What are some things men are insecure of?

[Goth_cat]

As in things that make you feel not good enough for people you're into?

[OpenClose]

LOVE this question. There are several I can bring up.

1. Modern masculinity feels like a constant race. Something you have to constantly "prove". A lot of times our masculinity/egos seem fragile because we feel we have a lot riding on this reputation. I feel like it is an ancient itch that used to be scratched by "Becoming a Man" rituals. I think this may be in part because of #2.

2. We feel we must be "needed" because it isn't enough to simply be "wanted". That is, we feel like if we don't perform an absolutely essential role that can't be performed by others, such as women, that we will be swiftly abandoned by society. For instance, I think this is the #1 reason men would feel insecure with a partner who makes more than he does. The Boys tackles this with Hughie and Starlight. GoodMenProject had a great piece on it here:
goodmenproject.com/.../

3. Continuing with the theme, a combination of media, upbringing, and perhaps some truth has me believing I am a member of the "Undesirable gender".
- Much of traditional dating revolves around the man doing the chasing, having to prove his value to a woman who has it intrinsically.
- An actress disrobes and smooth jazz starts playing. An actor disrobes and tubas start playing as the characters cover their eyes in disgust. Like, it's actually kinda nice seeing the "obligatory male shirtless scene" these days.
- The beach is the only place a man can be less covered than a woman. A red-carpet dress is see-through, shows some leg, plunging chestline, completely backless or strapless. Meanwhile the sexiest thing a man can wear involves covering himself head-to-toe.

4. I sometimes feel like I'm seen as a monster in waiting. People tend to stare at women uncomfortably. For men, people dart their gaze. I'm not scary I swear. I'm just big and tall.

5. Similar to #4, I feel like my sexuality is evil. I grew up with sisters annoyed by male attention. Taught that my desires were predatory, and the world would be better off if I were asexual. That I can't show my feelings because they are unwelcome and insulting. This is a common topic I bring up in therapy.

6. Hyper-agency. Men generally aren't seen as products of their environment. When we screw up, it's some fundamental flaw in who we are. Male insecurities are generally treated as our own pathetic immaturity, and not analyzed further to see where they originate. People have trouble seeing social pressures. They're starting to notice them coming from men, but pressures from women are a complete enigma to people, and they are often the most piercing.

[normalice]

Most of men's struggles with insecurity are rooted in our lack of physical power. Even the most muscled man out there knows if a tornado or earthquake abruptly hit his home, he wouldn't be able to keem himself or his family much safer than the average weakling could. We pretend the tiny strides in ability we make mean anything, because it's all most of us can do (offset in some cases by firepower - again useless against the elements), and it is true that compared to each other it means a little, but those are problems created for ourselves and don't fully count in objective reality.

What does help, however, is using the tools at our disposal to see things like that coming. And that's where intelligence comes in to play. Which is another thing men can be insecure about. Especially if they spent so much of their time working on physical dominance only to discover that striving for intellectual dominance would have been more useful in some cases. A main point of seeking dominance at all was to not have to rely on anyone and now they have to rely on someone to tell them when the application of strength is most effective? Not fair.

So, that's two things but there is a third. Charisma. This one is on the rise. You ever see a rich celebrity and think they don't do anything you couldn't do so why aren't you the rich celebrity instead of them? While it's true they possess neither more intelligence nor more strength than you, they do possess a great deal more charisma. This particularly effects men who tend to have a far more visceral desire for fame and fortune than women do. What need is there to inderstand a problem if you can just tell someone else to understand it for you? What need is there to build up strength if you can just tell someone else to lift things for you?

It sounds a bit like a video game, but there has become a bit of a rivalry between the strength, intellectual, and charismatic manoshperes. Charismatic people are most threatened by the intellectuals because they keep questioning the logic behind orders. Strong men are most threatened by charismatic people because their reluctance to accept logic as important leaves them vulnerable to scams. And intellectuals are most threatened by strong men because while you can hold in your head why it makes no sense for someone to be violent towards you, that won't really mean anything while they are doing it.

Anyway, hope that answers your question..

[Pinay_ako]

• The size of their u know what
• Their performance in bed
• Their height
• The size of their bank account and paychecks
• Their hairline if it’s receding
• if they’re providing enough for their family
• How mentally strong they are to be the head of the family or to be the man that the world expects them to be

Etc

[chris_987]

Is penis size a big deal to women

[Pinay_ako]

@chris_987 it’s the magic of the stick that matters

[chris_987]

But if you uses his tongue and fingers and you orgasm multiple times why would his penis still matter

[Pinay_ako]

@chris_987 Amen 🙏 😝

[chris_987]

Same with blowjobs if you're good at it the vagina is just a bonus

[OpenClose]

@chris_987 It's actually been shown to not matter that much. Both in aesthetic and performance. As long as it's "enough", you're generally good. I feel like if a guy is housing a firehose in his pants, girls will stare at his crotch for the same reason men will stare at cleavage. Not necessarily because it's appealing, but mostly just because that shit's making itself known.

Oddly enough, a giant pecker used to be seen as garish and humorous. They would often give dumb, comedic characters in plays a massive erect dick in the same way you might add clown nose. It's why old statues always have a Vienna sausage that doesn't even hang lower than the eggbasket.

[Chazmatazz269]

I think the most common issues are income and earnings potential, height, and hair, probably in that order. Something women who CLAIM they’re oppressed absolutely refuse to admit is that capitalism relies 100% on heterosexual women’s expectations. If women didn’t demand so much income and earnings potential from their potential mates, men would NOT work as hard as they do at anything, let alone jobs they hate and jobs that kill us at crazy high rates compared to most female dominated careers and industries. Literally everything would fall apart in less than a generation if women truly appreciated men for their character rather than their resources.

[lucas262]

Never had a girlfriend, never been on a date, I have ptsd from my childhood, I have adhd,
I was homeschooled, I'm somewhat socially awkward. I work a blue collar job, I at least 20 or 30 lbs overweight, live with my mom at 27, and didn't pursue my dreams early in my 20s.

All of that is mostly on me and I accept my responsibility to change all that and the good news is all of that can be treated or fixed and iv made real progress.

But that is why I feel insecure, i go to a gym, I'll be owning a business, I'll be moving into a place with my friend, and will pursue professional help with my mental health but I still feel socially inept, and still feel any woman should be with someone with a less complicated background and offers her more in the future.

[Dalton69]

Cheer up dude. Get into shape, save your money, build a business, be yourself, and women will be a given.

[lucas262]

thanks That's the plan, things going good so far.

[Lionman95]

I think it's mostly physical attributes like height, but also the feeling of not being attractive, being not strong or not having strong muscles...
But it could also be character attributes like being shy, afraid of being too vulnerable, not being respected and acknowledged.
It's the general fear of not being seen as a man.
I think it's generally the feeling of being inadequate and not taken seriously.

[jhl_x]

Career, money and resources. I feel like shit when trying to date because I still live with my parents.

At some point, I could also mention physical and sexual experience, and also the size down there, but the stuff I mentioned above matter way more to even get to a stage this intimate.

[CloudMassacre]

I haven’t really touched people much or been touched much, so it’s always kind of overwhelming when someone even has their hand on my knee, like I just can’t think and I just feel really inadequate. Like the thought of someone sitting right beside me touching my side makes me feel kind of nervous. So overall I just sort of feel pathetic being so wigged out over simple contact, and I just don’t want to burden someone who would have to be super patient.

[Goth_cat]

Hey dont worry about it so much , if you don't mind can i ask whether you feel this way when anyone touches you or is it more like when someone you're interested in is touching you?

[CloudMassacre]

Anybody. Like hugs feel intense to me

[Slartybartfast]

Yeah, after a decade or so without ever touching another person my friends wife gave me a hug.

It was. Like being hit with a taser. That was two years ago and I still feel it.

[humanearth]

I used to have insecurities about my facial looks. I believed that I had the ugly duckling syndrome

Teenager I was a goofy nerdy mess, as I got older, I believe I got sexier and more handsome as I aged.

There is rarely a day don't by without some lady making a pass at me. Back In high school, no one wouldn't even talk to me

[TheSpaceGnome]

There are some men who will be insecure about penis size unless they are breaking a world record for size. It's like women and their boobs, even the well endowed are sitting there thinking they need to be bigger.

I personally don't have any insecurities.

[GreatnessBack]

"I personally don't have any insecurities."

That's the most insecure thing to say. lol.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@GreatnessBack I recommend the dictionary. It can be very helpful.

[dragoblack]

Where should I start? Biggest one is penis size, & fear of being looked down upon because of the porn he looks at &the fetishes he enjoys, then looks, job, & financial, not being able to keep enjoying his favorite hobbies, then going from basic to more deep rooted like fear of abandonment, lack of loyalty, not being in control, fear of change, not being able to keep up with society, mommy issues, past abuse, parental neglect, being ostracised, social abuse, & feeling like an idiot.

[Therisinghero12]

I have trouble being vulnerable with the people I care about, and I worry it makes people think I don't care or don't want them around, working to be better at expressing myself.
I'm very content with what I have, and feels like a lot of people want an ambitious partner, but really I just want a quiet life and to share the things I love with somebody, sometimes I get into my head about it.
Less insecure about myself physically but I am of smaller build and have bad teeth Dx

[MCheetah]

Height
Penis size
Income

Weight and race are some additional ones, but those above are the big three. Women are mostly to "blame" for it, if you wanna call it that.

[aliiiek]

Hi i invite you to my question thank you

[MCheetah]

@aliiiek
"But mcheetah give people wrong information"
"he tries so hard to enforce his insecurity to other men"

I don't need you to insult me and talk shit to me, and my height, and then have you expect me to follow you. Yes I know you where you got that new chart from. It doesn't mean anything to actual real women and actual reality. You're entitled to think whatever you want, but it doesn't change my actual reality and constant rejection on the matter.

So you can kindly piss off, thanks.

[aliiiek]

Ok , i apologize , the saw the chart in incel wiki , about height pill , i don't get it why you think a inch less then 6 is a big deal , even height pill incel are not saying that

[aliiiek]

"I saw the chart "

[MCheetah]

@aliiiek
I've seen it. Hell, they've stolen most of my own research. They just twisted around to downplay manlets as being desirable.
https://incels.wiki/w/Height
https://incels.wiki/w/Heightpill
The thing you fail to realize is, my issue with being short - 180 cm - has little to do with women. That is only one factor involving it. You assume this is all about women, not that actual women want a man same height or shorter than them, anyway.

[aliiiek]

Yeh i totally get that , most of movie stars are above 6 foot

[glennos89]

Their height if they are small, their dick size probably because of all these gigantic dicks you see in porn movies, being friendzoned..

[goodgirlsteven]

Their cocks, there either too small, too thin, bent, wrong shade of color or somethiong is always wrong! guys if your woman loves you she'll accept however it is or she dumps you on the spot! but if she's still with you be grateful.

[domenico07]

I’m not insecure of anything, I don’t live to make others happy. I live for myself. I work blue collar and have been for over 2 years, and I have food on the table and can pay my bills on time. I’m content

[TheBootyChest]

That i don't have my shit together, or that they are prettier or better dressed than I am.

[Wubs3000]

In the looks department, im def not in the same "league" as my boyfriend but it worked out so doesn't matter

[DrewJay]

Nope not going do thos question 😂🤣 this is bait or just asking for trouble. 🤣😂

[truthisthree]

not much anymore

I feel to good for most women on the earth,

most women are lost and have no idea what is really going on,

so even if they are pretty.

if they do not know the truth

they are a waste of time

[pass_the_celery98]

Lack of physical strength
Knowledge on subjects
Sex in the bedroom with a female
Dick size
His wealth/what he has

[kdarknesss]

Money
🍆 size
Hight
All the stuff mainstream women complain about

[CallmeTheKnight]

I'm insecure about no longer receiving reciprocation