Why can't more white guys give me a chance?

Question

As a medium to dark skin black woman.. do I look dirty to them or am I automatically presumed too ghetto for them eventhough I was raised in the suburbs

Sixgunsound · Accepted Answer

The fact that you automatically assume it’s a race issue says more about you than it does about the hypothetical them. Nobody owes anybody anything, and so the question you really need to be asking is what are you bringing to the table to get attention or more from the men you’re interested in? And I don’t really think this is a race issue, it’s more of a gender relations issue which you are not at all alone in. Many if not most young women these days have unrealistic expectations about their sexual market value. Are Black men or Hispanic men or Asian men paying attention to you in greater numbers or greater amounts? Incidence of actual racism in dating are relatively rare, not to be confused with times when someone says or does, or fails to say or do, something you would prefer. Why should any man you prefer or are interested in I’ll give you a chance? Men don’t owe you anything, so what you really need to be asking is what about you is different in a good way such that they would want something to do with you. If you brought something to the table to differentiate yourself from all of the other women that they are paying attention to, you might notice that you start seeing better results. This seems to be a problem with far more women than just you, which gives you the advantage if you make the self improvement change before your competition does.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There may be a couple reasons I can come up with.

They think you’re ghetto. Being raised in an almost exclusively white community I understand what they presume. Where I live if you go to the poverty stricken areas it is almost exclusively black people. Once you get out into different parts of the world, you realize there are different walks of life for every race. If they gave you a chance I’m sure they would realize that. It’s there bad.

You also just might not be very attractive, it may not be that you’re black.

Another reason may be they’re not allowed to bring a lady home of a different race. I know I would not be aloud to and it would be unfair to her to have to deal with the degree of racism that would entail. A lot of our parents and grandparents are extremely and blatantly racist.

The last reason I have is they may see your Ebonics as you showing less intelligence. Which is probably not the case, yet again.

Even though we are in 2022 there is still a lot of racism, some subtle and some not so much. If you are in a almost exclusively white area some people may be still holding onto these convictions.

Anonymous · Answer

Here I go. There is no - such - thing - as - race. Not sure why we bought into this race thing so easily. We keep putting up that barrier they handed us as if it belongs when we know it doesn't and we argue against it all the time.
Your question is a case in point. If you see yourself as black and him as white how can you not project that barrier into the relationship. There is a "difference" instead of a commonality laying there in the middle of the floor.
I have loved (not had sex) with several women who had beautiful dark skin. Others told us that mixed relationships don't work. LMAO all relationships are mixes. Unless you marry yourself. Why should tone be of any greater value then other differences to work with and enjoy?
So drop that issue and get to the real meat.

cth96190 · Answer

Because most people do not do interracial.
Millions of years of natural selection have hard wired into people of all races a strong preference for their own kind.
That is how it should be.
For example, everything about women of other races is the opposite of what attracts me sexually.
I would encourage you to look closer at men of your own race.
Based upon what I have heard black content creators in the Manosphere say, there is a large number of decent marriage-minded young black men who have given up because the young women want only Tyrone, Pookie and Ray Ray.

DWornock · Answer

There are a number of reasons. A big part is what appeals to us. Within my age range about 40% of Asian girls appeal to me but where I live there are almost no Asians. About 25% of white girls appeal to me and about 10% of black women appeal to me. However, if a black girl is that pretty, that means she in the top 10%. I can't attract top 10% girls so I assume she would reject me so I never try.

Another reason is we tend to run in different circles. There are blacks in my city but none in my neighborhood and only a few shop where I usually shop and they almost never go to the clubs I go to. Therefore, there is not many opportunities to interact. When I do meet a black girl, I'm a bit uncomfortable because I'm afraid I may say something that will offend her. Therefore, I am overly cautious and cannot relax.

ChrisWaters · Answer

I guess it depends on the individual.
I do like women of other races personally, and even though there's very few Black women in my area, I just know that I do find them attractive and definitely interesting.

BLP11520 · Answer

Prejudices are deeply ingrained in some of us white guys. Not me , but I sure remember the hate filled ignorant talk. Some guys are programmed by looks what a person is, example skin color. The older I get the more I understand color shouldn't matter. I am white and met my white wife in college, ( not a white college).

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It's just because your skin is darker than theirs, and you look different from what they're used to. It's nothing personal; trust me. It's not racism, either. Those guys just want a person that seems "familiar" to them. Other guys will want something more exotic, and those are the ones that will fall in love with you. Don't give up!

Philyouup · Answer

i have dated darker women. but i have to like or be attracted to you, if you are too ghetto, i have a hard time getting around that. just don’t find that sort of behavior or personality attractive. you might be a very fine person, but can do that sort of personality.

Hanrej · Answer

Well, your post doesn't give much to go on. Are you sure these guys even know you're interested? Guys, particularly White, can be quite dense.
Then it could also have nothing to do with you but rather that they don't even want a relationship. There's a rather new trend among men to stay celibat to avoid drama and problems.

Adam1978 · Answer

If you want more chances make yourself an attractive option. From the guys perspective.

MrCommodore · Answer

Not sure, I don't think its any of those that you mentioned, attraction is either there or it's not.

CompletelyHetero · Answer

I actually love black girls and I'm white, but then if you are attracted to black girls they say we fetishize them, so I guess they don't want us to find then attractive really, but then they also complain when we don't... We can't win

Avicenna · Answer

Are you trying to meet them online or IRL? Do you live somewhere where it's still not accepted for a white man to date a black woman?

zagor · Answer

A lot of white guys may assume a black girl isn't interested in them. Have you tried online dating?

boggboss · Answer

Depends on the person and the culture of the people around to whats accepted and what's not

ImNoOne111 · Answer

Too dirty one is sort of funny, of course not. About the ghetto part, it kind if gives of ghetto vibes but I badly try to ignore. I would call that skin caller attractive tho

mantelk · Answer

Stop worshiping white people. They are quite bland people

OldWorldOrder · Answer

Why don't you pursue your own kind? What do you have against suburban black men?

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Uhh i mean if you're over 30 then you're at a disadvantage no matter your race.

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

I don't find black women attractive whatsoever  but there are some other white men that are into black women just keep looking.

scott04sa22 · Answer

I like darker skin women but they mostly want Mexican guys from what I heard 🤷🏻‍♂️

Anonymous · Answer

I don't discriminate based on race. Personality is the key factor for me.

weirdoweirdo · Answer

Because they're just not attracted to you? can't force a person to like you.

rebeliouse · Answer

no idea as I have happily dated mixed race and black women and other races too i love the different culture and alternative views it brings :D

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

Unfortunately no matter your class black women are bottom of the barrel they have the worst reputation of all women

The_Naughty_Guy · Answer

It’s just changes from men to men. I love women of all races and find them attractive

Simplyme355 · Answer

How about post your pictures up on here and ask and see who likes you. That's what I do.

altdbob · Answer

I don't look at skin color, if your good at sex I'll see you again.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Give you a chance to do what? I don't understand!

VikingWarLord · Answer

Do you look like DUCKIETHOT on IG?

Anonymous · Answer

White guys are afraid of black women

fonduegirl · Answer

Why can't you date black men tho

Abdulwahh · Answer

I like brown girls too

Why can't more white guys give me a chance?

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