Many people have different views on how they treat dates, how dates should be, and if they should be professional/casual… Some people say you should treat dates like a job interview… Professional and straight to the point.
Well… Do you treat dates like a professional job interview, or are you more casual/go with the flow? Why/Why not?First date/Job interview?My answer: I don’t treat first dates like a job interview. I don’t mind going outside the barriers of “get to know each other” questions. I like to be casual and comfortable, but also hold enough “professionalism” to make it so they know I am serious about dating, and not just wanting sex, going on a date for fun, or whatever.
Yes, I do/would treat first dates like a job interview.
No, I don’t/wouldn't treat first dates like job interviews.
Both. Not too professional, not too casual.
I don’t date/I haven’t dated.
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Do/would you treat first dates like job interviews? Why/Why not?
I am 100% casual until something Sirius comes up and then I might ask the tough questions but in a casual way the date supposed to be fun and I want to remember it as a good time not as a drill sergeant whatever happens happens whatever is asked is asked I really dont even think of it as a date . I just want to hang out with each other and do spur of the moment things nothing really pre planned weather its winter or summer there is always something going on I dont like to be grown up all the time in many ways I'm a free spirit and if I can connect with someone who is the same it's always beautiful and fun and if there becomes a moment I have to become an adult or grown up It will happen in the blink of an eye and I take charge I take over because whatever the situation is I want to deal with it in that moment now it all depends on the situation
To be honest I hate dating I honestly don't even think I've ever dated anybody ever LOL Not unless I was in a relationship that's the only time I think I have dated. And it was a pre-planned date I have it all planned out. just very special really good time something off the wall something different something unique and something just for the both of us
I NEVER treated a date like a job interview. If a girl ever did that to me, it would be our last date. She wouldn't be my type. I wasn't searching for a wife. I just wanted to see how well we got along. I wasn't looking for immediate sex, either. I was looking for chemistry.
In the cases where we clicked and liked each other enough to start exclusively dating - engage in a committed relationship - sex would eventually follow. Finding a relationship like that was my reason for dating a girl in the first place.
Once we were in a relationship is when we would start learning more and more about each other. But, even then, I never asked about body counts, did a background check, or requested a resume. It was about how well we got along.
If my life choices have been correct, I won’t have to worry about dating again. However, I wouldn’t treat it as an interview should this scenario come my way. When my husband and I were dating, there was anticipation, excitement and wonder. It was far more than just a pleasant smile and presentation of credentials. We allowed each other the time to share stories, flirt a bit, and hold hands in silence. That’s how we got to know if we were going to make each other happy. Today’s world is different than 20 years ago, but I hope potential couples are willing to “seek out the magic “
Definitely not a job interview. I'm stressed out in an interview. I don't want to be stressed out on a first date... well don't want to be completely stressed out like an interview.
The more casual the better for me. Gives me an opportunity to see them relaxed as well as how we can be together while relaxed.
It's an "interview" in that I'll be bringing up some key points early: - childfree (if they're not CF, we're not dating) - bisexuality (want to see if they're gonna freak on that, whether negative or fetishizing it - make one threesome joke and you're instantly not datable) - jobs (wanna know if they're employed and at least a little ambitious) - values (I don't date people who don't align with my values)
These things give me a sense of whether there's any point in pursuing a serious relationship.
Outside of making sure we have basic compatability with those topics above, I'm there to have fun. If I realize early on they're not a fit but we're having fun, I'll consider continuing the date but make sure to explain at the end that we'd be better as friends/not seeing each other.
If I can't get to those topics because we're having too much fun, so be it! Second date it is and we'll try to get to it then.
@Smoke-n-Growls This is great for guys to read. More men should approach 1st dates w/ a similar mindset. Most guys take the mindset of I hope she thinks I'm good enough for her when they should be trying to decide if she is good enough for them. Like you are.
@Vegasrunner Yeah, I think it's worked well. It's a good way for me to find common ground, but also respects the other party's time.
Honestly, I would be really relieved to find a guy who likewise thinks like this. It's nice to know what one wants out of a relationship - it makes it easier to find it.
Thanks for the comment. :) Boys - you guys deserve to know what you want out of your partners, and be able to pursue them. That's not just a "girl" thing. It's a healthy relationship thing.
On reading this question, my brain ran through a little skit of two people having a date like a job interview, it went a little something like this.
So I see you've had quite a few previous positions filled, why do you think that is? Well I've just never found a position that really felt quite right, you know hit the spot. I've even had 2 at once abd it just wasn't right for me.
So what was the reason you left your last placement? It just wasn't satisfying me, and I was underappreciated despite giving it my all. I was head hunted a few times during the last one.
What qualities do you feel you can bring to us here? Well I have extensive experience as you can see, and I have fulfilled many different positions, and my oral skills are excellent.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Well I'd like to be married with maybe a couple of kids.
Ok thanks for coming in, you'll hear if we're interested.
NOPE‼️ I get all that small talk, chatting one another up, and/or interview out the way in the front end. I’m not spending my hope,, time, or 💰 on something I haven’t checked out already. And, if she doesn’t have the patience to work through describes processes at a Starbucks or 🍺 on sidewalk in sun then go on about yourself. —Who like to meet at some place nice and intimate and sit through an inquisition where one is pressed into Relationship or into bed 🛌… I can get both of those things at the bars 1/2 mile from home without investing Starbucks time. An Interview… 🤔, sounds like a FEMINIST wrote this question OR perhaps a guy who has run up on pantsuit pussy so tight you can here her shoes squeak —No Thank you‼️
Yes I’m also a fairly reserved individual. Still I’m 💯 my self take it or leave it for both. If you’re looking to just impress the people on the other side of the table regardless of if it’s a job interview or a first date, that’s pretty manipulative. And you won’t know if it’s a good fit either way. Also I’m carful not to give to much personal information etc. for both. Polo and khakis for both unless it’s summer date. Well I have put on a par of shorts for a interview in my teens but that was a long time ago. I would say that a panel interview is definitely not anything like a first date. More like the first time she brings you home But being your genuine self makes more sense than living a lie personally or professionally.
You could say dates are interviews in an informal way, we are getting to know the person we may be with and decide whether they're for us or not, exactly what an interviewer does. It's just not so formal, and we pick up the answers from casual conversation instead of firing questions.
My culture really don't really do "dates". Instead people get to know each other through shared activities. Then perhaps after getting to know each other and possibly having sex you might have a coffee with her or something. Essentially relationships are treated like friendships without any formal structure for how you get to know each other.
Even though I treat job interviews in a way to make myself memorable, interesting and not boring at all.
My first date would rather be much more exciting rather than boring like a job interview.
However, I’d observe the guy and try to see how he acts, how he traits waiters, how he treats me, I’d let them speak enough to get an idea about his personality.
For this, it’s not necessary to ask questions, it’s necessary to just listen.
No, because it is not. I have been on dates where it felt like I was being grilled like an interview. Guess what? there was no 2nd date. Same with women that barely say anything. If I can't get an idea if we are compatible enough to at least explore a relationship, there is no reason for a 2nd date.
Not really, I treat job interviews very seriously and do a ton of research. To me doing that on a date just takes the fun out of it, I think you should be relaxed and try to enjoy yourself while you get to know the other person. Going about it like a job interview just seems counterproductive more than anything.
I don’t treat them as an interview but sadly it’s very similar. Your basically applying to potentially be that boyfriend/girlfriend material. You have to have the right outfit, you can say all the right things and you still won’t get the job, OR you can say one wrong thing and you are completely out the picture and you will never know if they have other candidates or if you are the only one. I wish we didn’t treat them this way but sadly it’s turned into a number game.
Nah, I'd definitely treat it in a more relaxed and enjoyable way. If I were to go on a date with someone, we would have already gotten to know each other beforehand. Because I'm not the type to go on a date unless I'm confident in our compatibility. I just wouldn't wanna waste my time (assuming my goal is an ltr).
the usual for me, is to go out with someone only... after I already know them a bit, and we have met before and we're obviously into each other, at least interested... so I have never really went into dates with people to see how it turns out and if it goes well
but even if I were to try that some day, when I just see someone and ask them out without knowing them enough, I would still not see it so impersonal as a job interview can be
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Anonymous
(25-29)
10 mo
A job interview is different then winning over someone’s heart. During a job interview I can’t really joke around, it’s to the point answers and being professional. If I’ve had a long week at work and go out on a date I just want to relax and unwind. Meet someone, joke around, have a nice dinner, just be ourselves, that’s the point of dating.
As a guy, I understand some girls are serious they won’t find a dude taking a line drive to the nuts by a baseball ⚾️🥜 as funny. While other girls will laugh and have a goofy persona about it. Me personally, I have a serious side to me when I have to focus on school or go to work. But I have a weird sense of humour and like to be a practical joker to.
To me, A date is not just the time spent with someone. But what comes from that time. An experience, that only the two of you hold. together. Time spent, granting the trust, that weve never given, or the pain we've never showed. Filling out a resume', doesn't come close. I believe in a love, that is without a doubt, Overbearing. Overtaking, Swift, and Effortless. And makes you feel more loved, than anything has ever made you feel before. Nothing comes, even close.
I voted C but I would say I'd more leaning toward casual side. It's dating not a professional interview for a job. So yeah it's casual. But I would keep a bit too myself and will be a bit diplomatic about it.
I will ask questions and I will answer questions. I like it that way. Like a ping pong match. The conversation is what that matters the most.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
10 mo
If you take a girl out and don't expect anything to happen just hang out you'll have a much better time and a much better chance of a kiss or more than the job interview version of a date. They are deadly painful but the guy who is just fun and makes you laugh can have almost anything he wants.
No. I dont date women until I know them well from phone calls, chats, texts and coffee dates. Coffee dates are what I treat as "interviews". Not that long, normally after work so there's some desire for each of us to go home AND as a guy I like that weeknight coffee dates have the girl show up in work clothes and work appropriate makeup/hair.
If the maybe 1 hour coffee date goes well then she gets an actual real date.
Yes and no. You should cover important topics, but you should also relax enough to let yourself have fun. And let them have fun as well. Part of the date is selling the point that you're an enjoyable person to hang out with. (But I can understand how that can be hard. Especially if you're nervous.)
Superb Opinion