I’m 19 years old and I haven’t had a boyfriend since junior high - due to depression and a back injury I’ve put on around 100 pounds in the last few years. I wouldn’t call myself desperate but I do want to be in a relationship is my being overweight enough of a reason for guys to not ask me out? I’m kinda a shy person and have always been serious ( that could be relevant) but I noticed before I put on the weight plenty of guys were interested. For context I’m 5’8 so before the weight gain I was around 150 lbs so now I’m like 270 lbs ish which recently I’ve started making better decisions and getting some exercise so I’ve probably lost some weight. I guess I just wondered if my being overweight was enough to drive guys away or could something else be wrong? Which before I gained the weight plenty of people told me I was pretty so I’m pretty sure that isn’t it. But I guess my question is do you think my weight is why I’m single? Or is something else wrong with me? Which I was only cleared by my doctor to begin exercising again six months ago but a month ago based on my own progress, mental health, and desire to be healthy I’ve started trying to lose the weight. I guess I’m just hoping guys will like me once I lose the weight but I don't know
Do you think this is the reason?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
That much overweight signifies other associated problems to guys. It is the whole perception that includes physical, emotional, and general elements of who you are. Whether it is right or wrong, it is assumed.
I think being overweight can be a factor for some people, and some it would be enough reason to not date you. That being said, I do not think that is the reason you are single, nor do I think you should not date being overweight. I think more importantly than your weight, it is how you feel about yourself, confidence, everything like that, that will attract people regardless of how much you weigh. So not knowing you, I cannot know what the reason is, but a guess, would be that you're not comfortable enough to date at this point or that possible you're looking for the wrong people in the wrong places. there's someone for everyone, overweight or not.
best of luck x
Personally the mental issues, self esteem issues are more of an issue then weight. My opinion is probably biased though. I prefer plus sized women so 270 lbs sounds very much acceptable to me. Id work on the depression and self esteem. If in the process you loose the weight. Cool. If not. Cool. I know what its like to be depressed. It is a HUGE deterrent. It makes even the people that know and already love you feel challenged in doing so.
TLDR: work on you mentally. The rest will follow.