What are the top 3 downsides to dating you?

Question

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

1. I overthink things and so I tend to chase for clarification if it's put crypticly instead of into words. So that might kill the vibe if you're the sorts who want everything between the lines. Like, I could use the practise but it's like gambling at times.

2. I'm prone to oversharing and wanting to discuss everything openly without judgement. So although mystisism seem to be my forté I am rather quick to dispell it too given the chance. But I mean I could practise avoidance too but you know, it won't be perfect.

3. I'm inexperienced in the sack. I try to make up for it with enthusiasm and reading/watching content about it (porn included but like ofc I'm not so stupid to think anything goes, duh).

It's not in the dating phase, but it's definitely in the picture.
4. The before-dating-stage is hard to get past. I seem to often find an excuse to assume you mean what I am not thinking of first, so I assume you want to be friends, sometimes to a painful degree.

While I am overthinking..
Any of these downsides could be seen as upsides given the right preferences and perspectives. But ofc these are projects of improvment, I am working on it. Balance is everything.

Upsides:
1. I overthink things and so I won't assume I know what you mean, over time we might understand eachother very well. We might be a machine. Hopefully not a cold one.
Good longterm, bad shortterm.

2. While I won't be a mystery for long you can always talk to me and get to the bottom of things. If you're humble enough we could grow together.

3. Well.. uuh..
Less prone to be a carrier of disease..
🤔🤤

4. If you really aren't interested we'll get along fine.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

I think that I'm a workaholic sometimes that takes priority over other things and I really don't think about it until either halfway done with the job I'm doing but I could have done something different I said something different

When I'm building something or inventing something and I'm just about done I want to finish it I want to try it whatever it might be so I take that time away from the person and I think that's wrong

And probably that I am always late because I'm always doing something but I'm getting better at that

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

They are moreso challenges than downsides in my opinion. But nonetheless things one has to keep in mind. I think there are two downsides not three.

1. Difference in neurotype. I have ADHD and Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder, so my brain is differently wired from what's considered normal, aka neurotypical. We're not bad at communication, we communicate just as effectively with our fellow neudivergent people as neurotypical people communicate among themselves, but with each other there is a communication gap for how we perceive and communicate things. It has led to a lot of misunderstandings in friendships and relationships in my life which is why empathy and open-mindedness has become my top priority in qualities to look for in a man. If we cannot talk about our thoughts and feelings in a differentiated manner, the relationship is doomed.

2. My triggers. I unfortunately have a lot of traumas that make me triggered by seemingly normal things. It's not his responsibility to avoid my triggers, in fact in a healthy and secure relationship one would feel safe to be triggered. But it's hard to not take this personally and freak out or worrying that you have to walk on eggshells.

But hey, it's not all that bad too. I'm also very smart, creative, imaginative, honest and loyal in my relationships. I have a wide variety of interests and knowledge, I am widely known as a kind, caring and upbeat person and I'm also frequently told that I have a unique aura around me. No way am I going to settle for being treated like a freaking handicap when I know I bring so much to the table in a relationship.

DermalPunch · Accepted Answer

Distrustful, leave before I get left stance, and in need of constant reassurance.

Buuuuuuut, if you can get through Fort Knox, I am nurturing. I will be your biggest and sincerest cheerleader when you don't believe in yourself and I will spoil you.

I won't coddle you though and I WILL tell you about your trifling ass.

I've been the wife your boys are all jealous you have but I am a handful. Not for most but missed when I'm gone. This sounds cocky but I have been underestimating what I bring to the table for many years and have been abused. I need to start recognizing my own value. So please miss me on the ignorant comments. Thank you.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. I'm very loyal in a dating relationship, so you will be preventing other women from having the pleasure of dating me. :)

2. I snore!

3. Like most older people, I have become a creature of habit and routine.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don’t drive because I have delayed visual processing, I’m clumsy because I have poor hand eye coordination, I’m not good at wiping tables clean because my eyesight isn’t sharp enough to see every crumb on the table.

Pinay_ako · Answer

1. I’m too caring  2. I’m moody 3. I’m too organized

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

One man's downside is another's upside.

If the guy is opposite to me or comes from a culture where some things are like taboo to speak about etc... so far these

1) I'm not looking to fight with a loved one, but sophisticated conversation with them. I could talk about anything. Better than mind-reading.

2) I don't like taking big risks. He can sky dive alone. 😀

3) I research often. If he wants to give me advice/ say something about a complicated matter, specifically, and he has a big and or fragile ego, this may annoy him.

HighValue · Answer

I don't forgive easily.

I don't want her becoming friends with my friends and I don't want to become friends with her friends. We can hang out together as a group, but I don't want her hanging out with my friends when I am not around, and I don't want to hang out with her friends when she is not around. Some people think that is stand off-ish, but I prefer it that way.

After using things, I want them put back in their proper place, not just put away randomly. For example, everything in the refrigerator and cupboards have their place. I don't like things out of place.

Lionman95 · Answer

1. I´m no guy for sex: I´m infertile from birth and I have a low libido, I don´t think that much of sex in general.
2. I´ve been a porn addict for along in time my youth. I have started watching porn to get to know what I´m missing out hence I can´t orgasm well but it turned against me kind of destroyed my self-confidence. So I still work to gain confidence again.
3. I´m not very strong in a physical sense meaning I´m a very thinn guy so I´m not good at stuff that needs strength like most mechanical stuff (changing tires...).

Ευδεμονια · Answer

1) I don’t stand cheaters, players and indirect messages. I’ll tell the truth, I’ll respect you, and I expect you to do the same. If you can’t give me that, good bye;
2) don’t disrespect my friends and my family, also one of my best friend is a girl, so deal with it. If you can’t stand that, good bye;
3) I make decision in straight line. So if I decide a thing, you can’t change my mind. I can be stupid doing this but I can take responsibility for my decisions and for my errors, I expect you to not try interfering or hinder me.

Bob92220 · Answer

1. I'm only 5' 9". Many of the women profiles on the dating site prefer men who are at least 6' tall.
2. I'm not going to spend the money on her that she wants. I'm a gentleman and I pay for the date. Movie, dinner, snacks, etc. But it stops there. I'm not going to fill her gas tank. I'm not going to pay her rent. I'm not going to pay for her shopping. Etc.
3. I have a nice appearance but I'm not "hot" as many of the women on the dating sites are looking for.

If I was a woman and had lots of men wanting to meet me I would pick the "cream of the crop" and I wouldn't pick me. Who would you pick, someone who's financially generous or someone who is cheap?

libsaretards · Answer

1. I'm an introvert. I am not the kind of guy who you take to parties too often. However, this means you never have to question where I will be while you are enjoying yourself.

2. There are a few topics I will not compromise on. They tend to relate to my morals. However, any woman I date long term would share these morals anyways.

3. I am fiercely protective. Yes, you will be safe with me, but this also means once I detect what I perceive as a threat to you there is nothing you can do to change my mind. It is for the other person/people to prove they are not a threat, not you.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

1. I'm a morning person, so you best get up early if you want my best hours.

2. I'm active, so if you're lazy it isn't gonna work.

3. I'm ambitious, so if you just wanna roll around and not try new things, you're gonna end up left behind.

DarkCarousel · Answer

I’m sure these fluctuate but #3 is consistent.

1. I’ve been single for a long time so I’m used to doing my own thing. When I do find someone I want to be in my life, I’m all in and I would like them to be as well.

2. I have anxiety but I actively work on it.

3. I love to cuddle but I need LOTS of space when I’m sleeping. I’m like a furnace when I’m sleeping and I don’t like being hot. Crank it down to 60degrees in the room and then maybe.

erandal · Answer

Only got one big one and that is I need my own space regularly or I tend to get very bitchy. I am not nice to live with long term and we would need a few hours every day so I didn't kill you.

I also snore and tend to be demanding in regards to sex.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

1. I'm married so you'll have to deal with my husband too. Think awkward when he comes on dates with us.
2. I work too much, so good luck finding a time to date.
3. You might not be able to keep up with me and think, this girl is nuts how the hell is she the energizer bunny.

Wsx2wsx2ws · Answer

Stupidizing hormonal brain wipe.
All the guesswork required by nonexperts pretending to be experts.
Advice from "expert" friends who never date.
4. the expense that could be set aside for a decent wedding.
5. the ego destruction that we take personally but really is just the inevitable meat grinder results of 2 very smart people reduced to idiots by hormones.
6. the aftermath of all they "Why do wo/men.."

Birdlegs · Answer

1. I will compliment myself a lot more than I’ll compliment a girl
2. I can be with someone all day and not say a word
3. My love language is physically fighting of course I don’t hurt her or anything but yea pillow fights, wrestling, slap boxing I want it all

wingattebaby16 · Answer

1). I have a high sex drive. Most guys cannot keep up with me, and then i need more and they cannot or will not satisfy me.

2). I can be a real bitch when i get mad. Lie to me and you get both barrels when i find out.

3). I am very jealous of my man.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

1.) I work a lot

2.) I don't like being vulnerable about anything and how I feel because that has been used against me in the past. Very closed off and reluctant.

3.) Very introverted. Don't like being a fucking chatterbox for everyone who dislikes silence. Draining as hell for me and makes me uncomfortable and feel awkward.

moonpie89 · Answer

I live a busy life so dates with me are spontaneous or planned in advance.
I'm interested in so many things that it can be hard to follow along
I have a huge family that I'm very close with so family obligations will always take priority early on.

ARWINGx1 · Answer

I don't exactly have a "top 3", as I only have 2 confirmed flaws:

My lack of emotions. As well as struggling to understand that (and in turn, I could inadvertently appear cold)

Selfishness. (at least that's what I've been told. I think it's related to the first one, as I could hurt one's feelings without noticing it.)

DizzyDesii · Answer

—Talks too much  —Considers order of priorities to be a big deal and will leave if yours aren't reasonable —Has baby fever but wouldn’t even have sex within less than 6 months of dating lmao

george201 · Answer

I suffer from anxiety and OCD sometimes i feel the need to be alone because of overthinking , i am so sad that may make my lovely baby think that i don't care...
I work on adapting with the situation , because i love her so much and can't imagine her feeling down
I will tell her what i feel and explain the seriousness of my condition because i know that she may judge me wrong

worldscolide · Answer

I'm honest to a fault, which means if she asks me how something looks on her, I will tell the truth no matter how bad it hurts.

I don't tolerate drug use or smoking, or alcohol abuse, period, and if she lies about it, it's a deal breaker.

I expect honesty. I'm a big boy, I can handle the truth.

Alex8736 · Answer

1. I'm brutally honest

2. It's not cool to complain about things your not willing to change unless it's an (extenuating circumstance)

3. If I'm supposed to meet someone at a certain agreed time then they should be there within no later than 10 minutes where I will leave and opt to my plan B

bepis_ · Answer

I'm obsessed with boobs.

I like boobies
I would wanna burry my face in your boobs
And hug your boobs and squeeze your boobs and kiss them
Kiss them a lot

Oh yeah Also I turn into a warewolf-like
human donkey on every new moon.

Brandi555 · Answer

1. My friends are really important to me and if you don’t get along with them it will be a problem b
2. I’m usually a positive person but occasionally I get in a bad place and I became depressed and not fun to be around.
3. I have trust issues. It takes me a long time before I really let anyone in. You have to be patient. But once I let you in I’ll do anything for you. Betray my trust and it’s gone forever.

Rizwan_khan · Answer

. I like to be in nature to date any girl instead of crowded place
. I m not welathy but earning person can't fullfill all demand.
. I like to listen but can't listen rubbish things. And like naughty minded girl but girl should be down to earth not a good digger.

Ghostluck · Answer

1: I'm not who you think I am. I attract submissive type women like crazy... they do nothing for me, like... at all.

2: I do not live up to your idea of what role I should be in a relationship. I am not going to be up your rear end 24/7. I have my own life, my own hobbies and I tolerate very little from people.

3: I'm a gamer and a car enthusiast.

4: I hate the Left as much as I do the Right. So unless you are a Centralist, you won't like me.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I'm clingy af. Meaning lots of physical contact, literally laying on you while we sleep.

I'm messy af (sorry).

I'll nag and bother you to go on adventures with me for my birthday. I start planning months prior.

MegaMachina · Answer

I vary between wanting a lot of affection and skin contact (hugs and such) to feel close, and wanting to be left alone quite often.

I'm quite lazy when it comes to stuff around the house.

I'm forgetful about the time.

weasley8 · Answer

1. I have trust issues, and take a while to open up.
2. I'm legally blind, so I can't drive.
3. I love to tell stories. Which some people like. But for people who don't like listening to stories, I can see why it would get annoying.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

- I won't recognize your clues and if I do, I'll pretend I did not- Between work and politics, I won't have much time for you- You'll have to do the talking and breaking the ice, because I often won't talk if there's no reason

IJhonnyI · Answer

1. I got big lips 😏 2. I will kiss you way too much 😙 3. i will keep you locked in my arms longer then you'd like😬🤦🏽‍♂️🤷🏽 $orry but what can I do  😂😅

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

I do not share my woman with any other man
She will not be able to "constantly" check / text on her phone while we are together on a date (unless it is an emergency, of course)
I get turned off sexually when i remove her panties and run into skid marks

Sixgunsound · Answer

I’m already married, which is not negotiable.

I already have kids, whom will always come first.

I can provide sources and references which meet academic standards of accuracy and reliability for most things I say.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

1. My penis is responsible for 4 fractured hips.

2. My bank account makes the Roman Catholic Church look broke.

3. My girlfriends don't take me home because they're afraid that their mothers will try to make a move on me.

LiyahPayne · Answer

1. I might always want to cuddle with you and want you to come over all the time.

2. I'll get jealous if you like others girls and feel like I'm not good enough, constantly asking if you love me out not

3. I'll get defensive in a argument and not apologize, I'll also stay mad at you a long time too

Lucy68 · Answer

1) I can be overly emotional 2) Whenever my depression and anxiety clash together it'll not be a good day and possibly night for anyone 3) I can be clingy

Smashingdoozy · Answer

I have BPD so I get very attached to people but at the same time will push them away.  I'm impulsive. I will go days without responding to your messages then pick back up as if nothing happened.

Chris_7565 · Answer

- I'm not particularly wealthy - I hate gossip and I can't stand listening to my partner talk trash about people on her phone all day. - I don't travel much

TallAnon · Answer

I like being inside, going outside just to walk around is boring to me.
I can be a bit messy, more so when it doesn't affect others.
I'm pretty dumb about certain topics, being subtle around me does not work, just tell me what you mean.

Nads111 · Answer

1. I'm introverted and need alone time. 2. Work a lot so can't give a lot of attention. 3. Not really good at showing affection.

NathanDavis · Answer

1.- I'm not 2.- looking to date 3.- at the moment

Rebecka33 · Answer

1-I already have a wating list so be a wait. 2-I'm shy in public and modest so I have hard time getting all mushy in front of others. 3-I guess there isn't a 3 with me.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I'm really annoying, I have bad hearing and even though me being crazy makes me fun, it's also the reason I'm always so fucking busy.

Anpu23 · Answer

I currently work three jobs is that three downsides? If not I also have a number of time intensive hobbies. And three I really don't like television or movies.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

1.) I'm not loaded with money but I have an income 2.) I have low self-esteem that I need to work on 3.) I tend to take up with girls who have issues

DonkeyDan · Answer

• I'm not here to financially support you. • I do not suffer fools gladly. • I'm a perfectionist, and I expect others to do things properly too.

Tschil200 · Answer

Attention deficiency  Completely useless in a supermarket  Will probably hate your grandparents for no reason

Leshen · Answer

1. I kiss whoever I'm with way too much 2. I crack way too many jokes 3. My sex drive is a pretty high

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I snore. I steal the duvet and will get violent if you try. I'm dramatic.

Panzer21 · Answer

Boring interests to outsiders My hair is starting to make the trip from my head to my back Must be left the fuck alone for long periods of time

DiegoO · Answer

1. I have a mobility problem, so I walk a certain way that may seem funny for some people. 2. I appreciate my privacy. My personal space is considerable.  3. I am stubborn

TallnBig · Answer

Asking you to brush my hair occasionally
Always wanting the place, room, car colder than you'd prefer and third that I can go to being a morning person or a night person so easily and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all

AviatorTom · Answer

1. I'm old 2. I'm in a serious relationship 3. I'm overweight

imfreeze95 · Answer

I have autism (High Functioning)
I have a obsession with books (I own 360)
I’m out of touch with my emotions (my last girlfriend didn’t know how to help me when I was sad because I didn’t know how to function emotionally either)

sasquatch111 · Answer

1. I'm really secretive and won't share my whole life with you.  2. I have a hard time being vulnerable unless I really, really trust you.  3. I'm a hardcore playful flirt that only flirts for fun.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I'm happily married I get distracted easily I tend to over analyze

fonduegirl · Answer

1. I'm moody. 2. I'm liberal, proabortion, prodivorce, nihilistic feminist (doesn't sit well with many 😐) 3. I'm too cute

Eroache69 · Answer

I have no self control with money/shopping I can't cook Too much lol

SkyCastle90 · Answer

1. Bipolar (Medicated/Therapy) 2. Stubborn 3. Very goofy/playful/affectionate.

What are the top 3 downsides to dating you?

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