Why is it easier for a guy to get over a breakup?

Question

JamesDiaz11 · Accepted Answer

I don't know if there is any generality in your experience... When I broke up (she broke up with me) with my last ex, I let her stay with me for several months, rent free. When she moved out I left the house so she (and her parents) would have an entire day to clear her things out- I also bought her boxes to make the move easier. I gave her any piece of furniture she wanted, and our cat (which I loved a lot), AND, the things she forgot I made sure to let her come get them. I also paid for a doctors visit for her, and a dental cleaning, because I knew she was moving out of state and her insurance would be iffy.

I didn't block her, because she was still attached to me emotionally, and with everything that was going on she called me to talk/ vent several times a week. I thought she may have changed her mind, but to cope I started to see other people. I'll add she made it clear we would not be getting back together- there was no "I need time," that was ambiguous.

Finally, months later, after she moved out of state, and took me off social media I was having so many nightmares, and getting so messed up with sex addiction (I hooked up with dozens of girls) and substance abuse that I wanted to kill myself, I asked her to block me- which she did (no reluctance- just easy peasy). I realized later that I asked this on what would have been our 4-year anniversary. Even though I have a couple houses (that I rent out), I moved in with my parents temporarily (I sold the house my ex and I lived in together). One day I looked around the house for the guns I know my dad has, because I wanted to die.

I volunteered to fight in Ukraine (Foreign Legion), because I wanted to die with some dignity, but I was never called up- even as a former Marine with combat experience.

If it wasn't for meeting my current girlfriend a week later I absolutely would have killed myself. I still get really sad, and wish I was dead; so, I don't think breaking up is "easier for a guy."

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t say that umbrella statement is always the case.

But, maybe it’s the outcome of social conditioning.

For example, one may make the claim that men, on average, handle rejection better than women, on average.

The reason why that is, isn’t because of the way a man is born vs the way a woman is born. It would simply be a matter of men going through rejection more often than women if men are often the ones doing the approaching. It’s simply a matter of having more practice. How many men approach women vs how many women approach men?

And when it comes to getting over a break up, this might be another one of those social conditioning things. That being men are not encouraged to be vulnerable or showing any sign of “weakness” so to speak. Boys and men are told all their lives to “man up” if something bad or painful is happening in their lives. And, if that’s something they pick up on and learn how to do, then they will be better at knowing how to “man up” after a break up because they’ve been taught to do that all their lives.

Again, it’s more about practice and experience with dealing with something rather than something hard-coded into their gender.

DaveJord · Answer

So my exwife of 20 years didn't give me my stuff back either, real bitch right? She was a completely different person then said she was or would be... was super immature and childish.

I think its is easier for guys as well. Men in general are more physical creatures then emotional. So they are more physical in their love language and are excited by almost any women that returns that physical affirmation. But its not always as easy as that. Yes we can achieve closure and rebound quicker, but we are less likely to fully develop lasting emotional bounds and entee into serious commitment.

At the end of the day any healthy guy that jas been out there dating women from age of 16 on has been rejected by tons of women and emotional devastating at least once. Trust me guys meet with rejection 9 out of 10 times... and even then 1 in 10 is still a good sucess rate for most guys. So we deal with rejection or have experienced ot 10 time as much as most women. So we are just more experienced with failure and we rebound faster. We almost expect it and sense it coming so start planning our escape before its official.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly I don’t think it’s that we get over the relationship faster. If he does than chances are he really wasn’t that into you. But as a man growing up we’re taught to shut up, move on, stop crying because the world is going to continue on w out you. W most women like my sisters they were babied, told it was ok to cry. But if I cried man my mom said stop crying you’re a boy, boys don’t cry. So did my uncles, grandma. So we may still be hurting inside but we keep going no matter what. No we don’t block you cause we’re cowards, we block you because that’s part of moving on. Or maybe we’re just disgusted w you so better to block you. Most women cry about it for a long time, whining about it on social media whereas most of us men just keep going while trying to deal w it internally.

LaneHale42 · Answer

I agree with the other poster here who said that the person who gets over the relationship the quickest (Male or female) is generally the one that was checked out before it actually ended. They've been setting up their options and planning their next move. The other poor person is blind-sided and in shock, feeling abandoned.

zagor · Answer

It ISN'T. Actual studies have shown that MEN have a harder time letting go. And the guy you were with was just a dick. Don't generalize.

TroyDT · Answer

If it is he wasn't into the girl. Usually it is women who have it easier if both were into the relationship simply because, again in general, women keep their support system of friends while men tend to shed theirs while in relationships.

Migz09 · Answer

To be honest it’s not that they get over it quick depends on how good relationship was I mean I know some friends who even after the breakup talk about their ex and they won’t see anyone for very long time. Men do feel it same as girl it’s just after a while the guy becomes numb and doesn’t care anymore

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Not easy for me to get over a breakup and I feel bad for guys who dump girls.

chicosuave · Answer

Umm that's not true. A girl can find a guy in a heartbeat and get over him quick. I took 1 year to get over my ex

AviatorTom · Answer

Maybe because there are more women than men in the world... more to choose from.

Anonymous · Answer

I say if they got over a relationship pretty quickly they had already checked out long before they left

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You are joking, right? You are only saying this because you are post-wall and getting pumped-dumped. In your 20's I bet you went through men like tissue paper.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Who said that it's easier for us to overcome a break up especially if the girl was the one who initiate it...

Googlemyahoo · Answer

I don’t think its any easier they just internalize their emotions

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Day 1 : f*ck that bitch... Let's live a little Day 60 : I wish she could take me back

Guardian45 · Answer

Who said that? Maybe for some guys, but I DON'T bounce back that quick. For example, I was 8 years between GFs.

Vegasrunner · Answer

It's much harder for guys especially basic ones.

Hulk30 · Answer

most men go into sexual relationships wantin sex where as most women go into sexual relationships wantin commitments and relationships

maximumpower · Answer

Apparently, yes. Most guys don't obsess over it and tend to move on.

Anonymous · Answer

I kind of feel like this isn't just a hypothetical question. 🤣

Anonymous · Answer

It isn't. We feel everything that you do, most just do a better job at hiding it.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

because never really cared

Noodle_fan · Answer

i think they are just better at hiding it

Wise4myage · Answer

Get out and find some rebound action.

Jouth · Answer

because men are better

Jay3344 · Answer

Brain wiring

Why is it easier for a guy to get over a breakup?

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