He was toxic and I'm glad we don't speak anymore, but I still miss what we had?

tokyolights
Sometimes I literally cringe when I see him, other times, I think that I miss him... or maybe just what we had? These emotions truly confuse me.
My ex is a nice person, and still is, but once we developed a deeper connection and started dating it became a world of jealousy and manipulation.
I am friends with his current girlfriend who is the sweetest person I've ever met, and I honestly feel bad for her based on my experience (but she doesn't like to talk about her relationships so I don't know how it's going).
He is somewhat popular and is friends with a bunch of interesting people that I miss being around.
When we broke up, he still had feeling for me and it took a lot of effort and a lot of going against my morals to "convince" him that I don't like him anymore, and we had to stop seeing each other.
Even with all the bad things and emotions that went down at the end of our relationship, somehow it doesn't seem to taint the good times we had in the beginning.
He was toxic and I'm glad we don't speak anymore, but I still miss what we had?
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