I don’t feel loved unless my partner is obsessed with me. How do I get reframe my mindset and look for a healthy love?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I date people I assume if they’re not obsessed with me they don’t really value or rely on me. Or that they’ll leave me for another option because they most likely have everyone all over them (yuck)

I’ll actively reject healthy men with boundaries because I always think they’ll never treat me special enough to make me feel loved.

Because of this I always end up in unhealthy relationship with men who are lonely and miserable and cling to me. It feels good until it doesn’t. Eventually we’re both miserable. So obviously that’s not working out…

How can I reframe my idea of love and start seeking out healthy non obsessive relationships?

[Guy13]

Stay single for two years. Time away will fix that. Self absorbed.

[Carolus]

It can be a challenge, but with time and effort, it can be achieved. It matters on how bad you want to change it, so focus.

One cannot do the same thing and expect different results, learn from your past experiences and identify what is applicable in reality versus your heart desires. NOT ALL WHAT WE DESIRE IS APPLICABLE IN REALITY SO, BE OPEN TO LIVE WITH IT.