Isn't it painful to die all alone without family?

[Haha456]

imagine you are a senior citizen without any immediate family. you never married, never had kids. You lived alone throughout your entire life. Now you are 65 and ridden with life threatening diseases which puts you into the hospital a lot. Nobody ever comes to visit you. You might get 1 distant relative visits you once a year since she lives in another state. When you need help with household chores, you have nobody to turn to. Sometimes you sit in your apartment for weeks without a friend to talk to. there's nobody that you can trust that cares for you. Nobody ever asks if you are doing well except your doctor. When Christmas / Thanksgiving time comes, everyone is rushing home to enjoy a delicious meal with their families. But you haven't had anyone wait for you to come home to Christmas dinner in 20 years. You can't remember the last time you've received a gift from anyone for Christmas. When you die, you are pretty sure that nobody will attend your funeral.

[FunkyMonkee]

Except for the disease part, I don't have to imagine.

[single850]

Yes i think.

[jennifer_bloom]

I’m not alone, I have God, I have the angels, I have my brothers and sisters on earth and in heaven and I have my dead family who are alive in heaven and watching the whole kingdom among us.

[Anonymous]

you never married, never had kids.

That the plan

ridden with life threatening diseases which puts you into the hospital a lot.

Yeah that's gonna happen

When you need help with household chores, you have nobody to turn to.

I'll hire people for all that

Sometimes you sit in your apartment for weeks without a friend to talk to.

Already used to that

When Christmas / Thanksgiving time comes, everyone is rushing home to enjoy a delicious meal with their families. But you haven't had anyone wait for you to come home to Christmas dinner in 20 years.

I can cook for myself and finish up drinking myself into a stupor

You can't remember the last time you've received a gift from anyone for Christmas.

Hence I always buy myself presents

When you die, you are pretty sure that nobody will attend your funeral.

Don't want some sad 'Eleanor Rigby' affair, I'll red most myself or cremate myself in a firebomb once I take an overdose of whatever medication I'm on or on a time delay after I shoot myself

Not at all quite freeing to not burden people with it all, hell I'm the end of my family name and don't really care to carry it on as much as my family hate that revelation

[Chazmatazz269]

Not if you’ve lived that way for a long time already. The hard part for older people is when their immediate friends and family start dying all around them. That support system that they DO have falls apart. If you’ve already lived that way for decades, i wouldn’t expect dying that way to be any more scary or painful. In fact, it might be a welcomed relief.
If the thought distresses you, you can volunteer at a retirement community to help brighten some old timers’ days. My sister used to take her kids trick or treating in old folks homes. She said it’s absolutely wonderful for the kids and the elders.

[Haha456]

Statistics actually show single people tend to die earlier than married people. Social isolation and loneliness is likely the cause.

[Chazmatazz269]

You should learn to cite sources when you suggest that “statistics show” something. Here’s why:

www.unmarried.org/.../

The author of this article selected a frequently misrepresented study on the subject at hand and explains how poorly the facts were disseminated in the media. So if’n you’re quoting articles that don’t cite their sources, and not finding reliable and responsible sources of information to support what they’re suggesting, you’re opening yourself up to rightful criticisms, especially if you decide to agree with obviously unfounded assertions.

[Haha456]

Single people may die younger, new study finds

In real numbers, “under the worse-case scenario,” single men could die about eight to 17 years earlier than their married male friends, says Roelfs, citing that nearly all of the data was gleaned from studies conducted in the last 60 years. Women don't fare much better. They could die seven to 15 years earlier than their married female counterparts.

www.nbcnews.com/.../single-people-may-die-younger-new-study-finds-flna1c9456587

[Haha456]

Marriage Tied to Longer Life Span, New Data Shows

www.webmd.com/.../marriage-tied-to-longer-life-span-new-data-shows

[Chazmatazz269]

That’s interesting stuff. There’s an argument on this topic that suggests men benefit more from marriage via longevity because married men live longer while single women live longer. Now i’m curious if that’s also been misrepresented or if it’s just a dated model.

[Haha456]

Loneliness can be deadly: this according to former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, among others, who has stressed the significant health threat. Loneliness has been estimated to shorten a person's life by 15 years, equivalent in impact to being obese or smoking 15 cigarettes per day.

blogs.scientificamerican.com/.../

That doesn't mean that folks who happily live alone are completely off the hook, however. In fact, the study found that people who lived alone had a 32 percent higher risk of an earlier death than those who lived with another person.

www.webmd.com/.../could-loneliness-shorten-a-life

[Haha456]

This is why I am trying to get married while I am still young. I have no intentions of cutting my life short by doing alone lonely and neglected. Companionship is important to me.

[Haha456]

This is why I am trying to get married while I am still young. I have no intentions of cutting my life short by dying*** alone lonely and neglected. Companionship is important to me.

[Chazmatazz269]

Unfortunately absent from statistics that suggest having a partner is better than happily living alone is whether or not THAT partner makes THAT person happy. I’d rather die sooner having been happy than be miserable to live longer. You know why divorce is so expensive? Because you get what you pay for and it’s worth the price to be HAPPY! Ell oh ell!

[Chazmatazz269]

Also, getting married for selfish reasons guarantees failure. No exceptions. If your primary goal isn’t to contribute to another person’s happiness and well-being, the marriage won’t last. Guaranteed.

[Haha456]

living with a spouse that you get along with, means you have someone to care for you, someone to talk to you , someone to keep you from being lonely, someone to eat at cafes and resturants with, go on vacation with.

this is why single people tend to die earlier than married people.

I would be happy marrying a decent man that I am not in love with. Someone I get along with and adore. You're gonna be the one who would die earlier, not me.

[Haha456]

I'm going for an arraigned marriage right now.

[Chazmatazz269]

Very interesting! So any if any partnership is adequate, why not live with family or close friends. Or do you believe you can learn to love anyone and love is still the goal?

[Haha456]

because as you get older, your parents will die. your siblings will get married and have their own kids. they will forget and won't care about you. if you break your leg and cannot work to pay rent, your siblings are not gonna help you pay the bills. if you need their care, they will say " i need to pick up my son from school. my husband needs me for this... i need to cook for my kids". You are not a priority to anyone. And when your brother's family goes on vacation, they don't ask their uncles or aunts to tag along. They set vacation date based on the work schedules of mom / dad and the kids. They don't care if you come along or not. Sometimes they straight out do not want you to come along with them. On Christmas or thanskgiving, you would usually be celebrating alone while other people are crowding around huge dinner tables with turkeys, ham, feasting and laughing together. When they get old, they have grown children checking up on them, calling them, paying for their nurse. On the other hand, nobody checks up on you or care whether you live or die.

who do you think will be happier in life?

[Haha456]

your friends do not care for you the same way a wife or family does. And frequently even family such as siblings tend to gravitate away from you and build their own families after they get married. and its not uncommon for siblings to move thousands of miles away too.

[Chazmatazz269]

That’s a morbid view, i think. Not entirely untrue for westerners, but i think there are cultures that behave differently regarding family living, elder care, and community. Getting old doesn’t necessarily mean loneliness and loneliness doesn’t necessarily mean dying young or even younger. You have to remember that all the best statistics are still averages and means. Very little of the human experience comes with any form of guarantee.

[Haha456]

Exceptions don't make the rule. The rule is: married people tend to have longer lives.

[Haha456]

Married people are SIGNIFICANTLY more likely to have better health and longer lifespan into elderly years

[Chazmatazz269]

Ell oh ell! Again, that doesn’t account for the difference between happy marriages and miserable ones. The rule doesn’t exist without the exceptions. You need parameters for definition. Ell oh ell!
You jump into a marriage out of fear and desperation like you’re displaying in this post, and you will definitely die younger than you hope. No need to respond again. You’ve clearly made up your mind. There’s no quantity or quality of evidence anyone could submit that you would accept.

[Haha456]

The study says that people who live with a spouse regardless of the state of their marriages tend to live longer lives. And the explanation was "social isolation" does a lot of damage.

A marriage does not need to be flawless to be considered "happy". There are always gonna be miserable fights, arguments, maybe one spouse is frustrated about the lack of sex. Maybe passion has gone downhill over the past 15 years. It does not mean they are miserable. They are old and content with themselves and their own state of life. Mediocre dull marriages are still better than being single.

[Haha456]

[You jump into a marriage out of fear and desperation like you’re displaying in this post, and you will definitely die younger than you hope. No need to respond again. You’ve clearly made up your mind. There’s no quantity or quality of evidence anyone could submit that you would accept.]

I want to get into an arrainged marriage because right now that I am single. I never eat out at the resturants I want because I have nobody to eat with. I have enough money to go to vacation in florida but I don't have any friends who are interested in also going to florida. I have two friends and none of them are interested in going there. So over the past few years, I have never went to florida. I am not gonna go on vacation every year all by myself, talking to myself in florida. Going places with someone who you can talk to and enjoy things with, makes an entire world of a difference.

Currently I work too much overtime during holidays because I don't have family to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving with. While my coworkers are taking off work on holidays because they want to stay home to spend time eating Thanksgiving/ Christmas feast with their kids and husbands, I am busy working their shifts at the hospital. I get jealous because they have people who love them dearly and wait for them to come home, open presents with. I didn't get any gifts for Christmas last year. I didn't eat Thanksgiving dinner with anyone last year either.

is this the type of life I want to live forever? NO.

I want to have people who love me, have fun with me, go places with me, someone to take care of me once i get old.

[Haha456]

Having someone to care for you, enjoy restaurants with you, enjoy vacations with you, join adventures with you and creating memories is something that MONEY CAN'T BUY.

[exitseven]

My wife does home health visits and sees this all the time. Cops tell stories all the time about sometimes people die and nobody bothers to check on them and finally somebody complains about the smell and the cops come and break in and find the body. It is really sad but it happens a lot. I know all my neighbors because we have all lived here for 20-40 years but there are people I see walking in the neighborhod that I have no idea who they are. There is not real sense of community anymore.

[Anonymous]

Everybody dies alone regardless. Think about it. The best thing anyone can do is understand the body, health, and all of the ways of staying healthy that are hidden. The best way of ending up as you described is to buy into the current health system and not understand all of the 'miracle' treatments that are out there.

I know people that have family... but their children have disowned them, partners have died or left and they are still alone. The best currency, and the only thing you truly have is your health.

[Haha456]

Statistics actually show single people tend to die earlier than married people.

[Opinion Owner]

But if it showed the opposite, what Government, or society would even dare state the truth? All statistics can be made to reflect what's best, or deemed best for society / Government. It's the same with everything.

[Haha456]

Because lonely socially isolated people tend to die earlier

[Opinion Owner]

I'm saying that if a study found out the opposite, do you really think you would ever hear about it?

[Haha456]

there will be no studies that show loneliness increases lifespan

[Haha456]

Loneliness can be lethal: It has the same impact on longevity as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and also increases the risk for high blood pressure and obesity.

psychosomatic.org/.../

[Mia-Wallace]

That's my greatest fear and it will never happen.

I already have a big extended family who are close to each other. I will also have my own children and grandchildren.

When I get old, I'll spend my time with kids somewhere. I also hope to die before my husband with him holding my hand as I pass.

[andreasderjuengere]

You forgot to mention: nobody molests you with affections that aren't ''requested''.

More important than ''family'' -to me- is good neighbourhood, and one or two friends. Constant babbling isn't a requirement for my life - and so I'd maybe feel a little bored; but not lonely - I have myself :)

[Anonymous]

Most people who are all alone typically chose that life. Conversely if you're a 100 years. Old and everyone you have ever known closely has passed on. No, it's not tragic. I still carry the love of all I have known and loved. Death cannot diminish that!

Death is something that everyone faces alone.

[Haha456]

Statistics actually show single people tend to die earlier than married people. Social isolation and loneliness is likely the cause.

[Midgetmcwidget]

The title seems directed as someone. Why?

Everyone is different, it’s better to b alone than in bad company

[Haha456]

Statistics actually show single people tend to die earlier than married people.

[NamerOfStars]

Sounds like it'd be worse to LIVE that way, but that's just my opinion.

[Phoenix98]

That’s my worst fear aside from having no family or legacy of my own the thought of it actually scares me.

[Smallboobsgotohell]

No u can flirt with nurses and marry one of them if lucky

[zagor]

At 65 most people can still take care of themselves fine and have another 20 years to live.

[Haha456]

its more so social isolation, lack of love / comfort, lack of inclusion that kills above all. Studies have shown that single folks tend to live shorter lives.

[goodgirlsteven]

No one can answer this, but i would assume so. gosh a lot of the questions today are making me sad.

[Anonymous]

Honey if you think old, dying people have family visiting them or who care you’ve never worked in healthcare. That shit is RARE.

[fred_durst]

depend on person , some find it is painful , some find it is not

[Anonymous]

what happened to you? you were number 1 men basher on this site and now you lost that title

[Haha456]

I only bash misogynists, not real men.

[FilmGuy93]

I imagine it would be, but I've never died

[barn_stormer]

that's my future