Transgender people, do you lie about your biological sex while looking for a date?

[fonduegirl]

transphobic comments will be removed!

Yeah

Nope

Updates

+1 y

I wouldn't be violent if a person asked me out and later came out as trans. I'd be really upset and break up with them. It's pretty bad in India so I wouldn't go that far as to hit them.

[Kaneki05]

Them lying would be pointless, after all it's gonna be impossible to hide it forever and also might make you date someone transphobic which isn't good.

If someone lied to me about that and we kiss or something I would take them to court for sexual assault. If that don't work which it 100% should since I never gave consent to kissing a biological male I would get revenege somehow.
That's not transphobic that's called hurting someone who tried/did trick you into something uncomfortable and unconsented.

[KaylaD24]

I would somewhat agree with you personally i wouldn't take someone to court over it but that may because i have a bias seems im trans myself and can understand reasons why someone would hide it but yeah you would technically be within your right to take someone to court over it but yeah I get it id your looking for a women with a virgina then you are looking for a women with a virgina you are into what you are into nothing wrong with that.

[Kaneki05]

Tbh even if I was comfortable with it, the lie would still be enough for me to not trust the person. It's one thing keeping a secret for personal reasons or lying about something trivial (Meaning something that don't actually effect the other person), but then there is lying about something that involves and will effect the other person. Then on top that especially trying to form a relationship with.
If one is gonna lie or keep something secret at all certainly not the thing to do that with.

Be honest with people, you'll find someone who appreciates you that way, ain't gonna get any closer by one lying so it just makes a fool out of you and them.
And I am sure it could seem extreme or something to take one to court over it but it is them choosing not to say which means choosing to trick the person.
I don't want to make a comparison here because I feel like that would be hard to do without it been a bad comparison but safe to say I would do this to other situations were a person lied to me to get me into physical sexual/romantic nature.

[KaylaD24]

Yeah i get you i do think honesty is best and in my opinion if you need to lie about something like that probably not even ready for a relationship to begin with i can honestly see both sides of the argument but for sure it is definitely a shitty thing to do regardless of what reason you would have.

[Lliam]

If I spent time, energy and emotion on someone only to find out at some later point that she was a he, I'd be really pissed. If I touched or kissed a man who was posting as a woman, I'd be really, REALLY pissed.

I would never physically assault anyone, but I would probably throw a fit. I'd think they were a horrible person for pranking me. I'd probably out them if I had the means.

I don't care if someone is trans. I have two acquaintances who transitioned as adults. They are both really good people. But I have zero interest in any sexual contact with anyone who isn't 100% female.

"Trans"women need to figure out how to find people who are cool with the idea instead of trolling random men. The idea that once a guy gets to know you he will be cool when you reveal your true nature is absurd and dangerous. Right off the bat, you proved that you are a dishonest manipulator who has no ethical problem with fucking with people's lives.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, anon1903.

[KaylaD24]

I believe in honesty but i understand why you ve hesitant if you met someone ans the first thing you told them is essentially what's between your legs you still might get the shit kicked out of you it does happen but i do think its even more likely that will happen if you hide it and they find out the hard way.

[Guardian45]

Well-said. It happened to me, but 'she' told me upfront. I said 'Thank you & you're beautiful.' and walked back across the bar to my buddy.

[Anonymous]

I’m not trans but if I ever start dating a trans guy, I would expect him to be upfront about it.

[fonduegirl]

@roy_ricky09 they were irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I may not tell them straight off in conversation, but at least by halfway into a first date there is always a short discussion of "by the way, I was born male"... I never say I'm female, only that I'm a woman.

[Guardian45]

Upfront Truth is appreciated. It was by me.

[Opinion Owner]

@Guardian45 thing is, I don't go out of my way to hide it, but it doesn't define me. When you tell people straight away, the put EVERYTHING else you do, and everything else you are in that context. I'm more than my genitals, as are you, so why should I start a perfectly pleasant conversation with the very awkward "I have a dingaling"... That leads to either a) someone getting upset and walking away which can be really hurtful b) a really awkward "obligatory date" or c) me getting turned into just a sexual conquest... If I'm really lucky it's a simple "I don't care" but if I wait, at least we can have a pleasant dinner... The person will know before it matters.

Do you expect cispeople to discuss their genitals upon meeting them? Or do you enjoy the company until the topic arises?

[Guardian45]

Fair point. But the tgirl I fell for told me straight up. She said, "Hi, I'm Angie... a tgirl"

[Guardian45]

I was very grateful for that and I said: "Thank you. You're very beautiful!" And walked back across the bar to my buddy.

[Opinion Owner]

@Guardian45 Yep

[Blackcosmo]

I would be upset if someone kept something like that from me.

[Intothevoid666]

It seems morally wrong to lie about this sort of thing just saying. If people don’t want to date u for being trans that’s their right. People can’t control what they are attracted to or not

[SaartjieJane]

You meet someone, ask them if you can see photos of them as a toddler.

[Guardian45]

That's NOT ALWAYS definitive, but subtle tactic!

[MountAverage]

I doubt this is common. Why would trans people want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with a trans person, let alone risk a potentially dangerous (or at the very least highly unpleasant) confrontation?

[anton_dee]

I am a male but my opinion is they need to tell it out clearly they trans, else it'll cause issues later on.

[HighValue]

If they lie about it they should expect violence and possibly death from some of the normal people. They certainly should expect it from me if they tried to trick me like that.

[boggboss]

For me it would be a deal breaker if the person was not honest from the start

[boggboss]

Wait why did u send me this

[Table4YTwo]

I don't mind trans people but if you lie to me that hurts me, means you founded your entire side of the relationship on a lie and forced me to build my side around it.

[crmoore]

Not sure if this is solicited but I have a trans friend who doesn't support keeping it secret from potential dates.

[cootjuhh]

why would they lie? better be honest and let someone fall in love for the person you really want to be

[Sour-rose]

Pretty sure I'd be up front... at some point.
At some point. :)

[Guardian45]

Sooner would be better than later. Guys don't like being deceived.

[Sour-rose]

@Guardian45 I agree. <3

[Juxtapose]

If they do then they're looking to get killed. This is not a hateful comment, this is reality. I know several people who will actually shoot you if they pull down your pants and find a dick.

[JustiReno]

Yeah right, more like get shot by a tranny cuz she don’t have no pimp

[goodgirlsteven]

I have idiots questioning me all the time because I show my self as a man but i am all woman

[JustiReno]

Iono anyone I ever got wrong but sure I did. There was a woman sitting next to me on a flight with short hair, she got called sir by the flight attendant, if it’s questionable I try to be respectful and not be too nosy

[goodgirlsteven]

@JustiReno I have yet to know any transgender lie to meet anyone! its the first thing i annouce so not to fool anyone look at my bio I listed myself as a male! but im all woman

[JustiReno]

If I would guess by your hips and stomach I’d say you were born male gender no?

[goodgirlsteven]

@JustiReno yes

[JustiReno]

Ok all good I know someone who turned trans but he grew up in a very abusive household

[Jamesshinobi]

if they didmt tell me up front, and they still had a penis, they wouldn't still have it afterwards

[Guardian45]

With all the transphobia, that probably wouldn't be very smart.

[Anonymous]

Would you really want a relationship founded upon a lie? Seems unhealthy.

[fonduegirl]

I wouldn't. But abuse is never the answer.

[Nishant_kr]

Can I unvote it? I voted on this question accidentally. I'm straight

[fonduegirl]

Go ahead.

[fonduegirl]

I mean you can't but thanks for clarification

[Emilyis]

OMG What idiot would do that!!!

[Anonymous]

Why try to start a relationship based on a lie? It won't work out in the long run.

[Avicenna]

They’d have to be crazy to do that

[DavidRaul]

Wouldn't know. Never met a transgender

[WonderBell99]

@roy_ricky09 don't go around spreading hate. if you don't like trans people, keep your mouth shut and fuck the hell off

[WonderBell99]

@anon1903 it would be best if you block @roy_ricky09

[Agape93]

Hey bell, you're good as is your language.

[fonduegirl]

@WonderBell99 yeah you're fine

[WonderBell99]

@Agape93 @anon1903 thanks, guys! 🥰

[Agape93]

Anytime hon

[IsoUser]

To be perfectly honest who really cares?

[fonduegirl]

A guy around here said he'd punch transgender women for doing this

[Guardian45]

That guy is a homophobic F@$%EN idiot.

[IsoUser]

I perfectly see your point, but I am not or have ever been your quote " Homophobic " remarks

[KaylaD24]

@guardian45 you mean transphobic but yeah what a piece of shit

[IsoUser]

In any event who really cares? I know that I couldn't give a Rat's Ass about your opinions!

[Guardian45]

@IsoUser. Sorry. My comments were directed at @anon1903. comment.

[Ryfyle]

It's a hard thing to really hide or lie about.

[Agape93]

I'm not Trans

[fonduegirl]

Honesty I invited everyone on my follows list. Even I dunno how many of them can be trans.

[Agape93]

Fair enough lol

[Agape93]

Now I'm deleting it Roy, fuck off my post.

[Agape93]

Also not accepting your request. Fuck off.

[Agape93]

You've been reported for harassment.

[fonduegirl]

He's a moron

[Agape93]

I know

[Tstrbrainer]

Never dated one