What to do when I can’t move on so fast?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my boyfriend of a few months a couple of days ago. While we were on a break last month I unexpectedly met guy B.

Guy B is lovely (from what I know so far), but he's rushing things. I guess it’s because he likes me and he's trying very hard to impress me. We’re going on a date next week and he’s already told his family he’s seeing someone.

I think I’m lucky to have met him but I’m still very heartbroken about my ex. There is no chance of us ever getting back together but I’m finding it really hard to date right now. I don’t know what to do because I don’t wanna miss out on a great guy like guy B. But I’m not ready to move on yet.

What should I do?

[RealMarek]

If guy B is the one, then you should explain the situation to him transparently. Assure him he has a chance with you and that you feel lucky he is interested in you, but you need to take things very slowly at the moment. It’s only been two days since a break-up. Your readiness could very well be much improved after a month or a few months. I don’t know how long it will take but your relationship with guy A was not all that long so it’s not going to take years. If guy B isn’t understanding of that or if he’s so impatient he just wants to get with a girl in general vs. being with you in particular, or gets frustrated, then you will have learned something important about him. And if he is understanding when a lot of guys would not be, you would learn that he has some level of maturity.

[Asker]

Thank you, that's the best advice I've heard.

[RealMarek]

You’re welcome. When it comes to relationships, I think honest communication done in a kind way is always the best policy. Let me know how it goes. I hope he listens and is understanding. Fingers crossed!

[Asker]

Thank you! I hope so too lol

[glennos89]

Only time can heal those wounds. If you're unlucky it takes lots of time 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Asker]

True...

[glennos89]

Hope for you it will go away soon so that you can move on into a new relationship

[Asker]

Thanks. I hope so too.

[PeteBy]

If guy B feels the way about you that you suggest, he'll wait until you're ready. Discuss it with him. You don't have to go into too much detail as to why. If he cares for you then he'll wait but at least make him aware that you do have feelings for him and can you just take it slow. If I was guy B I'd wait. You seem a lovely person.

[Asker]

Thank you!! That's exactly what I need. I am interested but I want to take things slow. I also think it's not fair on him that I am going into this with some negative feelings from my past relationship.

[20yearsolder]

What's the rush? Take your time and get your emotions in check. Don't jump back into another relationship. Explain to the new guy that you just need some time to work out your feelings. When you're ready, he'll be available as long as you're honest with him

[Asker]

Okay that's reassuring

[LazerBean]

Just because he told his family that he went on a couple of dates with someone does not mean he is rushing things, I think for most people who have a healthy relationship with their family that's just what you do. But if you are not ready to be in a relationship with someone, then you shouldn't be going on dates.

[Mark987]

You need to take your time. Whatever your gut instinct tells you is usually right. You just group with Guy A.. and you could be on the rebound just to be with someone even if he is a pure gentleman etc. Take time for yourself first and figure it out

[Bklynbadboy12]

Take your time don't let him or anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. Tell him to slow down and be patient with you tell him to let things take a more natural progression and to remember that you just came out of a relationship and your heart is still broken

[Waldoe]

it will take time to process, so take a break... or... there is an "Old Saying"... "in order to get over a man, get Under a "new" man... up to you...

[Asker]

I am a virgin lol

[Waldoe]

I was not specifically talking about SEX... so try this... "in order to get over a man, get a new" man... up to you...

[Asker]

Alright thanks

[Still-alive]

Get into your hobbies more... or get into a new hobby. its helps distract your mind from that stuff

[Asker]

Exactly. I want to take time to spend by myself doing the things I enjoy.. I dont want to be in a relationship right now.

[Still-alive]

alrigght... be honest though are you actually attracted to guy B? if not you should do the big girl thing and let him know you are not interested... otherwise he may just keep trying to pursue you. just being frank with you. rip the band aid off now before he gets worse

[Asker]

He's everything I've ever wanted in a guy, I just haven't healed yet.

[Still-alive]

ok... does he know that? he may get impatient especially if you don't tell him things

[Asker]

No. He doesn't even know I just got out of a relationship. I don't want to tell him because he will probably leave me if he knew.

[Still-alive]

ehhh well... he's likely gonna keep texting/calling you and trying to get you to go out with him more.

[Asker]

Oh dear

[swettannie]

Be honest with him, tell him you need to do it slowly

[Asker]

I’m scared it’s going to push him away

[swettannie]

It can only be worse for you if you push yourself if you're not ready

[Asker]

Thank you, that's true

[swettannie]

You're welcome

[Guy13]

What’s the problem…. He’s gone and you’re going. Sounds like we have arrived at Went

[Wade12345]

Give guy B a chance.

If that doesn't work out, give me a chance. lol.

[belle_kai]

Don't do it if you're not ready.

[nona776]

Give him a chance maybe things will be better

[Jouth]

make a smoothie