Would you completely change your style and take better care of yourself to pick up someone?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been talking to multiple girls and as soon as I got single they all came flocking. Some even saying I’m so tall and look like a model after I got done screwing them.. My friend who is really smart has a crush on some girls and I’ve tried asking if they would ever date him. They said absolutely not. He just isn’t attractive and they can’t picture themselves being intimate with them at all. They said he would be a great marriage couple, someone who has a career and money and depend upon, but never attracted to. I asked what could he do to be more attractive? He would have to start dressing and grooming himself like me. Which is basically business casual, clean cut, smelling good. Just an overall complete shift in clothing and maybe even personality.

Yes, I would completely change everything and do anything to make myself more attractive for girls.

No, they will have to accept me for who I am.

[HahWanMilli]

So I think changing everything about yourself to be more attractive to someone is wrong as self identity is important and it doesn't easily change however I believe making SOME changes about yourself can be good for your own life as often the changes we seek to make to be more attractive are positive changes for ourselves.

This is a long topic as obviously I've seen girls and guys commit significant harm to themselves and others in the pursuit of attracting another individual but I myself have made adjustments to my life to try to be more attractive to another individual. At one point in my life I was depressed and a complete slob but after deciding I wanted to pursue another individual I decided that I needed to clean myself up in order to even have a chance with them. It wasn't about changing my identity it was about making positive changes to my life. Even though I did not end up with the individual I have still retained some of those positive changes to this day so I'm going to end this comment with this quote. Just as with a lot of things in life if you are doing something that causes harm to yourself and or others then your wrong but don't live paranoid of crossing that line because life is about growing from mistakes by being hopeful and ultimately seeking happiness.

[Heolurt]

I did this a while back when I used to try to date, I hired a stylist who picked out clothes I bought and wore for a year, cost me so much money, didn't end up getting a single date either and still got looked at like I was the ugliest thing in existence. Changing myself to try and date did absolutely nothing at all but I now had clothes I didn't really feel like I'd wear ever again but every now and again when I go to a higher end restaurant I throw on one of the suits and go have a meal alone, I don't do it because I think there's some hope in dating, I do it because that's become comfortable to me.

[Rei02]

Yes and no. First of all, personal care is something one should do everyday, part of personal improvement and to have a more healthier lifestyle. On the other hand, if you start dating or going out with someone and you want to still hang around, uncounsciously you want to be more beautiful or handsome.

[bubblegunnn]

Sorry i can't. Let saying i completely change my self to be feminine, when i actually a tomboy kinda girl.. and then he likes me and then he want me to be his girlfriend.. ok then i should be lying about my real style for entire relationship?
Nahhh... i love the way iam tho

[Pinay_ako]

Do it for YOURSELF not to pick up girls or just to get into a relationship. Self love and care is priority…

[MAC1983]

Always. "Even in the face of oblivion" to quote Alan Moore, what you wrote is what matters and brings more good people to your life in time than any gym membership and thousands in clothes you might not have the money for.

Self love and care are neither cheap nor expensive. They are priceless and indispensable if you want to be a functional human being...

[Rania05]

"Never to be attracted to" Honestly this was what baffled out of all they said about your friend.
Excuse me for asking
Is your friend visually ugly?

My understanding is that average-looking or below, people all have moments when they look attractive by virtue of temperament, so looks isn't a problem when dating, or is this just my surroundings?

The comment makes me doubt whether they think only his money makes his worth.

[LazerBean]

Well yeah, being shabby, smelly, and unkept isn't a personality trait. Having basic hygiene and self-care is just part of being a well-rounded adult. Someone who would refuse to be clean and presentable because it would "change them" is an idiot. Sorry, they can stay a pig but I like men.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Take better care of myself in regards to health, yes. My style of fashion, however, is already refined and that's why I've never had trouble with attraction. I dress in business casual, vintage suits, et cetera. I always get compliments for it.

As for women, I'm only interested in girls that are feminine and dress vintage. I would never be with someone who isn't and that way I don't have to ask them to change.

[melanieeeB]

Nope, but it was never needed and I always look good anyways so yeah... saying this cause of the poll options description... if you're unclean and shit, don't go out there with the attitude that someone has to take you the way you are lol
I think everyone should be clean looking and neat, don't run around looking homeless

[melanieeeB]

Your friend doesn't have to become you and change his clothing style to business casual, he can run around in normal street clothing, casual whatever his style is but that on a level off looking nice, neat, clean and put together. Shower of course, good cut hair and he should be good to go.
Plus maybe change in attitude, cause people see the aura of people and if every girl doesn't find him attractive, then there is also something about his energy that he is putting out.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Probably not.

Personally, I already do a shit ton for my appearance as it is and I want to feel as happy as possible with it and if people like it, then cool, but if not, then too bad for them.

I get it if one doesn't put any effort in at all and like smells bad or something, but in my case, take it or leave it and if I do change, I'd do it for myself, as I'm not lacking effort.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I already take care of myself, but those outfits and haircuts look stupid in my opinion. And scented colognes, soaps, deoderants and body sprays all smell like garbage.

I'm not changing my style for anyone, and I've never had issues being seen as attractive by attractive women.

Also the type of style you describe only attracts mostly sluts and gold diggers.

[red324]

I've thought about this before. I usually just wear shorts and a tshirt, pretty much the same thing I wore back in high school. It's hot out where I live all the time so it's just what I like to wear. Now if I go out on a date or I go out to pick up a chick I'll throw on some decent jeans and a collared shirt.

[midnightmoon05]

Do that on a regular basis for yourself. You will feel good and confident. It will become second nature. Good for you and the future her.

[Valso]

There's only one woman left on the planet for who I'd do that, but the chances for me ever meeting her or her being interested in me are less than 1 in a trillion, so the answer is "no, I wouldn't".

[genericname85]

no. that to me is deceptive. i don't build my relationship on deception and lies. i'm not gonna sell myself above value, cause i don't want my partner to do that shit either.

[genericname85]

of course you're gonna be on your best behavior and looks during the first date. that is normal.

[art84]

I never tried it before but would give it a shot depending on the style just as long as it isn't trying too hard to impress someone and pretending to be someone you're not.

[RavVid]

Probably accept me as I am is ill advised as I am inclined to scruffy.

[AsaKyo]

What's the point when no guys find me attractive to begin with because of my hair color, eye color and skin color?

[MAC1983]

I am sorry. It's just that most guys your age are effectively jerks. It's reflects more on them than you, if those are the issues. A LOT, stupid and shameless, more.

[nickaboy]

I actually don't even know who I am anymore so yes I will change my appearance and behaviour until i discover who I actually am. But I will never do it for a woman.

[Nikki1989]

No. I have never done it in the past and sure wouldn't start now.

[Juxtapose]

I take care of myself but if that's not good enough then fuck 'em.

[Jamie05rhs]

I would prefer to find someone first; then I will dress up for her.

[msc545]

Hell no. No woman is worth it considering they will lie cheat and steal anyway.

[TrillXHippy]

I think wanting to change yourself just to be with someone is really stupid