We have been going out about a year, and she would constantly apologize and she told me that friends and exes would get mad at her for how much she complained. I really thought it was just people being assholes, and told her that if she ever needed to vent or anything that it was fine.
Nearly every time we would go out or hang out, something would happen. She she would have back problems, feel sick, have friend/family drama, or anxiety attacks. And these things were normally bad enough to ruin the night and normally ended in me having to comfort her. Over the last 2 months she has been very sick due to poor diet/lifestyle and she has had to go to the emergency room 5 times in the last 2 months. We went out for a short day a couple weeks ago and it left her in such bad shape that we had to go straight home because of how much pain she was in.
She has apologized for complaining so much lately, but the thing is…. I don’t know how to tell her that “yes, this is a major problem” because she obviously doesn’t want this and telling her that would just be kicking her while she is down. She doesn’t deal with feedback like this well, she will cry, have an anxiety attack and then get even worse. She once had a night ending anxiety attack because she thought she stained one of her favorite pieces of clothing. But I have found that I have lost almost all attraction for her, because most of my time is just spent trying to comfort her. We aren’t in a relationship, I am just her caregiver.
Her friends also seem to have pulled away, and her family causes a lot of stress. So I am her only support…and it’s killing me because I struggle too, but I have to put on a brave face for her since the issues are nearly constant. I just don’t know what to do?
Nearly every time we would go out or hang out, something would happen. She she would have back problems, feel sick, have friend/family drama, or anxiety attacks. And these things were normally bad enough to ruin the night and normally ended in me having to comfort her. Over the last 2 months she has been very sick due to poor diet/lifestyle and she has had to go to the emergency room 5 times in the last 2 months. We went out for a short day a couple weeks ago and it left her in such bad shape that we had to go straight home because of how much pain she was in.
She has apologized for complaining so much lately, but the thing is…. I don’t know how to tell her that “yes, this is a major problem” because she obviously doesn’t want this and telling her that would just be kicking her while she is down. She doesn’t deal with feedback like this well, she will cry, have an anxiety attack and then get even worse. She once had a night ending anxiety attack because she thought she stained one of her favorite pieces of clothing. But I have found that I have lost almost all attraction for her, because most of my time is just spent trying to comfort her. We aren’t in a relationship, I am just her caregiver.
Her friends also seem to have pulled away, and her family causes a lot of stress. So I am her only support…and it’s killing me because I struggle too, but I have to put on a brave face for her since the issues are nearly constant. I just don’t know what to do?
