Dating

I still loved my ex but didn’t take him back?

I don’t want to live him anymore and have wanted to forget the feelings completely. He ghosted me for another girl so I felt that no matter what my feelings were I couldn’t let him have a place in my heart anymore. He tried to come back and I didn’t let him. My only issue is that I want to date again but haven’t been getting the right combination of things I want in a partner. Something is always missing, or a deal breaker or something I don’t want (such as the man having multiple children while I have none or being handsome and successful but twice my age or long distance). With my ex I did love him and I hate the fact that he was perfect in my eyes. Our lives aligned and we had along in common, but it wasn’t just the stuff on paper that I liked. I liked his personality and I felt like we complimented each other and we had so much passion. I was blindsided when he ghosted me and I was devastated as well. The fact that he needed to see what else was out there to me was enough proof that whatever I thought we had wasn’t mutual. And even though he came back I don’t want him anymore I don’t want to have anything to do with him. I just hate the fact that I felt like he was perfect for me

I still loved my ex but didn’t take him back?
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