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No. This is wrong.
What I think is happening here, is that several (true) things got muddled together until it came out as this... incorrect theory.
1. First, it is SO true that personality matters A LOT. Like a whole lot.
What this means is, quite often the girl "who guys are most attracted to" is NOT the same girl as the "best looking" girl (at work, school, the party, wherever).
That means that an attractive girl with a great personality will be "more attractive overall" to guys: Not the perfect looking girl who's not all that awesome as a person.
2. Guys do indeed generally separate women they're attracted to into two categories: "relationship material" and "someone you just want to fuck". THAT part is true. But it is NOT decided based on attractiveness. It is determined based on WHAT WAY a girl is attractive. The TYPE OF ATTRACTIVE
Does she attempt to appeal to men's sexually--directly? (this can be broadly summed up as 'slutty'. So if a girl is attractive because she wears short skirts and low shirts... then... naturally... guys will think "i wanna fuck her". They don't generally see a hot girl looking/acting like that... and think..."gee, I'd like to get to know her better, and see if we might be compatible for a long-term relationship."
If on the other hand, a girl is attractive in... a not-so-directly-sexually-charged-way. That's generally the kind of attractive guys look for when it comes to a relationship. These are girls whose looks are often describe as "pretty, beautiful, cute, etc. ("hot" too, but this is used for both. Depends on context). AND USUALLY a guy will include something about the girl's personality. "She's cute, and really smart". Or "She's so much fun to hang out with, and she's fucking beautiful".
So, my guess is that these two true things, got mushed together to create an (internally logical) untrue 'lie' ... that sounds like it COULD be true. But It's not. 🙂
Yes.
This is my standard answer to this kind of question which often comes from a rather attractive girl who can't get a decent boyfriend...
=========================
If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.
"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...
All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...
And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high-maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)
So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.
Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...
Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.
She needs to make it known she is available or be proactive and hit on men she wants instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.
Honestly, I don't think it comes down to confidence.
Highly attractive women, are still women. Just like any other, susceptible to all the same flaws and faults.
In my experience highly attractive women, seem be aware of this fact. Regardless, they still think they deserve better, without putting out any additional effort then the next women.
The most beautiful women get lots of interest from guys for a long-term relationship. Some guys may not want to compete with others or are players to the extent that they don't do long term at all, but the vast majority of men would be happy to be in a relationship with such a woman.
they do go for the most beautiful girl. whether they succeed or not is entirely different because a beautiful girl has a lot of hurdles for a man to overcome especially if he doesn't pass the 3 second test immediately.
for starters, she needs to find him physically attractive. sex is a vital component of relationships and if the thought of having sex with him makes her puke, everything else e. g. money, personality etc. he has to offer doesn't matter in the slightest because the Halo Effect will play a large role in determining his intentions whether true or not.
next he has to gain approval from her friends, family, peers and society at large. society puts heavy peer pressure on her to make choices according to what they want whether it's in her best interest or not. examples include society frowning upon mismatched looks and age gap relationships. she's beautiful so everyone's gonna voice their own opinion on the relationship and nitpick the guy.
then the man has to deal with steep competition and often has to contend with other men some of whom may be superior to him in areas like looks, height, money, status etc. and the Halo Effect given off to society would further reinforce who she should choose.
lastly if he manages to score by some miracle, keeping her is difficult because society has already put her on such a pedestal she starts to believe she can do better. there's always gonna be guys in her DMs, her friends will nitpick him and sows the seeds of doubt, poisoning the well because it's a socially agreed disgrace for an unattractive man to have any form of happiness in his life and he's apparently taking it away from someone else "more deserving".
now maybe not all men go for the most beautiful girl because most are being realistic about their chances. the only way to succeed is to actually win. there's no such thing as participation trophies, not even in dating. a rejection is not merely a rejection. it points to an underlying problem the man has which needs to be fixed even if it can't be fixed. when most girls see a man getting rejected, they have a tendency to think hive minded that there must be something wrong with him and they should avoid him too (another Halo Effect phenomenon) for example if Brad Pitt got rejected, other girls might think he's a creep because why else would an attractive guy get rejected?
though for men, they will typically try to go for and find a girl who they personally find beautiful that nobody else does which is rather futile because men are similarly a bit hive-minded too.
The most attractive women tend to not only be the most picky and selective with men (because they can be), but also tend to have the most inflated egos, narcissism, and entitlement towards anything in life. They think they are goddesses among mortals, and many men, if not most, don't want to deal with that.
Even a "Chad" like Tom Brady, is divorcing his six foot tall supermodel wife; although anyone can see Gisele Bundchen always looks like a Karen with sand in her vagina. And I don't even find Gisele Bundchen to be attractive looking. Same story with Kanye and Kim.
Celebrities are considered by the public to be among the most attractive looking people in society, and yet, most everyday men wouldn't want to be in a long-term relationship with one; even if they'd sleep with them.
Looks and beauty, and personality, are two different things, and contrary to what some women think, men do put a LOT of value on a partner's personality. And the more attractive someone is, the more likely their personality sucks.
Less to do with confidence, more to do with principles.
From my observation, very attractive women for the most part tend to live privileged lives and therefore lack perspective. They probably cannot relate to a lot of what I talk about, and may even lack some of the criteria that I look for in a long term relationship. I will give you an example. I would search for a woman that is humble and polite and respectful as well as teachable and co-operative. What I find is that the more physically attractive a woman is, that less she has to make up for in other parts of her portfolio because people will often add to her ego. Of course there are exceptions, but I cannot be with a woman that is not humble, and saying "I'm a 10" doesn't make you confident, it makes you arrogant because confidence implies being comfortable in your own skin and humility means understanding that you're not everyone's cup of tea, so even though you might be very attractive, nobody is truly a 10 because nobody is perfect.
Other problems could be related to bland character (not having anything to talk about due to lack of hobbies) and a sense of entitlement. Like I said, this isn't a universal rule because people are different, but these are some of the things I would be wary about before I approach a very attractive woman.
At the end of the day, life is about convenience. Why make it harder? If you don't like certain traits, don't just tolerate them because someone is your type. I like peace of mind more than I care about being with a model, and I'm pretty sure a lot of men agree with me on this one.
Sadly yes this can be true , When a guy c’s a girl that he feels is out of his league he won’t really try to pursue her if he is shy or nervous , he will automatically assume she isn’t interested in him so he won’t embarrass himself by being denied , on another note , if he does pursue her and gets her interest and ends up sleeping with her , it will be hard for him to stay committed to her because he fears she will eventually cheat on him because of all the attention she will receive from other guys hitting on her. Men are very territorial over a girl he gives his heart to , when she tells him he is being insecure and he doesn’t trust her , he is really trying to make her aware that he is afraid some other guy is going to win her over , Sadly I have witnessed this unfold to see this as being true , I had a friend that would only date Hot girls , he would get into a relationship with them and they all ended up cheating on him so he eventually settled down with a girl that was no way near as good looking as the other girls he used to date , When we asked him why he settled for her he said he is tired of being cheated on
Not true. Men go for the girl they feel most likely to get. The more attractive a girl is the more options she feels she has and the less likely she is to settle. Its hard for any man to match the high standards that even average girls require.
Then there's what is actually considered as beautiful. When you compare the top celebrity women from movies, TV, music, fashion etc and what ones guts actually are attracted to the most it's usually very average looking actresses who are maybe pretty in the face, thin and short. That girl next door look.
I don't know personally I find myself most drawn to cute girls not hot. I recently slept with a perfect 10 and also a 7. I can't stop thinking about the 7. That being said there's more to her than the 10 who I didn't feel was a match for me at all. While the 7 and I clicked so perfect. I mean 7 and up to me is all very attractive like beautiful enough they need no makeup to still compete in terms of looks with other women who do wear makeup. At that point it doesn't matter much to me. And in my opinion every perfect 10 girl I can think of off hand just I found weird or off putting personality wise or just was in a bad place in her life I didn't care to rescue her from.
u not true in my case... in college, my girlfriend was the best looking of the class (with and without bias, lol) but that was not because of her looks nor was I after the sex
she just happened to have a great personality, great character and a couple other things that made her more attractive me and not just her looks
and I had no reasons to feel insecure about any of it either
I like what you wrote and agree that that's probably true for some people. It's not true for me. If I don't date the most beautiful girl it's not because of confidence or keeping her or anything like that. It's just that dating someone is so much more than beauty and that girl might not be all that.
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