Red flag if he's taking long to respond to texts but on social media?

[Anonymous]

For a bit more context, I’ve been seeing this guy since around New Years. We had stopped talking for a month or so due to various reasons and I just reconnected with him. We got dinner, drove around for a bit, and I slept over his (only made out) before dropping him off at family in the morning. Dinner, the drive, and the time in general felt very nice. He texted me a couple hours after asking if I’m okay and how is everything.

A couple days later, I texted him a causal I had a great time we should do it again and made a joke. He texted back around 12 hours later, apologizing because he was busy and said yes we should etc. I had posted casual outfits and fits on Instagram during the 12 hours, which he viewed. I texted him back saying yea whatever weekend blah blah and once again is taking a long time to reply, but is on and positing in social media. I know he’s at work a lot during the week, but I’m not sure if this is a red flag and he’s actually just not interested, trying not to come on strong, or it’s excusable given it’s the first week we reconnected again, and not like serious text messages. Should I assume he doesn’t like me and drop, bring this up to him, or directly ask if he’s genuinely interested in me?

Side note, had also posted me at dinner with one of my close guy friends (who he knows about), before I had texted him during the week. I never posted him on social media could it be that he’s upset about that? I don't know if overthinking this.

[HollyK21]

I feel like this is more about his general availability than it is about whether he likes you or not and how much he does. He could have good intentions, enjoy his time with you and all that, but if his lifestyle doesn’t give him to room to make you a priority then this whole thing is just a waste of time for you. That being said, nothing is wrong with having a conversation with him, just to gain some clarity and decide your next steps. However if I were you I’d be assessing the general flow of this situation and asking myself if this is something you want to deal with long-term.

[Asker]

That’s very true! Maybe I should casually bring it up to him to asses general interest? Last weekend he does reply rather fast, so so far it’s just during a week thing. When I also saw him earlier on in the year he had always replied fastish, with the exception of some days he was also rlly busy at work. So I do wonder if his interest in me just lowered from before or just a week thing.

[HollyK21]

Unfortunately I don’t think the beginning of meeting someone is always the best period of time to factor in during your decision making later on. Why? Because people put on their best faces when things are fresh, new, and exciting, aka the novelty/honeymoon phase. But sooner or later it’s going to wear off and you get the real person behind who they were appearing as in the beginning, and that person may not be as consistent, available or even as interested as they were before. That’s why I believe it’s best not to make any really attachments during at least the first 2 months. With that being said, you can definitely have a conversation with him and see what happens, but I think you’re getting a lot of your answer based off his actions alone.

[Asker]

Gotcha, also didn’t think about how things shift after the new stage. That’s a good point thank you. If he reaches out I will try to get some clarification, otherwise will move on. Thanks!

[HollyK21]

Sounds good☺️ and no worries!

[DaySpring]

Yes... Here is the thing though young student, it's not about alertness of interest.
Maybe he is interested, maybe he isn't. - It doesn't matter -

If he responding ridiculously late on a consistent basis, he doesn't have space for them in his life. That is the red flag. Celebrities love each other all the time and end it because they are like thieves in the night. Never see each other, too busy. You have to open a space for the good you desire. @HollyK21 Said the same thing.

I tell you this is the truth; I got it right from the man upstairs himself. He told me that people ask him all the time and he doesn't give them what they ask for because they never make a space for it. From his lips to my ears I swear it so.

[Asker]

This is a good perspective I haven’t considered- thank you! I will take your point into consideration d shift it from not liking me enough to not having space for this. And regardless I will be unhappy. With that, if he reaches out again perhaps I can bring up in a subtle way that I worry he doesn’t have capacity for I want from him? And just see what happens

[Iron_Man]

That’s horrible 12 hours later I thought you were gonna say maybe 20 minutes or 15

[Asker]

No haha yea 12 hours, then it’s been 12 hours again since last text. Given it was just be saying yea lmk what weekend but I don't know. Ik he’s online and posting stuff

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you use him as a back up and continue on with your life and don’t take the guy seriously if he changes fine if he doesn’t then it won’t be a problem for you to move on

[Asker]

That’s a fair point, I don’t love using people as back ups but I’ll take the advice of not take him seriously as a result of this behavior and move on. And it it changes it changes

[Iron_Man]

Right I just didn’t want you to get hurt but I didn’t want you to lose him either in case he changes

[Asker]

Thank you :) I appreciate it, I’ll take this advice

[Iron_Man]

Nice And you’re very welcome

[Secret6620]

I think you should directly ask if he’s genuinely interested in you.

And if he cannot return your feelings, then you move on.

[Asker]

I was thinking something similar, thank you

[Secret6620]

💜💜

[Secret6620]

Yay! Another most helpful girl! Woot woot ✨️