Am I the only person that thinks (Friends with Benefits is degrading)?

[Cherrylicious]

Yet people are quick to call out gold diggers I personally think both intentions are wrong and selfish but I guess I am only speaking for myself when I say that I don't believe in agreeing to being a guy's booty call. "Friends With Benefits" in my opinion basically says "your only good enough to fuck but not to have a serious meaningful relationship".

Men are more NOTORIOUS for this kind of behavior of "wanting their cake and eating it too". It's okay for them to only see a woman as a sexual object, whether or not they are honest about their real intentions with no desire of relationship commitment, marriage or children yet these same men complain about gold diggers for having the same intentions just getting different benefits out of the "relationship."

Call me a narcissist if you want but I have an "all or nothing" mentality with standards even when on dating sites, I always write down on my profile that I am not looking for any casual flings fuck buddies, or one-night stands otherwise keep it moving yet I still have guys trying to challenge me out of my standards knowing that they do not want the same thing that I want which is a serious relationship so men are very manipulative and selfish why is that?

And online or offline, I have never met a man who wanted a serious relationship.

[EaterPeter]

I am with you, someone is being degraded whether they think of it that way or not

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for MHO!

[TheLastRhodesian]

They're not friends with benefits, they're slut friends, call it what it is.

[Cherrylicious]

Exactly

[GingerGuy]

"your only good enough to fuck but not to have a serious meaningful relationship" - unfortunately this is the case with many, and there's no basic respect even, which is really sad.

Personally I look at it differently, and if everyone did, it would be a different story. If it was actually FRIENDS with benefits, which includes respect, yes both are "using" each other, but there would be respect and friendship and COMMUNICATION! Really in a sense, a type of relationship, just not real serious (as in marriage, children, meeting family etc). I believe that would work with the right two people that had the same mindset. Unfortunately though, that's not the case (extremely rare).

[loveslongnails]

You're entitled to your opinion. I don't think you're the only one who has it.

The misused "friends with benefits" these days is that the people involved are never really "friends" to begin with, but rather, "fuck buddies". You can't just meet somebody and decide you want to fuck but not get serious and call yourselves "friends". Real "friends with benefits's" are an entirely different animal than "fuck buddies".

I don't share your opinion that real friends with benefits's are degrading, or even that "fuck buddies" are degrading. Consenting adults choosing to enjoy physical sex is their choice, so if they're ok with it, have at it. I've been there, done it, and didn't feel "degraded" by it. I knew it for what it was - a temporary fix for a permanent urge. That said, I understand your point of view, I just don't think the same.

[20yearsolder]

Of course, you do what works for you. People that have friends with benefits are happy to have a sexual partner. Maybe you're right that the guy doesn't do she's good enough to date but the same could be said for her. Maybe she just wants some dick and he's not dating material. Who am I to judge? I don't really give a shit if someone has friends with benefits

[slatyb]

You certainly aren't not the only person, but the notion that it's degrading comes from the belief that women shouldn't enjoy sex outside a committed relationship progressing to marriage. But of course many can and do. That may not be your preference, but there's nothing wrong with women who feel differently.

[ArtemisSilver]

I think that a woman's desire to own a man before having sex is unhealthy because it commodifies sex as leverage for forcing a relationship. With widely available birth control the risk of recreational sex is minimal.

Therefore what you're really taking about is how you seem to think sex should be used to gain social advantage and exercise psychosocial power over men. Pretty fucked up and degrading if you ask me.

[Cherrylicious]

So you think anyone should be used for sex for one's personal gain is what you're saying?

[ArtemisSilver]

No I'm saying that consenting adults should do what they want, without trying to dominate eachother based on antique moral dogmatism or selfish grasping.

[ArtemisSilver]

In any case, try being worthy of attention for more than just sex and you'll find a relationship.

So many women fail to bring anything else to a relationship and are shocked when nobody wants to invest effort.

[Freyke]

I do not think it is degrading because both partners are consenting. Like a Dom Sub relationship. Whatever the Sub will go through, it is still within the sub's boundaries, it is weirdly enough still consensual. But I agree, All or nothing is the way to go!

[ArtemisSilver]

You're not going to talk sense into a religious prude or someone with a victimization complex.

[Freyke]

@ArtemisSilver Well that's a bit insulting, isn't it.

[ArtemisSilver]

Me insult someone? Never. Seriously though OP has some major issues

[Hanrej]

Define serious relationship, please.
Because I've never met a woman who would define it. No one wants to admit that in their mind a "serious relationship" means the woman can just sit back and nag on her man/husband to do any and everything. If he doesn't she will divorce or separate using the law to her full advantage taking away all that wich he has busted his ass to accumilate.

[exitseven]

I don't think degrading is the right word. I think that it gives people a jaded view of sex which should be something special between two people and also one person usually ends up getting hurt.

[sirderpsalot123]

This is silly. An agreement between two consenting adults, who have a mutual understanding that they are both using each other for sex, is not the same thing as a woman secretly using a man for his money.

[sirderpsalot123]

A man who leads a woman on just so she will have sex with him isn't a "friends with benefits" deal, it's just shitty behavior on his part.

[fonduegirl]

Facts

[fonduegirl]

It's only unfair if the female counterpart gets attached. If not, it's just two consenting individuals fulfilling their needs.

[Dchrls78104]

No, you are not. Prostitutes at least get paid for their services.

[lofii]

Nothing wrong with friends with benefits

Being in a whole relationship is a lot of work

[Jamie05rhs]

SMH.

[eagle1951]

must be