Why don’t I ever believe people when they say they like me?

[Anonymous]

I’m a very attractive girl and I know that not in a vain way. But I find it really hard to believe when a guy says he likes me. I’m seeing someone and he tells me like everyday how much he wants me and likes me but I’m so like stuck in my mind and have trust issues believing it. Is this normal? I don’t want it to ruin my relationships by pushing people away. I think it’s just because I feel like I’m hard to handle as a person? Like or if I have sex with a guy I’m literally exclusive with I get so worked up and convince myself he’s just using me and saying all this to keep the sex. I don’t know how to get out of this?

[AmandaYVR]

There's two aspects to attraction and keeping relationships (at least two) and your physical attractiveness is only of them; and you know this. You know you are difficult, as no one knows you better than yourself. You worry that when they get to know you, they won't really like you for what they find you, and who you are. As soon as you're involved with someone, you start worrying about them leaving you, after finding out the real you.

Although... yes, lots of guys do just use girls for sex. That's all they really want from them, and they keep lying and obfuscating their true intentions, because then they wouldn't get to be around them at all; or get sex.

So, somewhere between these two, is the truth, or the most likely scenario. Either could be right, or a little bit both true. But you can change that by valuing yourself more, not sleeping with guys right away so that they've had no time to get to know you, and working slowly on expressing yourself. In order to gain true inner confidence, you need to put your thoughts and ideas out into the world, and test them against others. Some will not agree with you. Some won't support you. But others will. And a rare few may find the things you think and say to be quite beautiful, and worthy of their time and affection.

[jillybeanns]

Sounds like you may have low self esteem (which is not connected to how you feel about your looks). Self esteem is the level at which you value yourself. The higher your self esteem is, the more you value yourself. The more you value your self, the more it would make sense as to why someone would like you and henceforth, you would not question why someone would like you if you believe that you are a valuable person. Hope this helps.

[Guy13]

Because guys lie and you are insecure. Not sure of your Past experience.

[Asker]

See the thing is I’m not insecure about my looks or physical at all so I’m always not exactly sure what I’m insecure about so it’s hard to ever fix the problem. I know I have a good personality too I just think I can be a lot to deal with I think and emotional

[Guy13]

Oh... you are living in the land of the perfect. The unreal Reality... got it.

[UniquelyBasic]

Insecurity and low self-esteem could be the reason.

[DaisyM23]

it's your insecurity speaking, have you had past bad relationships with anyone? but yeah sounds like you've been hurt or you're like emotionally detached because of that. It's hard to break out of that cycle, I dunno try therapy or self-help exercises in building up your self-confidence

[Anonymous]

Better to be that way the the exact opposite.