Why would someone say after first date that they’re looking for their soulmate and a good wife?

[Anonymous]

How can someone know after a first date?

[Dazed0N0Confused]

You don't know that after a first date, but you can get a feel for chemistry from a first date to see if you're interested in a second one lol
If someone told me this after a first date, I don't think I would be getting ahold of them for a second. I would feel too much pressure from the person, as I think the beginning of the dating phase should be the fun, easy part of it all.
They're probably saying it so you know the expectations they have regarding where the relationship is to lead, but there's a lot that goes into building that kind of relationship & you need to be dating a while before you should even be thinking "I want this person by my side forever".

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[BCRanger10]

If a man says that to you, it's because he's doing two things. The first is he's making it clear that he's not just in it to use you. The other though is the more important one. It's that he's making his intentions and desires for a prospective relationship clear as well, so that way if you don't want the same things, neither of you are wasting your time with each other and to spare further complications and heartache later on. It's so that you can also evaluate if he's the kind of man you want to spend your life with and have children with, or if you think you're the kind of woman he'd want the same from.

Think about it as if you were applying and interviewing for a job. If you come across a job that has an interesting title, but the qualifications and daily responsibilities don't seem interesting or you don't fit them, should you apply for it? No, you'd move on. It's the same basic principle here.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[Aimer07]

Well said.

[whiskeyontherocks]

Nailed it

[Sixgun77]

Most likely they say that because they're letting you know that their intent is not to just casually fool around, but to find the right person to settle down with for life and (probably) start a family with.

They're letting you know what they want straight away so that if your long term goals aren't compatible then neither one of you wastes time on something that's never going to work out in the long run.

When people do this, it's a good thing, not a red flag. And he said that's what he's looking for, not that he thought you were it. People usually already know what they're looking for before a first date.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[sheenagwapa]

i found my soulmate just by lookinh at an instagram pic. for many months i've been having this fear that i cannot find someone who can replace my ex and just ine look my fear suddenly fade and i feel like i know him so well. and then the next thing i'm doing is i told my sister and my parents that i found the person i wanna marry. and that is so not me. i've been lookinh at people insta profile and there are others who are good lookinh but why ONLY him. why not twice it happen. and now i keep having dreams which are hints of what he likes. many times i wanna give up but i will then have dreams hintinh me to push through so i try to understand him


the only dreams i vouch is my Secong Coming dreams but these soulmate dreams i am at the point my doubts are all gone and the more i want people encourage people to prepare themselves

[OlderAndWiser]

I cannot say it any better that @BCRanger10 has explained it.

[Anonymous]

That someone says they’re looking for their soulmate/wife/husband/serious relationship or whatever, that means it’s what they’re looking for. The reason they’re dating - to try and find that. It does NOT mean it’s necessarily YOU that’s it. They’re just dating you to find out if you could be it and is not interested in dating someone just because. I never understood how people don’t get this. I’ve seen people before say it’s red flag. That you need to run and whatever from people saying they’re looking for their life-partner because ”how can they possible know that right away” and what not. Yeah, again, they don’t know that and is dating you to find out if it could potentially be you and if you’re worth continuing to date for that purpose or not. They’re just not into casual and short term, they’re dating woth the putpose to find something real and will move on sooner rather than later if they find out you’re not it.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[Summeroflove]

They’re letting you know their intentions in dating. I personally want to have fun with dating and know who I’m compatible with and explore my romantic feelings what I like and what I don’t like. I want to save sex until marriage.



But I also date for marriage. I want to find my soulmate. He didn’t say you were his soulmate. He is simply letting you know what he is doing this for.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[Asker]

He said that after He rejected me and I unadded him from Instagram..

[Summeroflove]

Depends on why you were late. If you have him notice and apologized for it and ir was out of your control or you just it was a total accident.

If someone’s late though especially habitually and I’m one time or early. It shows lack of interest by the other person. I might move on.

[Summeroflove]

Depending on the reasons.

[Summeroflove]

If he does not want to see you again. It’s just not mean to be. He was honest with you.

If he wants to go out with you again. Then he ended things. He knows where to find you. Just leave him be.

[Summeroflove]

Especially 40 minutes. That’s pretty excessive. But again. Depends on the reasons. I understand shit happens. I would want someone to be understanding of me.

But. If I am interested in someone. I will try to be on time or early.

[Summeroflove]

Seems like it isn’t meant to be. At least he was honest about rejecting you. Not just ghost you or something like that.

Unless he was mean about it. Don’t be bitter. Rejection sucks. But you would rather someone be honest.

[Asker]

But I don't know if he really did that because I was late..

[Asker]

Like if that really pissed him off

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know either. You could ask him. But probably better to leave him alone.

Depends on why you were late. 40 minutes is pretty late. Did you give him a heads up? Was it something out of your control?

Also-

Some things just aren’t meant to be.

[Summeroflove]

If you’re into someone. Show interest. It’s rude to make someone wait. That will cause someone to loose interest.

Be on time or early. Not excessively early. But early. If you are going to be late and it’s unavoidable. Call in advance. Apologize. Explain the situation. Maybe offer to cover the full check.

[Asker]

Would you be really offended if you was in his situation?

[Summeroflove]

Again. Depends on why you were late and how you went about it.

If you were intentionally late and that late and gave no heads up. Yeah. I would think you’re not interested

[Summeroflove]

But you won’t answer the question not to be rude. But depend on context.

[Asker]

Tbh I told him that I will be late after he got there

[Summeroflove]

Why were you late?

[Summeroflove]

Was it out of your control or not?

[Asker]

I was late because it took me too long to get ready

[Asker]

I also made a white lie that I’m soon there before he got there. When he got there I told him I’m still on my way

[Summeroflove]

Too long getting ready is on you. 40 minutes is excessive. As well as lying. He probably figured if you will lie and not be on time. You’re not interested

[Summeroflove]

Be on time or early next time. Yeah. I would lose interest over that.

[Asker]

I kinda pleaded to him. Doesn’t that actually show that I like him?

[Summeroflove]

I suppose. But. If you were late and lied to him. I can understand. You lost him. Learn your lesson.

[Summeroflove]

Personally. If someone makes me wait 40 minutes for no good reason and lies to me. They aren’t worth my time anyways.

It shows how the person is later on. Next time. Be on time or early. You just make sure you have plenty of time to get ready.

When someone says no and you plead with them. Now you’re just harassing them.

[Asker]

I pleaded couple times not too many times snd after that I went nc

[Summeroflove]

Look. It’s pretty disrespectful to be late especially excessively. Lie about it. Not be sorry.

If shit happened like something came up with something important or got stuck in traffic. Totally understand.

Just. You’ll find someone else. Be on time to the best of your ability. 40 minutes. Who even knows if I would wait 40 minutes. If I did. Yeah. I probably wouldn’t be impressed.

[Asker]

by the way he did wait for me because he knew that I was on my way we were texting. What does it tell about him?

[Summeroflove]

It tells you. He isn’t interested. You lied. You were late. I wouldn’t be either after that.

[Summeroflove]

Sorry. That’s the truth. It shows he has standards.

[Chubbychick]

I had a feeling with my husband after our first date. He did too. We are both massive sports fans, and we went to a football game on our first date. We just clicked so fully. We went out again the next night, and we were exclusive after that. It all felt so right. He's also the only guy that ever said I was smokin hot lol lol

[melanieeeB]

I already say that before a first date and purely cause I wanna make my intentions clear.
I'm not saying go let's get married but that I'm genuinely trying to get to know them and see if we have chemistry and a connection for maybe a serious second date and hopefully, if everything works out, maybe a serious relationship one day

[CanadianLearner]

It probably means what it sounds like it, he wants to settle down and that's his immediate goal.

But, what would possess a man to say that on a first date, is another question.

Too serious too soon.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[CanadianLearner]

"Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again"

Yes.

He probably has a vision for what he wants in a woman, and someone who can keep their commitments is probably part of that.

Or maybe he just deduced you didn't have high interest or much respect for him, given your lateness, and has decided to move onto other women.

[Asker]

I tried to let him know that I do want to see him again but he had made his mind…

[Asker]

I didn’t know that being late was such a deal breaker.

[CanadianLearner]

"I didn’t know that being late was such a deal breaker."

It can be, partly depends how much notice you gave (if any).

"I tried to let him know that I do want to see him again"

How did you two meet? Have you known each other long?

You might be able to bring him around, depends on how you handle it and the circumstances.

[Steamnir]

He is trying to be definitive with what he wants so if u want the same, u go further, if u looking for hook up, he leaves

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[Steamnir]

He didn't want to see u again? Ok then why are u questioning this? He already left. I think making him wait was a deal breaker, he seems like a hard person to please

[Asker]

Yeah, I think he has a big ego and really was offended by that.

[Hypermotard1916]

No one can gauge the personalty, people adjust thats it.

Unlike your culture which is degenerate, where it is expected to be a perfect romance.

So you will be single with children, but thats how your civilisation works

[hahahmm]

It's fine if they're dealing with someone who has the same mindset. It's a problem if it's a random blind date/tinder date tho.

[lilyanony1]

Because that's the intention behind their dating. They're dating with a purpose.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[lilyanony1]

I think he felt disrespected, having him wait that long especially without communication is off.
Maybe he was prepared to write that off. But perhaps spending some time with you he could see and hear that you weren't on the same path. And that's OK. If he doesn't want to see you again. I'd just accept it learn to not be late again and hopefully the next guy will be better x

[Bethany22]

They're a player. They're telling you things he thinks you want to hear

[FilmGuy93]

Just because the person says they're looking for something, doesn't mean they found it in you. They're just telling you where their head is at.

[Anonymous]

this doesn't mean that YOU'RE the soulmate/wife. it just means that that's why they're dating and what they're looking for in the long term.

[BJP21]

At that point, Id say when are you free for a second date? That beach front looks a bit lonely with that sun setting.

[Hellraiser1984]

To let you know where they stand and what they want in a relationship.

[Asker]

I was late 40 minutes for our date. He waited for me outside of the coffee shop. Do you think he said that because he didn’t think I was serious? He didn’t want to see me again

[Hellraiser1984]

Ok maybe he was telling you off politely. Or not. If he's willing to wait that long to do that then forget him he wasn't worth your time. Seems kind of snobby.

[Asker]

Yeah. Do you think he was really offended?

[Hellraiser1984]

No. Maybe he just didn't want to date you. His loss.

[AngryCarl]

Lost interest and trying to dump you. Girls pull that stuff all the time.

[Asker]

So you don’t believe him?

[AngryCarl]

Do you?

[Anonymous]

Guys will say anything, and it is very hard to take anything seriously from a first date.

[EmmaMary]

The simple answer is they can't.

[Asker]

Do you think he’s lying?

[EmmaMary]

It was probably more than likely just a figure of speech comment... I certainly wouldn't go reading to much into this at all.

[Asker]

What do you mean? He just wanted to reject me?

[EmmaMary]

I suggest you read and digest exactly what the "Anonymous" member has written... It's true, accurate and to the point.

[Asker]

The thing is I was late for the date. I guess he thought I’m not serious about him?

[_Just_A_girl_]

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