Would You Leave Your Lover if somebody had a lot more to offer you?

[Anonymous]

[TruthBringer]

Yes, If I'm UNHAPPY in my relationship and have done everything in my power to make things better, but didn't work.

No, if I am happy in my relationship.

I see many comments here calling someone who leaves for better things like "scum" for choosing a better partner for them. I believe this demonization is only justified IF the person was leaving a good partner. You don't get to call someone "scum" for leaving an abusive relationship and finding someone who is better for them. Whether the abuse is physical, mental, or emotional.

I've dealt with emotional abuse & racism (from her family) in my previous relationship with someone who turned out to have a personality disorder. I've invested more into the relationship than she ever did. The relationship drained me of my energy and left me dealing with complex PTSD even years after the breakup. Although I didn't leave her immediately for someone else, I knew someone else would have much more to offer for me than this emotionally abusive relationship that was DRAINING me of my energy.

And I did find her. She does everything right that my ex did wrong and we are growing together both as individuals AND as a couple. I don't even dare to think about leaving her for "someone better". Whereas my ex regressed in all areas of her life and was clearly holding me back from my personal development. So yeah, I have no regrets being with someone better. Good riddance.

[ManOnFire]

Not surprised that a woman asked this to be honest.

I don't do "upgrades." Whoever I got is who I got, and I'm going to be loyal to that. Unlike most men, I'm a one-woman man. Even if another woman had a bigger chest, sweeter smile, or funnier character, the woman I have is who I'm going to be faithful to.

There is always going to be someone out there who has something better than us or your partner, but also things we or our partner have that's better than them. You can run through your whole life constantly going with someone you think has 'more to offer' and you'll never reach the end of it or be happy.

[AmeerX]

Thank you stranger))
I wanted to hear your words for myself took. I actually had an arranged match and I felt I was being given something less albeit with little effort. But I feel you are right. I just wish God makes my life and hereafter happy and my spouse turns beautiful, faithful and loving

[Cynicaldreamer]

If you do, then you're scum...

Sorry if I offended anyone with the truth, lol.
If you really loved said person, then ideally you wouldn't leave them: no matter how bad things were, or if something or someone better came along.

To me, if someone does that, I'm assuming they never loved you in the first place. But were just with you and/or using you for what you could give them.

[DaveJord]

Yeah, I am not offended... but I disagree. It's easy to fall in love, it's hard to stay in love if they are not growing as person. So, when life issues start to impact the relationship, you have right to be happy... so you should not feel like you have to endure the burden of the relationship if it's not being fulfilling, just because you fell in love and the entire situation changed afterwards.

[AmeerX]

Obviously you don't understand relationships. It is possible she might not be emotionally available. Then she should not feel unhappy if the man has someone else he likes. Not being physical but just talking to him

[TruthBringer]

@Cynicaldreamer Be careful with your words. You're entering the territory of gaslighting. You calling people "scum" is ONLY justified when they are leaving a GOOD partner. So you've only given a HALF-truth. Other than that, sometimes it is best to leave someone to find someone better. This applies to abusive relationships (whether physical or emotional).

I have to agree with @DaveJord. Not every partner you love is a good partner. I also had to leave someone I loved because they were detrimental in my life. I left her because the relationship was too much to bear, and had sucked me from my energy so much that I became a shell of my former self. You don't get to call me "scum" because I choose to leave an abusive relationship that caused me complex PTSD for years after the breakup. Whereas SHE (has a personality disorder) was with me out of convenience and for what I was doing for her. And when I stopped doing these things, I SUDDENLY meant nothing to her.

You don't get to tell me that I never loved her simply because I chose to leave her to keep whatever emotional & mental sanity I had left in me. What you did is what we call GASLIGHTING. Nowhere does it say that love is supposed to drain you and leave you in a rut.

[DaveJord]

@TruthBringer 💯💯

[mandyfire98]

No matter how bad things were? Like a physically abusive relationship? You can't be serious right now. Might be the worst advice I've ever heard.

[AmeerX]

@mandyfire98 actually a lot of women beat there husbands at home in my country. They complain to friends but they don't report in police. Too bad there mistresses are also wrenches

[mandyfire98]

@AmeerX

And they should absolutely leave their spouses.

[AmeerX]

@mandyfire98 affirmative. Just that people automatically assume it's the man's fault when many times it's both man and woman's fault

[mandyfire98]

@AmeerX

Oh no, both parties are absolutely capable of abuse. Both parties do abuse. That's definitely a fact for sure. But if it's toxic at all the relationship needs to end.

[AmeerX]

@mandyfire98 exactly 💯

[BlueScorpio]

Only if your current partner/relationship isn't doing well or just extremely harmful to you mentally, emotionally, physically etc. In that case most people will get tired of such relationships and will want to search for something more stable. But other than that, no.. why quit a relationship that's good?

[DaveJord]

I could not say I would leave someone I love for someone else. But I have left someone I loved, because real life issue started to impact the relationship. I mean they were still the same person, and I cared for them deeply. But they were not growing as a person, and the burden of the relationship became too much for me. It changed the nature of the relationship. So, I did not leave them for a specific person, but I did leave them to find someone better... and I think I have

[ThinkFitness23]

Got to keep growing and grow together

[TruthBringer]

Well said, Dave! I also have no regrets leaving someone who was bad for my life. It's not that she didn't grow, she never wanted to grow, in the first place. And so she was holding me back from my own growth and happiness. Glad to say, I also found someone much better.

If people think I'm "scum" for leaving an emotionally abusive relationship and am reaping the fruits of a healthy relationship, then they can kiss my ass.

[DaveJord]

@TruthBringer @ThinkFitness23 👍 👍 👍

[AmeerX]

@TruthBringer I don't think you're a scum. But you should be happy with whoeveryou're without thinking bad about your ex. She loved you and you loved her at one time

[jennifer_bloom]

I would only marry someone with a good enough personality that I know I could be faithful to them forever, if they get ugly and old, if their weight changes, if they become sick, if they lose their intelligence, if they develop mental issues etc…

[SteveSmith1985]

No. Unless you're in an abusive situation... There is never any excuse for this. If the answer to this question is "maybe" or "yes"... you shouldn't be in a relationship with your 'Lover'. You are with them for convenience. Most people aren't ok with being the convenient choice.

[coachTanthony]

No but that is what women are biologically impaired to do... monkey branch from one to another who has better resources.

[Datboi65]

No. One thing I take very seriously is loyalty. I cannot expect a loyal partner and then cheat, that will make me a hypocrite. I cannot expect a loyal partner and then leave them for someone else. We are who we are at the end of the day, if there's something wrong going on I would let her know. I have unlimited hate for those who go behind other people's backs and do these things, they are nothing more than worthless cowards.

[DoctorSex]

If I call a lady my girlfriend that's it. There's nothing anyone could offer me to change my mind. That's my future wife and mother of my kids. I've done all the background checks. That lady is good for life so there's nothing anyone in the world could possibly offer me. Loyalty is the only language I speak.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[ZXCwWRQWz]

A new one, but not a committed one. If I commit, I really mean it in the sense that I forego everything which might actually be better for me for her. That's what commitment means in my opinion. Of course, there will be way better opportunities later on. That's what commitment means. It means saying "no" to something which is way, way, way better.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Real commitment is turning down superior offers. It's like say you're making $50,000/year, and someone asked you to abandon something you're committed to in favor of making $50 million/year. That is the test of commitment. And if someone says no here when what they're offered is so obviously better, they have real commitment. They commit to what is so obviously worse.

[Twalli]

Yes, but it's more than money and sex. My girlfriend doesn't help me financially, and while our sex probably isn't the best sex either of us could have, we enjoy it enough to not seek better sex. So she'd have to offer more love, trust, support, etc. than my girlfriend and her family already do. Since I make my girlfriend happy, her parents love me and make sure that I can continue to make their daughter happy.

[Mybeachlife8888]

No, you don’t leave the one you love just because someone else offers more. There’s always going to be people who have more to offer one way or another. You chose your person, you love them, and you take on the world together. You don’t ditch your partner just to get ahead…. That’s pathetic.

[Adam1978]

I don't think that's possible for a person you don't love to offer more than a person you love. Only people who are heartless value money and empty promises over a already bounded love. And you deserve to be the one grasping for too much and ending up without anything.

[MCheetah]

Possibly, but only if I was unhappy with the current lover. I wouldn't leave a perfectly happy relationship just for a POSSIBILITY of being happier with someone new.

[jshm2]

That is the whole point of a "lover" deary.

If you're a good businesswoman you'll work in such, and always be looking for better. What makes you think sex is any different?

[RangerBlue22]

And the grass is always greener on the other side right? Smdh.

Unless you are truly unhappy with your current relationship then you are being very entitled and selfish miss anon.

[FilmGuy93]

Not likely, no. There would need to be serious problems with my relationship before I would leave. And if I did leave, it wouldn't be for another woman.

[VanillaSalt]

No I’m sorry but I’i worked hard to win her I’m not just giving her up… If I thought someone ride could do better for her then Ide just be better…

[Labokachulaa]

No, because I believe in karma and I've seen when people think the grass is greener on the other side. Lol

[t_time]

Not a chance. my boyfriend and i have an amazing relationship. No amount of material things could break what him and I have

[SphynxUK]

I would leave them if they didn’t love me, or if I didn’t love them.

[Adaeva]

That is what women do but not unless they are certain.

[DizzyDesii]

If we’re still in the first 3 months or less and he’s not doing a good job as a boyfriend, um yea