My boyfriend said he wanted me to gain weight. what should I do?

[Anonymous]

[OlderAndWiser]

You are already overweight. If he wants you to be MORE overweight, that seems like perhaps it would possibly alleviate insecurities that he may have but be unhealthy for you. He does not have YOUR best interest in his heart; he just wants you to serve him and his needs. Ready for a lifetime of that?

This is called a warning sign. Pay attention to it. . . or don't, but there will be consequences.

[Gopnik]

Especially this young, 15 is very young to even be in a relationship. This should be a major red flag to break it off

[OlderAndWiser]

@Gopnik Precisely!

[Rania05]

Don't! I'm not obsessed with weight loss and diet, I just do it every 2-3 years to get rid of some kilograms and that may not even reach a dozen because I'm just a little wandering between average and a little chubby, but I wouldn't want add weight to myself even if I had THOSE urges and suppress them if I can.

Grandma: "You're too thin, darling. How about some cookies? I made your favorite soup tonight."

Me : "I don't like those cookies, just left it to my cousin she sounds like she wants it much more than me. Aww! Thanks you, granny for making the soup serve me two or even three servings please! Also I'm not thin, just look at my belly fat, thighs and upper arms! I'm suitable for another kilogram~ I'm not abusing myself either." While smiling sweetly.

[WonderBell99]

You are overweight and it would be extremely unhealthy for you to gain more weight. You need to focus on losing some weight and try to get healthier. Obesity can cause severe health problems in the future, like arthritis, chronic back pain, heart diseases, colon cancer, high blood pressure etc.

Romantic relationships, especially, teenage ones do not last for long. If it does, it is pretty rare. You will be the one to fight a losing battle if you do get sick. Your boyfriend does not seem to be a good man, he does not have your best interest at heart. If he did, he would not push you into gaining more weight.

You have to talk to your parents and enroll in a gym and start working out. Also, I would suggest you break up with him.

[Fireguy17]

Do what you want to do.
Gaining weight, depending on how much can be unhealthy.
Your clothes won't fit, and depending on how much you gain your shoes, rings may no longer fit.
Ask him why he wants you to gain weight.
My guess is that he is insecure about the fact that you are very pretty and that others will want you and take you away.
So if you gain weight you will no longer be as attractive so others won't be attracted to you.
This can be the possible start of abuse.
It can escalate from there, possibly.
Myself, I would not gain weight for someone.
The older you get the harder it is to lose it.

[Pinay_ako]

You need a new boyfriend. You can lose weight to be healthy FOR YOURSELF. Not for anyone else. Hugs. To answer your question, LEAVE HIM.

[MysteriousDarkness]

He could be a lipophiliac. Lipophiliacs can be rhapsodic and highly aroused about fatness, roundness, softness, and large size of their partner's bodies, and, as well, the "folds" of fat (pannus) of their partners' bodies. Lipophiliacs may also of course be attracted to many of the fat people they encounter in every day settings and situations toward whom they experience significant attraction by virtue of these persons' fatness, size, roundness, and softness.

He could be a feeder which is someo e who feeds another person large amounts of food for the soul purpose of gaining weight. They don't care about your health.

With all that said I say put him out to the curb like trash for pick up.

[Anonymous]

Well I take it your boyfriend (who is a teenager too I hope) isn’t thinking very clearly. He has no right to tell you to gain or lose weight. Also if you already naturally thin be happy. When you get older you will likely naturally thicken up a bit. Either way don’t gain weight just for him. That’s ridiculous.

Anyway if I wanted past gfs to get in better shape I would never flat out say it. Instead I would encourage them to accompany to the gym or to go on hikes/walks. Yes it is dropping a hint but it’s done so lovingly and productively.

Also I think more women over the years have gotten better at asking the loaded question “do you think I look fat”. It always puts the guy in awkward position.

[Blackcosmo]

Absolutely not! If that's not what you want then you cannot allow him to influence you like that. First of all you don't seem to be in the best shape already and he wants you even bigger which is so unhealthy. He does not care about your health if he's asking you to gain weight. I personally think you shouldn't listen to him. In fact just dump him.

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

Sounds abusive. Usually, people who say this to their partner do so in order to look conventionally unattractive weight wise so they can control them more and have them lessen their motivation to maintain their boundaries or even leave if needed.

Be careful or better yet, run.

[VIVANT]

Do not lose or gain weight for anyone in this world but yourself, your body will never be yours ever again. Even once you make adjustments the memory won’t fade. It’s a terrible feeling to have drastic body changes outside of your control. Don’t do it. Unless you have some personal heath reason to be gaining or losing weight, you should focus on getting into a healthy lifestyle —which does not include randomly gaining or losing weight on someone rises whim.

[CelticCrusader]

Unless you are unhealthily thin or have an eating dissorder the answer is no. he's asking you to negativly effect your bodies health and if he wants you to be overweight to me that sounds like a damn good reason to dump him. Its a selfish request to ask you're girlfriend to get fat and hurt her bodily health. I say drop him like a sack of rotten potatoes.

[2Wheels]

In my own opinion I would highly sugggest not listening to him.
Don't let him control you or guilt you into doing things that you don't feel 100% completely comfortable doing.

If anything he should be encouraging you in a loving way to get healthier NOT more unhealthy.
To me that's just a super big red flag. 🚩

Please do what YOU want with YOUR body. Don't let him make it about him.

He. Does. Not. Own. You.

[Beatrix7]

to be honest girl you should make that desition on your own only u can look inside ure head and self and make that desision doll but to me a wouldn't let someone to be someone i dont want to ad walk away but thats got to be your desision ma dear sit nd think will you be happy chubby or are you happy the way u are dont let anyone change who u are girl

[glennos89]

Tell him to find another girl that is more his preferred weight!

I would say that it would be very unwise if you gain weight just for his satisfaction. Why? Because you are likely going to regret that descision if the relationship doesn't end well.

Never let anybody change you! They should accept you the way you are!

[U4ea0]

Your boyfriend is a fool and you would do well to tell him no. Fat is bad for you and leads to many health problems. Losing weight is considerably harder than gaining it, especially for women. Plus very few men like fat girls. You're going to hate yourself for gaining wait and then he dumps you shortly after.

[Emiliamazing]

Older and wiser has great advice. You’re far too young to have a weight problem. You need to have enough self-respect to take care of yourself and tell whoever you’re in a relationship with that they are not in charge of your body

[faithgrace4u]

Heck nah dump him idc if you dont get a other boyfriend one will come soon enough but this ones toxic he should love who you are not who he wants you to be God loves who you are so don't change yourself for a guy

[Lynn2001]

Sounds like he has a fat fetish. It’s one things if he is okay with your size but wanting you be that big is crazy. You are already overweight, you don’t need to gain more weight. He is toxic for you. This is unhealthy.

[Barry88]

You should make your own decision, but the fact that you're asking this question on this platform shows you have doubts. And in case of doubt: don't do it. Do such things only if you want it, because it has effect on your body and your health.

[slatyb]

Get a new boyfriend. That's a completely unreasonable request and it's damaging to your long-term health. If that's you in the photo, you should be trying to lose weight.

[dustybiker]

This is an early controlling flag. Walk away.

[Cherry234]

He sounds like a chubby chaser. If he's forcing you to gain more weight and you don't want to then dump him.

[TransAm85]

He's looking for a gordita to be at his beck and call! Men like that are insecure, controlling, and abusive. Dump him now! Don't change urself for anyone else but u!

[hIopinionated_]

He wants you to be unhealthy. He should actually be encouraging you to be the opposite. Maybe he isn’t the best guy for you. .