My girl (18F) follows mostly hot guys on instagram?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys I really need your help please. So my girl (18F) really loves me a lot and she literally has done a lot of great actions for me, she always checks up on me, tells me how much she loves me and that she is lucky to have me plus she always supports me in everything. We have been talking and dating for like 6 months already and our sexual life is great.

(25M) I am working two jobs and just graduated from my college bachelors degree and always take care of her and being gentleman. I do have an instagram account too, but is just for my professional/work to show and get to know me more. I BARELY follow any girls I do not know and really have no pictures of me, just my work. However, I was checking through the people she follows and her ratio is that of more guys than girls and most of these guys are always like showing off their bodies including on their profile pic. I also hit the gym and im pretty jacked but not huge, I know what my value is and that none there guy can treat her as great as I treat her and respect her.

The issue here is that it kind of bothers me that she follows all these guys and that likes their pictures. Am I exaggerating this and seeing it as an insecurity of mine or is it really kind of not respectful from her to follow that many f*ckboys? Thanks!

[SeekingVirginWife]

Roastie toastie on her phone
Looking for a big bad bone
Swipping left and swipping right
Hoping to find fun tonight

Roastie Toastie feeling sad
Can't get no more dick from Chad
No beta will pay her rent
For Roastie Toastie's snatch is spent

Hit the wall at lightning speed
Thinking you had what you need
Coke and wine and BBC
But Roastie Toastie couldn't see

Now you look three times your age
Filled with Roastie Toastie rage
Has no drive she sits all day
Wishing she could go away

Roastie Toastie's no more good
Watching friends live life as would
Roastie Toastie feeling bad
Shoulda listened to your dad

No one wants her anymore
Roastie Toastie's just a whore
Can't have kids so get some cats
Fill your life with shoes and hats

She had goals and even dreams
All that died in her late teens
Now she's old and salt ensues
Blaming men is her excuse

Roastie Toastie looks around
Families and kids abound
Living life and having fun
Roastie Toastie's nearly done

Roastie Toastie no more thrills
She decides to get some pills
Two at most the label shows
But Roastie Toastie's time is close

[Asker]

im so confused haha

[HawkPerception]

I used to follow attractive girls throughout high school. It doesn't mean I'm not a faithful partner. It just means I was at a phase in my life where I was seeing everything and really learning to define my taste in women. I eventually deleted all those model accounts as years went by. If you're girlfriend is good, faithful and and gives you her time, that's all that should matter to you.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot man! Great answer

[HawkPerception]

if your girlfriend***

Just had to correct myself lol

[Graci_e]

You sound like a super sweet guy!

I completely understand not being okay with that. I would never be okay with my boyfriend following and liking girls pictures in that way. It would really upset me so you’re not alone in feeling that way. It’s pretty normal.

I would talk to her about it. Tell her that it hurts your feelings that she’s follows those guys and likes their pictures. Really explain how it makes you feel and that you’re super uncomfortable with it. After that, tell her you’d rather her remove them.

If she ends up removing them and understanding, that’s great. But if she doesn’t and this something you really can’t live with, then it might be best to part ways. Don’t lower your standards and get yourself hurt. There’s lots of nice girls around if she doesn’t turn out to be one.

[Graci_e]

Personally, I would never date a guy that watches porn, follows Instagram skanks or checks girls out. That’s the standards I hold for myself which are important to me.

If someone else is okay with that, it doesn’t mean you have to be. It’s a personal choice of morals and feelings.

Just because a lot of people accept that their partners do this, does not mean you have to. Stay true to the way you feel and don’t lower your standards just because it’s ‘normal’. It’s not and shouldn’t be normal.

[Asker]

Wow that is such a great answer Gracie, thank you so much I really appreciate that you can understand me. And just as you say, its standards because we value what we are, you seem like a great girl too. I think the best to do is what you said, need to tell her the truth and then I will notice if she is really into our relationship and cares about me or then I should just move on and find someone that gives me peace. Your maturity is amazing.

[Graci_e]

Thank you :)

I feel like most people feel the way we do. My sisters, my mum and most girls and grown women I know would never be okay with that. Sometimes people on the internet and their advice don’t always reflect real life. But I guess they are still real people out there somewhere.

But yes, I think that’s the best way to go. Value yourself, your standards and who you are. You deserve to feel safe, secure and understood in a relationship.

I hope it goes well when you talk to her! But if it doesn’t, that’s okay too - everything’s a learning lesson and at least you’ll know what you’ll want in your next relationship. Best wishes.

[Graci_e]

Thank you for mho

[HawkPerception]

I highly disagree with this answer though. You're 15 years old and as much as I don't judge someone by their age, I don't think you've had enough experience in life yet.

While communication is good, it comes across as being very insecure to ask the girl to remove all the guys she follows. Also, people have the tendency to not want to do things that people ask them to do, even if it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend also follows a lot of IG thots and it makes me uncomfortable but then again, as long as he’s loyal to me and not sliding in their DMs I would just close my eyes and look the other way.

I understand why you might feel uncomfortable, you want her to only have eyes for you right? But basically she’s just following a bunch of “celebrities” that she finds attractive. What matters is how she treats you. But, if you’re uncomfortable, it’s definitely okay for you to bring it up and talk to her about it.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot for your great response, I truly appreciate it. yeah its the fact that they are not even celebrities, I don't mind the celebs, they dont even know she exists probably lol, but the guys around town or acquaintances in school im talking about. I think I will bring it up soon, just do not want to look stalker or insecure, what would be the best way to approach it?

[Opinion Owner]

Ohh I see. If they’re people she actually knows irl then she’s probably only following them bc she knows them.

You can definitely start by telling her how you feel, something like “I feel uncomfortable bc I notice that you follow a lot of guys”. You can tell her that it’s not that you don’t trust her but it does makes you feel a little bit insecure or just uncomfortable. Just don’t make it sound like you’re accusing her of anything.

You also need to ask yourself and reflect so understand WHY you feel uncomfortable and what can you/she do to make you stop feeling that way.

[Asker]

Exactly the key is to not make her feel that she is guilty or anything. Really thanks a lot, I saw you said this happens to you too with your boyfriend with girls... did you ever tell him or just said f it?

[Opinion Owner]

No worries, I hope it helps!

I did talk to my boyfriend about it. I told him that it made me feel insecure (especially about my body) since he’s following these half naked girls with awesome bodies on IG. He reassured me that he loves my body and that I have nothing to worry about. I think he’s still following those girls but I decided not to just lurk or stalk his social media anymore so I wouldn’t know lol

[Asker]

That is great from him to reassure his love for you and tell you nothing to worry about. And also I need to do that im gonna stop stalking her followers its such a childish behavior from me that hurts , me

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, it is tempting but you usually only end up hurting yourself lol especially if you do trust your girlfriend and there’s nothing to worry about. Best of luck to you tho!

[jennifer_bloom]

Ask her why she follows them, they might be asking her to follow them and she might be agreeing to be polite because she does not know it bothers you.

[Asker]

thank you! I think the best thing is to talk about it with her

[Chris_7565]

It isn't necessarily evidence that she's cheating, but it is a red flag.
Red flags aren't innocent, and you should just take note of her propensity to give her attention to other guys online. Just remember that love is blind so keep your eyes open.

[Asker]

You are absolutely right Chris, thanks my man

[Chris_7565]

No problem. Good luck with her.

[WhitneySnow]

A lot of guys do this too. That doesn’t make it right though. You should tell her how you feel.

[Asker]

Thanks Witney, absolutely I need to find a decent way to tell her how it makes me feel

[WhitneySnow]

You’re welcome. Good luck.

[novin]

Relax bro, u don't get offended when she watches p0rn, why should u be offended when she looks at hot guys ps if she's not in to u, u just have to let her go (if she tries that is)

[Asker]

Yeah my man I think I need to relax a lot. Just past experience last relationship was very toxic so kind of had a negative impact still nowadays

[RuthlessAggression]

sounds like a jealousy move

she wants to see your reaction

She knows it bothers you, so she continues to do it

[bamesjond0069]

she's for the streets bro. Props on nailing a girl at 18 though. They are generally better quality than the older ladies.

[Zolly99999]

Nope. You are on point.. she is definitely interested in them and it's only a matter of time before she hooks up with one.

[hostboy__fastestlaps]

Call her a racist and tell her how obnoxiously and unconciously prejudiced she is against your race. She will turn her ass against you. Be a man

[hostboy__fastestlaps]

Or if all those bad boys happen to be your race, tell her how fetishizing she is of your race :))

[Guy13]

Ask her…

[Asker]

I think I eventually will soon but need to think how so I don't look insecure or stalker haha. But what's your general opinion?

[Guy13]

The fact that you care and are protective about your Status tiger echoes Man not boy. Be prepared to reach out to remaining girls you’re following etc. Basically, it’s contract negotiations and an ordering of Priority.
—lay it out…see how she reacts…what she does WITHOUT Spy CIA Freaking her-stalking…One chance to see who/what you’re dealing with as related to Maturity 🥳🥳🥳