Can you tell when a shy/introvered person likes you?

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

Looking for an opinion and advice more so on if you can tell if a shy/introverted person likes you. As background a while ago I asked out a former colleague who said that they didn't want to rule out a date but the timing wasn't right. They indicated that talking/knowing each other more may help.

So I left it at that and acknowledged the conversation response. I've continued talking to them once/twice a week in the months since and we've shared details of our likes, dislikes and childhoods. It is very hard to tell of the conversation is flirty or not as sometimes it is and sometimes it's not, but very rarely stays on work topics.

She's indicated to me that she is a very shy person and quite introverted so I'm wary of jumping on any one thing or trying to move too fast. I always start the conversation but when I do she's engaged and ask questions, is playful and always let's me know when she's heading to bed.

We caught up in a group of friends a few weeks ago but didn't get to talk as it was very hectic and a lot of friends complaining about various things (as these go) but she sat opposite me and glanced down occasionally.

Wow that got long winded and I know that everyone will just be taking a guess at opinions/thoughts. Essentially I would like to know the following:
- is the initial response a definite no, or should it be taken as a no at the time?
- should the next move be asking to hang in a group or an individual setting?
- is it weird to be the person who always starts the conversation?

thanks in advance, all thoughts appreciated 😊

[HighlyVolatile]

I ceased to like shy ones but in the beginning, I dated multiple and my way is just to chat their ear off like this and see what happens:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/wdFXcc6IiNE

It usually worked. They seemed very comfortable with me (I was comfortable with them just talking and talking) and happily accepted my date offers. I'm not clueless though about body language. I paid very close attention to how they felt while chatting their ears off.

I also held their hand and things like that, but very gently offer my hand.

[HighlyVolatile]

I couldn't tell so hard if they liked me or put up with me but they accepted my date offers with smiles, and on dates, more smiles, kiss, smiles, everything seemed okay.

[HighlyVolatile]

It's kind of a monologue way. I felt like I was talking to myself sometimes but on dates, they'd say things like, "You are so interesting, you change personality from serious to whimsical out of blue," here and there. Then I'd just chat their ears off some more and walk around and hold hands. I came to favor more sociable types later but I dated a lot of shy ones starting out.

[Guy13]

Bottomline: she’s not comfortable alone with you. How to lower one’s guard or fear of inquisition ❓❓❓❓ Jokes. Animal ones shows sensibilities rather than sexuality.
-Change Method at work for her “hump day” see you through the rest of the week-Joke. Two a week.. NOT ALWAYS on date night for second date. Sunday 4pm via FaceTime with a make happy intent cause you make me happy too.
-Just Sayin…

[random_girl95]

I think that it's better to prepare yourself that it might be a definite no, rather than be expecting something that might not ever happen. Secondly, it's better if the other person is a shy one, to go out with a group of friends rather than alone as she will probably be terrified by the thought of you being alone so better play it safe. Lastly, I totally get you when feeling weird when you start a conversation as I am mostly an initiator myself.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response. I've mostly prepared for it being a definite no based on the first response. However, I'm trying to determine if it's worth asking a 2nd time, and only a 2nd time

[random_girl95]

If you won't try you will never know. However you should do the best thing that you know won't break down completely. Of course you are going to get hurt, depends on how much you like this girl of course, but not loosing your head completely if you get what I mean.

[Iron_Man]

Yes by looking into the eyes

[In_Trance]

Doesn't like you