We have been going out for over a year. Initially things were great, she would apologize for complaining too much, saying that people would chastise her for it. I assured her that she could come to me for anything. But I have realized that she complains or has something wrong 90% of the time.
I try to be really patient with her, she deals with a lot. She has a bad home life, she is constantly sick or injured, she has depression and anxiety. I have tried to be a good influence, trying to be gentle about my feedback but honest. She will text me that she looks disgusting out of no where, she will put herself down. And I have stopped trying to react to that, the most I will say is “don’t say things like that, you aren’t.” It is exhausting. And she always has a negative outlook on everything. I try to be very healthy, which is something we agreed to do together when we first started dating, but she has been sick or injured due to her unhealthy habits for most of the last year. She has put on a considerable amount of weight and her health is affecting her work because of how much she has had to miss.
She is constantly telling me that I am the only person who doesn’t get mad at her for complaining or her anxiety. The thing is, I am at my wits’ end. But because she says stuff like that, it feels like I can never give her honest feedback without proving her right. Literally any thing I do, she says “no one has ever done this for me before” and it makes me feel horrible knowing how unhappy I am but how happy I am making her.
It feels like she is putting me up on this impossible pedestal, that I can’t possibly live up to and is just making the potential fall so much worse. She needs to change and be healthier in order for this relationship to last, and I don’t know how to tell her that without proving her point of everyone getting angry at her and making her even worse?
I try to be really patient with her, she deals with a lot. She has a bad home life, she is constantly sick or injured, she has depression and anxiety. I have tried to be a good influence, trying to be gentle about my feedback but honest. She will text me that she looks disgusting out of no where, she will put herself down. And I have stopped trying to react to that, the most I will say is “don’t say things like that, you aren’t.” It is exhausting. And she always has a negative outlook on everything. I try to be very healthy, which is something we agreed to do together when we first started dating, but she has been sick or injured due to her unhealthy habits for most of the last year. She has put on a considerable amount of weight and her health is affecting her work because of how much she has had to miss.
She is constantly telling me that I am the only person who doesn’t get mad at her for complaining or her anxiety. The thing is, I am at my wits’ end. But because she says stuff like that, it feels like I can never give her honest feedback without proving her right. Literally any thing I do, she says “no one has ever done this for me before” and it makes me feel horrible knowing how unhappy I am but how happy I am making her.
It feels like she is putting me up on this impossible pedestal, that I can’t possibly live up to and is just making the potential fall so much worse. She needs to change and be healthier in order for this relationship to last, and I don’t know how to tell her that without proving her point of everyone getting angry at her and making her even worse?
