He asked me to split the check at our first meeting over dinner (we’re coworkers, but it was a date). He asked me on another date. Is he not serious?

[Anonymous]

Okay not the biggest deal ever but isn’t a guy splitting a check with a girl at dinner a sign he’s not serious about her? It seemed a little cheap to me and also he went shopping at high end stores today so I know he has money. He’s also my coworker. He told me he never dates coworkers but I’m an exception. He seemed into me a LOT and even asked me to dinner for this week. Should I excuse this and not make a huge deal about it or move on and find other men?

Updates

+1 y

MCheetah sorry for triggering you so much. Sincerely sorry.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

"He asked me on another date. "

Might not signify "serious", but at the least still signifies interest in getting to know you on a personal level more.. One date in is a little too soon to determine if you want to be serious with someone...

And what's the big deal, about splitting the bill? Takes the whole indebted/or ridiculous expectations off the table...

One date in, and you're talking about the money he spent on himself? Sorry, one date in doesn't entitle you to a man's money... In my opinion, noone should ever feel entitled to someone else's money🤷🏼‍♀️

Are you interested in him? Or the money he'll spend on you?

[dynamicyandere]

Don’t make a big deal about it. That’s just how he does things when it comes to dates. I remember wanting to pay for a girl’s lunch and she insisted that she pay her own share, so I let her. Different people feel differently about this, both girls and guys.


If you really want to be with a guy that pays for everything, there are guys who are willing to do that. But, it’s not something that you should expect out of someone—just something you appreciate. Like, don’t expect a guy to open doors for you or pull out chairs for you, but appreciate it when it happens.


Every guy likes a girl that shows appreciation. No guy likes a girl that acts entitled.

[OlderAndWiser]

From what I hear, some girls get mad if a guy tries to pck up the tab. How is a guy supposed to know what to do?

[MCheetah]

A guy should talk about this beforehand.

If it was me, I always agree to something cheap or light for the first date, like a coffee shop. Preferably someplace with little food, if any.

The big date at a restaurant should come second or third and by then, you should know if she's an equal or just wants a rich guy to buy her free crap (regarding women under 40, I guess).

But let's assume it's the second or third date and nothing was discussed. I'd tell her over the phone or via text, that I only go Dutch on dates, because I need to make sure I'm with someone who won't use or abuse me. If she at all gets offended by me wanting to protect myself, she either had bad intentions from the start, or is not worth my time, regardless.

But yeah, in short, discuss the payment options before either of you have even left the house.

[Avicenna]

@MCheetah: 100% correct

[Texaskid1]

@MCheetah I second that.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

He asked you on another date. What are you confused about? Splitting the bill on a first date isn't cheap. It's probably the best way to do it. Not sure why you're focused on that instead of being asked on a second date.

[MCheetah]

Because she's not looking for love or romance. She's looking for free sh*t and possibly emotional validation. And then will try to shame men who don't simp their way into her blessing.

[RavVid]

Hmmh. I don't know about other guys but I would pay the first date as indication of my interest. At least after the first 50 dates, I would expect co-contributions.
As a coworker are you on the same pay scale?

Major Q. Are you into him? Or is it he is into you and you're going along with it?

Splitting the check is not as important as that last Q. This is in the work place so don't if he doesn't make you so wet you have to change your panties.

[irmaavila301]

He either is cheap, broke or just not that into you. I agree that the guy not offering to pay on the first date is a bad sign.

[MCheetah]

See fellas, THIS is the type of woman you want to avoid! Right here!

[irmaavila301]

Lol thank you

[Honesttguy]

@MCheetah why go on dinner date, first date should be tea or coffe and that doesn't cost much to buy for girl.

[Jamie05rhs]

@asker can you tell me who you are, please? So I can block you.

[Anonymous]

On a first date, regardless of who asks whom, I expect the woman to pay her half. If she doesn't, or if she does but judges me negatively for it and won't go on a second date, she has done me a favor by showing her true colors early so I won't have to waste any more time on her than necessary.

It's appalling that whether or not a woman should pay her share on a date is even still a question in 2022. The hypocrisy and entitlement of some modern women is boundless.

[MikeInHawaii]

I’d take a non-sexist view that whoever made the invitation should pick up the check. I’ve had women ask me to buy them drinks, before. I find that incredibly rude and presumptuous.

[MCheetah]

Except women always expect the man to ask them out. Like I said in another post, this is something mostly only men under 40 can understand. Older guys don't get how so many women are out to use men as ATMs and how we live in "The Future is Female" future times, now. Women don't get to be "Doctors, CEOs, and World Leaders" while still expecting men to simp and bribe their way into their heart/pants, at the same time.

[MikeInHawaii]

@MCheetah I’m way past 40, but understood I was an ATM in my 20’s. I was cussed out and called names by a woman when I said I don’t buy drinks. I got sick and tired in college of hearing women, who would knock down a UGA linebacker if he was in the way of a keg, say someone got them drunk. I make sure I have no responsibility for getting anyone drunk.

[Texaskid1]

I have never understood American women's obsession that men pay for everything.

Men are not ATM's. That is one of the things I like about many foreign women, they expect each person to pay for their own shit.

[MTC29]

I would pay, but my thinking is considered to be outdated: "Okay, Boomer."

Splitting the check on a first date not ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

That's equality 😁 Don't think too much into it, he still likes you if he wants to go on a date with you again. He wouldn't waste his time on you if he didn't like you.

I heard girls get mad when the guy tries to pay the full thing, or the guy getting mad when the girl tries to pay it all..

It's just doesn't make sense. So the logical choice is to split the bill until you are a couple, then it doesn't matter who pays for it anymore, because you are "one".

[Honesttguy]

Why did he ask you out on dinner date, why not say hey lets go for coffee tea instead cus its cheaper

[whiskeyontherocks]

The person asking should pay in my opinion..


That said there’s to many stories of men getting taken advantage of for me to be surprised about this.
Simply he’s putting up boundaries and making sure you value his time not his wallet.

[bamesjond0069]

Probably because you're a coworker. I pay for dates when i date a girl who is a cashier or waitress or college student. there's no need to me to pay if i date a doctor. Get it? And y'all are coworkers soooo...

[Avicenna]

It probably means that since you are co-workers, he sees you as an equal

[Anonymous]

Women have spent so much time screaming about being independent, wanting to be treated equal... until they are...

I would bet money on this not ending well... ironic...

[LazerBean]

If you want a traditional man, move on. If you want a progressive man, I guess he's that.

[Shy_Steve]

He still might be serious, If he decided to split the check with you it means he thinks of you like an equal so he might be even more interested than you might think.

[Iron_Man]

Who says it’s a date I think you guys are just work buddies most men don’t split a bill on the first date unless he’s real feminine type of a guy or either that real cheap

[OddBeMe]

We guys are contantly trying mot to seem over eager. Thts drilled into us. So I’d imagine he wanted to seem nonchalant by slpitting check. So yes he's interested, nervous, likes you. Go for it!

[Straight2thepoint]

If u can't split the check u are showing bad signs. It's not that he is cheap or broke. It's that he doesn't want to be used.

[maximumpower]

Dating a coworker? "Danger, Will Robinson!!!"
You are clearly hung up on money.
If it bothers you, do him a huge favor and move on.

[notwoke]

femimism asked for this. Now your equal. Congrats

[Guy13]

Guess he’s plain stupid…

[Guy13]

Don’t you want to rush right into being an owned asset expected to contribute 50% on everything in the name of Relationship 🎉… sounds awesome being appreciated so. Some Guys are so stupid…he would have been better off staying home…