Said he needed to disappear for a few weeks to work on himself, that he just needed some time because he can't get a level head. Should I be worried?

[jaclyn_faith02]

He's a Marine who got stationed in another state for 3 months, and we've been dating for about three weeks now. I responded by letting him know I was here if he needed me, and he made sure to let me know that he wasn't going away forever, he just needed a few weeks. I've only had one other relationship, and this scared me a little.

Updates

+1 y

well... you guys were right. there was another girl

[DoctorSex]

He's having issues with letting people in. It sounds to me like a man who's struggling to come to terms with "blood on his hands" and believes if you see him how he sees himself, you'd view him differently. This would hurt him deeply.

Your best course of action is to confront the elephant In the room. Here's how you can skillfully do it.

Have a conversation with him telling him asking for his help. In that conversation tell him that you actually have some dark parts that you believe he may not love if he sees. However you want to be open and have someone critique you, because the only way you can deal with your insecurities is if you can face them head on. Don't explain the "dark parts".

Now Go quiet and see how he receives that...

Then conclude with something on the lines of,

The only way he'll be able to assess if you can be loved because of your "dark parts", Is by way of seeing each other with regular orderly intervals. Suggest a defined pattern of engagement, whether that's every Wednesday or every other Wednesday. Ask for his help in this process. Have a defined length of time and end date for this assessment period. After which point youd like his conclusion on whether you can be loved. If he concludes that you cannot, he is free to find someone who can be loved. But it's important to you that he gives you the opportunity to have regular and frequent interactions so that he can assess properly.

This strategy will firstly help take the pressure of him feeling judged. It will also give him a coping strategy to deal with his own insecurities.

Lastly it will probably end in you both growing closer together because face it, you're a lovable person.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Truthatanycost]

All young men should prioritize their life purpose and self development over relationships at that age. It's possible on a subconscious level he's realizing this. This means he will keep on vanishing every now and then until he realizes it consciously.

[Avicenna]

You should be concerned about his mental health after hearing that, especially with him being in the military

[jaclyn_faith02]

I am concerned, but I made sure to tell him that if he needed to talk, I was here to listen. Honestly I think he's overwhelmed with how close we had gotten because this is his first time attempting a relationship since he signed a year ago.

[Avicenna]

That's possible. But check on him in a couple of weeks if you don't hear from him

[jaclyn_faith02]

I definitely will. Thank you

[Avicenna]

No problem!

[TheMajesticKing777]

I always believed that if you need a break from a person then it wasn't meant to be, you can't take a break from a marriage but I don't think you'll be able to change his mind on this

[TheSpaceGnome]

Huge red flag, good matches make it easier to think clearly.

[Anonymous]

I would be worried, but what choice do you have. You have to let him go.

[Iron_Man]

That’s just an excuse for being dumped don’t believe that