How do I stop being so clingy when dating? He has taken 5 hours to respond and I freak out?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say I’m AWFULLY clingy. It’s more than I’m very very paranoid about abaondonment which makes me cling onto the person. Im dating someone now and for example today he has taken 5 hours to reply and still hasn’t and stuff like this really bugs me but he is out and we’ve only been dating for 2 weeks. I just get so worked up and anxious about abanonment. I don’t want to put this all on him so soon he’s gonna get scared off and it will push him away? I don’t freak out to him I just freak out to myself but it dosent feel nice. I don’t want to keep living like this though in this cycle of fear of someone leaving and being so clingy. I haven’t shown him my clingy side yet i come across as very laid back but in reality I just wanna call him and see him everyday.

[Guy13]

Today, you need to decide who is going to lead. You are struggling for control in a classic battle of dating wits. This is normal within the first month and either you two get synchronized or the relationship ends. Ultimately, only you can manage your mind, emotion, and behavior.

How about thinking of it like this: If you two are in the gym and you're on elliptical at high intensity running 20 over suggested heartbeat/speed. He's on the bike cruising, music in, with a look of horror on his face. "We're so different... not even close to the same vibe.. back to music and no eye contact" OR out dancing and everything is burn sexual, high nervous energy movement, and he's working in the slow groove buried in the fast chaotic club song.

You are coming off as a desperate dater and the first sign of such a one is Ms. Clingy. If he has any sense of energy coming from "partner" then he is feeling stressed, therefore, putting a longer response time and distance between you two.

Two sentence texts... we might read three then the brain shuts off... and never ending nervous emotional release ends in Ghosted.

Let him talk. If one word answer two or three times then, "I'm going to let you go and finish whatever you are doing" He obviously is not into it at that time. Wait for him to text again. Good luck !!

[Anonymous]

Realize the futility of it. If you're overly clingy to a guy that doesn't like it then you'll chase him off with your insecurity. Buy if your fears are well founded it's still pointless. Because he has minimal interest if Amy. And it ain't going to matter whether you're clingy or not. He's still going to live.

No, the best course of action is to pick a worthwhile guy to begin with. If you've done that you have no need to fear.

[Opinion Owner]

Minimal interest anyway*

[Opinion Owner]

Still going to leave*

[humanearth]

You sound like you have trust issues. Work on that

[chicosuave]

just get busy.