know I'll be ready for a relationship 🤣
Yea i can't date for fun. I’ve always wanted a longterm relationship thats going to lead to marriage/kids. I dont hookup. I’ll hangout but only if its going to lead to a relationship. So yea go with the flow isn't for me.
Go with the flow doesn't =hook up nor dating for fun. I don't hook up and I don't date for fun. Go with the flow for me is I'm not looking nor wanting a relationship right now. We can be friends. If somehow someway the person develops interest in me during that period and I have interest back then long term can stem from that.
I have no intentions of rushing anything. I feel going with the flow is the best way to truly get to know who someone is.. You'll notice a whole lot of things you'll either like, dislike, or a balance of both in which you can or can't deal with. I feel rushing builds an illusion of how you want or expect a person to be but then once it's a serious relationship 💥 reality sets in motions
For me that is.. do what works for you
Oh yea your go with the flow is basically my “talking” stage. No ones committed but we’re getting to know eachother. I’ll talk to a guy for a week to a month and if he has more dislikes that likes than i’ll dispose of him by the end of that. So yea your definition of go with the flow is definitely different because all the guys i know who say go with the flow were referring to hooking up and possibly becoming a relationship if they still wanted you after. Im not about to be anyones toy/demo button so thats why i said i dont do their version of go with the flow
Yeah that's it just friends like literally a guy bestie. If it turns into more then It needs to be a long term committed relationship. Cause I'm with you. I'm not dating for fun nor hooking up. That's just I don't know nasty to me. No judgement to anyone else who likes to hook up but I can't just give my body to anyone. And dating for fun seems like a waste of time.. YEAH dudes be 🤣 trying that "go with the flow" for sex. Not me. But anyways, how are you enjoying not working at that job anymore? You need to update us
Girl🤣. You got away from the job from hell
I was supposed to be enjoying it and working out like crazy but I've been bedridden for almost 2 weeks. I haven't gotten to do anything with my back operation and injured foot. Im hurt cause i wanted this break before i started another job in May
Oh hell nawl. Yeah I remember you mentioned dieting or working out a while back. I lost weight from doing what @Pink2000 told me to do. I guess you can try that for now. Girl that's crazy all this happened. You know everyone will be hiring in the summer
I don't see myself in any relationships in general, but I am an old soul. My friends parents get along with me because we just ramble about old music and movies while my friends stand in shock.
Omg thats so sexy and rare!! Im also an old soul and get annoyed when people dont know the music i refer too
Now I said I wouldn't mind dating or marriage. But I do still have age limits.
Whats your gap
Above 24 and lower than about 55. I live in a college town and women in their early 20s are too wild for me.
I live in a college town too but still prefer 0-3 year gap
I am not going to kid myself I really do not think a woman 20 years younger than I is going to date a fat bald old man Lol
it just depends i really dont look for shit and stay open to everything while simultaneously allowin God to send me things and folks that he really means for me to have