Its been five months ago and I can't forget him even when Im dating with others what to do?

Question

What can I do to forget him?

JamesDiaz11 · Accepted Answer

There's nothing you can do to forget them- which includes dating other people. All you can do is to continue no contact and live your life. Immediately after a breakup we think obsessively about our ex, worrying what they're doing/ who they're seeing, and it causes extreme anxiety. Slowly, as you accept that they're not coming back, and you have no power over what they do- even acknowledging it's best for them to move on too, it gets easier. You just come to accept that you're no longer going to be with each other- this doesn't mean you don't miss them.

As months go by you think about them less and less, but this doesn't meant that you won't have "relapses"- where you break down and reach out, or look at their social media, or something that brings the hurt back fresh. But each successive "relapse" becomes less extreme. It's sad, and it doesn't stop being sad, but as humans we adapt, which includes adapting to loss.

I know for me, 5 months later still felt fresh, and I had anxiety over what she was doing, despite me dating someone else. Then came the point of acceptance- she wasn't coming back. Then came the point where I decided to keep on living, to still be happy despite us not being together. Many people are actively sad long after the hurt just on principle, as if their sadness validates the feelings they had for this person (e. g. looking through old pics, listening to sad music, etc.)

If you loved this person they will always be in your heart- just as you will always be in theirs. Just because you're not together, and not going to be, doesn't mean what you had wasn't real. Not all relationships last forever, and we make mistakes, sometimes again and again. But you have to keep living, and eventually the hurts from the past will fade away to the point where you're happy for the things you have. Years later you may not think of this person at all, but if/ when you look back you can come to appreciate that you two shared something special, and while it wasn't meant to be, you're happy that your life was blessed with this experience- however ephemeral.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I don't know your actual situation, but it sounds like you've been "alpha widowed" - when you get with a top guy who is out of your league, a guy who was never going to commit to you, and now no other guy can compare with him. It's the same idea as a person who only flies coach getting a free upgrade to First Class, and then being miserable every time they have to fly coach again.

If that's the case, then the thing that is your road block is being able to accept that you were playing outside your league and that you cannot reset your standards to what you got from him, any more than a coach flier can have First Class standards. A one-time upgrade isn't a lifestyle, it's a fluke.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

For some people it just takes longer to get over people and past relationships. It just means you still need time to heal. 5 months in my opinion isn't really that long, one time it took me 3 years to get over a guy I really liked once cause I thought he really liked me. You need to give yourself time that's all.

rienna888 · Accepted Answer

Omg that sucks girl I feel you. Keep focusing on bettering yourself, at your job, education, improving diet, exercising. Also you could download a dating app and go on dates with hot guys at public places to get over him. Lol that’s how I got over my ex :).

coachTanthony · Answer

Time will do the trick it always does but for now maybe do some journaling, exercise is good and love yourself a little more.

ThinkFitness23 · Answer

I always ask the background..

1. How long have you known this person.

2. How long were you together.

3. How many people have you been intimate with.

I’m guessing you don’t have children and you were not married etc.

These questions are valid, the longer you have been together or known the person the longer the return to life without them generally.

The fewer people you have been intimate with the harder you’ll find this transition and if you make this transition too quickly some can even think of their ex during sex.

I’ll respond on receiving your answers as I will have a greater understanding of your position.

14JDPO · Answer

Depending on how long you were with him, it may take some time to emotionally and mentally move on - when we lose anything - whether through break up or death, or whatnot, we all go through a grief period, and it is different for everyone. Give yourself some grace. Diverge your attention into hobbies, go on a vacation, spend time with family and friends. Invest more in the lives of your family and friends.

Labokachulaa · Answer

The best thing you can do is give yourself time. It sounds like you're still grieving the relationship. Most of us have been there. I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. I wish I knew the words that could bring you some comfort.

How long were you seeing him? Maybe your connection to him was a lot stronger than you've realized and that's what it causing you to hold on?

lightbulb27 · Answer

should have taken time away from dating to suffer in pain and misery to get over it. no w you enabled yourself... so stop dating.

get a new perspective of him and you that is no longer based upon imaginary BS, and more oriented in truth instead of lies you tell yourself.

... or go to the frontline in ukraine for a few months. constant fear of death and shelling will cause you to forget him.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Just give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship; don’t date and just focus on being by yourself for a while. I guess it really depends on what you are missing about the guy, but generally I would say that you just need to give yourself more time to heal.

spiritGirl13 · Answer

Get to know yourself. Figure out why or what is wrong with you that you still have feelings for him. You may fine is because you want to control him or you mess him worshiping you. Once you find the reason why you’re still missing him, let it go and live your life.

Anonymous · Answer

You have to remember that he is happy chilling living his life and you aren’t? Don’t do that you are more important than him way more important why give him this gift of you still worrying about him for what.. forget him for real don’t give a shit about someone who doesn’t love you

ZackBan · Answer

First if dating others is not working you need to stop. Stay single for a while. Rebuild a new normal without him and then think about bringing someone into that

SpokenTruth · Answer

That's a somewhat similar question that I just asked a few minutes ago and your dilemma is a good question. I had the same issue you have only I didn't date.

nawtee_me · Answer

who are you dating? If you are looking for someone like him then you will see him in everyone you date and make it harder to forget him. You need to look for someone unlike he was so that you see the person you are daring and not you ex...

Ninania · Answer

Find the root of your attachment to him. It's likely not even about him, but a need he fulfilled inside you.

Sailormoon95 · Answer

I've had that happen to me. The only thing to do is to focus on your dreams and ambitious, become successful and famous one day and then maybe one day Mr. Right will come along.

Jltakk · Answer

Never had a relationship, but I'd assume its best to wait things out. Do not jump into another relationship until you truly feel that you are ready to move on.

Tracker1958 · Answer

Most kids in a marriage are the kids from an ex boyfriend and not the husband's kids. This is why men should get a DNA test on all his kids.

Oddi_211 · Answer

5 months? It‘s been more than 1,5 years for me and I‘m just starting to get over it

AmeerX · Answer

You will forget him. Don't think about him too much

Songomatic · Answer

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Danmanly · Answer

Maybe guys are different, but I stopped missing her as soon I was I bed with another woman

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

It takes time, youlm get there eventually

Tina19 · Answer

Date someone more better than him

Jamie05rhs · Answer

First of all, why did you break up?

Anonymous · Answer

🤣🤣🤣

jimmy2 · Answer

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Its been five months ago and I can't forget him even when Im dating with others what to do?

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