Gals, how afraid are you of telling guys “no”?

[OddBeMe]

This guy asked a girl out, she declined nicely and he dismembered her. He was also a creepy stalker POS, which is rare.

Pretty afraid

Its been fine

[Anonymous]

Yes, the world has violent, murderous people in it. But hide behind that to say you can't tell a guy "no" you're afraid of getting murdered you're two things,

1. You're an idiot who thinks that's actually likely. like the stupid girls who ask someone they just met "are you gonna murder me?"

2. You're an idiot that thinks no one can see through you using this as an excuse to be a coward of what you're really afraid of: any kind of in person confrontation at all.

It's not hard to figure out if you're around women enough. They rather go behind peoples backs gossiping hide do anything but be upfront. they do it to other women, they do it to men hell I've seen them do it to their own kids. It's all games and manipulation and avoiding reality but the truth is the more you run from the facts the harder it hurts when they catch up to you and the more you spoil yourself with never having to do anything difficult the more of a weak person you build yourself into. sure it's hard to say no to people but if you never learn to do it will always be scary. and not because anyone is going to kill you for doing it

[Subarugirl]

You're more likely to be killed by car than a shark... yet people's fear of sharks are validated when it's a 1 in 1.9 million chance but when a women talks about her fear of being attacked by a man is called paranoid when the chances of being sexually assaulted as a woman is 1 in 4...

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl That's an excellent point. I agree about the sharks, which is why I have no issue with them, swim in the ocean frequently, and will gladly snorkel or dive with sharks.

Of course, the 1 in 1.9 million chance is a lot higher for me, since I actually go in the ocean. The 1.9 million includes everyone on the planet, the vast majority of which don't go in the ocean ever in their lives, or more than a once in great while. Many people don't even know how to swim. So perhaps my odds are a bit higher.

Taking this over to the sexual assault statistics, the numbers are similar for men (1 in 4 for men, 1 in 5 for women, according to https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics ) Also from those same statistics, we see that 91.9% of the rape incidents women experience are from someone they know. To be specific, not from someone who asked for their number and they said "no". From their intimate partner (51.1%) or from an acquaintance (the other 40.8%).

Not to dismiss your point entirely, I agree that women are on edge when it comes to worrying about violence. But it's interesting to note that men are also experiencing a lot of violence, sexual and otherwise, yet there is a marked difference in the reactions and adjustments to behavior.

[Exterminatore]

@both of you

The thing with sharks is, if the entire population lived near the coast and went swimming in chest deep water or higher regularly, those shark attack stats would be a lot higher.

It would be shocking for people who live in Indiana and swam in the ocean once in their life to be attacked. Chances are much higher for the surfer and scuba diver.

Certainly these sharks didn’t mind the taste of human flesh even if it’s not in their natural diet:

www.smithsonianmag.com/.../

[Subarugirl]

@Exterminatore thanks for proving my point

[Exterminatore]

@Subaru

I’m strictly talking about sharks.

[Subarugirl]

@Exterminatore lol I know

[Smegskull]

Humans are pretty bad a instinctively making statistically sound decisions.
We tend to mistake sample fame for sample quantity. A few famouse stories about kidnappings and no child can walk to the park any more. A few famouse stories about serial killers and every woman has pepper spray or a tazer in her purse. A few famouse stories about false accusation and no man will be without a backup witness. A few famous stories about illegitimate children and every man wants a DNA test at birth.

[Aerissa_Jade]

There have been many times, such as in a club or bar, where a guy will wait until I'm in a more enclosed area, then ask me and when I say no, he keeps insisting but if I try to leave he blocks my exit and gets more pushy, sometimes he'll try to negotiate like he is making a sale, what are you issues lets work through them on why you don't want me, or bribery or threats.

Not interested means walk away and leave me alone and let me leave.

I can't say I'm afraid of all guys but some guys yes.

[Xoxocutekitty]

There are reasons why most women try to meet in public first (AND when they break up). Saying no isn't a big deal until he doesn't listen right? But you can't know if he won't listen until he's presented with rejection. It's a catch 22.

Obviously most men are normal, but they say you only have to parachute uncmsuccessfully once...

[OddBeMe]

Yeah, good parachute point.

[Exterminatore]

Women don’t say “no.” They make excuses, break dates, and say things in a round about and not a direct way.

The only time they say “no” was after the fact. Like when they had a train run on them and they don’t want everyone knowing what a slut they are. Then it is “I said no your honor” as they give false rape testimony to protect their reputation.

I get it. There are real psychopaths out there who will commit violence for being rejected. These people are disgusting.

I just want us all to be honest in admitting women are never direct and to the point when turning a guy down or ending a relationship.

[SkyeSymes]

I mean this guy had some serious phycological damage too tho, He had stole her key to her apartment to steal underwear which he made a mask out of for sexual fantasy He also used to video her through her window and sneak in when she was asleep the only reason he killed her was because he got caught while inside so panicked and took action, Dismembered her body and got caught when a live news outlet released to him that they had found the body in the suitcase and he had a panic attack which was a weird reaction,

This wasn't for the fact she said "no" this was the fact this guy was a crazy murderer sex addict who went to far in his way's.

[Bellona]

I am completely not scared of saying no to guys because I am probably not friends with them thus it is easier for me to say no to people I do not care for or that I do not have a relationship. I can be quite judgmental and mistrusting of guys (because of the history of guys' behaviour) asking without knowing them because I have high standards and asking without knowing them would straight away not make my standards as I do not like desperate guys.

[hayley2008]

If I'm not interested in a guy, I try to be as rude as possible when I tell him no. I've read before that guys don't take hints, you have to be direct, and if it makes them think I'm a bitch and lose interest in me, that's cool too.

If it's someone I know or wasn't expecting to start going in that direction then it's harder to deal with and that can be pretty scary, like if it's a guy I thought was a friend or an adult who suddenly starts making sexual comments. In that case I have to try and let him down carefully because it's usually someone I still have to see around.

[melanieeeB]

Mostly no, I'm not afraid but only once I had a guy where I was afraid to say no again, I did say no but he didn't take no for an answer and then I gave him my Facebook (I don't use it) so he would let me go.
A year later he, probably by accident, found out where I worked and started stalked me, it stopped after I quit the job

[TransAm85]

I grew up w/a narcissistic mother. I leaned into being very co-dependent but she taught me a few good things, like "never depend on a man" she drilled in my head, so I've always been hostile towards the opposite sex. I used to keep a box cutter in my purse! I am submissive to my now husband, but he respects me. Guys that try overpowering women and raping them and all that stalking have other issues they need addressed.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I saw that interview. He played worried friend until he got caught and then it just went 'no...' so weird.
I am not afraid to tell guys no. Guys I rejected were either the usual creep who is just horny, you tell them no and they leave. The other group are just acquaintances and friends.

I don't let anyone get too close, I am very selective with my friends and I don't stay out too late so less chance of running into a creature of the night.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not afraid at all, that being said I try to be nice when I reject someone.

It’s something my brother taught me, he told me I should always try to be nice with guys I reject, so I don’t hurt their feelings.

[OddBeMe]

Yeah, i always suggest “slow ghosting” letting the guy get bored with you.

[LazerBean]

Not at all. And besides, everybody around here knows everybody else and owns 1 guns. It keeps the fear of God in the hearts of criminals.

[Metelda]

being rude while saying is no is dangerous he might be a pshycopath and ruin ur life. what i do is simply say i have a boyfrnd. and send a picture of mine wd my male frnd or my cousin brother. that's safer that way..

[Autember]

I mean I've never been scared to tell someone I'm not interested, but then I hear stories like that and think maybe I should be scared. I'm never mean about rejecting someone but you never know how they will take it.

[TryMeBee]

I decided years ago that if something's gonna happen, then I can be scared when it does. I don't need to be scared beforehand too.

[OddBeMe]

Thats exactly what the girl in my true crime doc said too :)

[TryMeBee]

Hah! Nice

[Horse-girl]

I really don't like saying no to people, it's quite uncomfortable to see that you can have such an impact on how they feel. So if I am going to reject someone I do it as gently as possible.

[TrueConfection]

I had a stalker when I was 19. I was very afraid. I ended up moving out of town because I was afraid of him.

[alice55]

If the guy is a coworker I search an excuse to refuse him and if he's a stranger I say no and walk away.

[Anonymous]

I hate that this is something women have to worry about. Too many men who can't handle being spoken to like adults and feel entitled to women. I don't blame women for being afraid at all.

I'll second what @Fuentes said.

[MzAsh]

Not afraid. Men need to get used to hearing. And women need to get used to saying it.

[Anonymous]

The example you gave is like asking if people are afraid to go outside for fear of being struck by lightning. I've never had any problem and I don't worry about it.

[Stoner710]

Shoot me a comment when women actually answer the question. Like hey get your ass over here

[Literalbillionaire17]

I will tell a man no in a heart beat. However if I feel like the guy isn’t going to take it well then I just avoid if I can.

[Agent_Elflord]

Geez, a simple “alright, have a good day!” Should suffice. Dismembering someone seems like such a waste of time and energy.

[ChefPapiChulo]

There are no women on GaG so take the pink accounts with a grain of salt. They’re either weird incels like the guy in the pic or just weird incels.

[Fuentes]

I hope he gets dismembered in prison & a weight dropped on his throat.

[baserunner611]

Tell your true feel, not your freinds or your mother but yourself true feeling don't sent muili answers one answer

[AsaKyo]

I don't really like telling people "no", but I know it has to be done sometimes.

[Pinay_ako]

Depends on who it is…

[Jltakk]

A bit extreme. It's like being scared a woman is going to "Bobbitt" you in bed if you don't give in to her demands.

[Subarugirl]

Except this kind of things happens a lot more than it should

[Snakeyes7]

Statistically speaking, they shouldn't be afraid to.

[Subarugirl]

statistically speaking 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted... I think its a valid concern

[Snakeyes7]

@Subarugirl Even if we assume the following:

- The definition of sexual assault means what it should: the intentional nonconsensual touching of the body specifically in areas deemed sexualized like the nether region or the breasts or the act of having sex with the knowledge that it was done without consent (rape).

- None of these are false positives or at least cases that weren't proven to be true.

- None of the perpetrators of these cases were women

Or

- All of the perpetrators of these cases are different men

TLDR: these stats weren't manipulated for the explicit purpose of scaring women like you into abject fear of your fellow human beings.

How is this still not sexism? If it is wrong to live in fear of black people if the stat where "despite making up 13% of the US population, African Americans commit half of the total crime" (probably misquoted but it doesn't matter) is true, how can you rationalize being afraid of men citing this static?

I'm too much of an individualist to make sense of the logic of being fearful or even hateful of an entire group of people based on biological characteristics just because an example of one of them doing a bad thing (what the asker did) or being presented a statistic that makes no specification that the group in question is responsible but it is assumed they are as well as other assumptions that do not get addressed.

[Anonymous]

My dad hits me if I refuse anything

[Putriz]

No thank you.

[Joker_]

lol‎‎

[EarthRealm]

Agreed