Hello - Can someone help me in this dating situation please? Am I being Clingy?

Question

I’ve been seeing this guy for a bit now. He begged for like months to see me but I didn’t since apparently he cheated on all his girlfriends which I didn’t like the sound of until he literally booked something so I had no choice. I went and I’m glad I went and enjoyed it. He’s 26 and I’m 22 so it’s a fine age gap I’d say.

But he’s always partying and doing drugs and drinking and I don’t like it? He’s a hard worker but I just don’t like it? Throughout the weekend we probably exchange like 10 messages since he’s out and stuff - But am I being needy here honestly since he has a life? I can’t really stop him from doing that can I? I’m not even his girlfriend. But I’m thinking of the future and I wouldn’t like it? How do I not care about this? I’m really good at not showing that I care I haven’t shown once but it does get to me deep down?

Does this mean he isn’t right for me and I should leave it am I being needy since we aren’t even together? Should I expect us to talk every moment of the day or is this just clingy behaviour here and I should expect less since we aren’t official? Am I expecting too much too soon since it’s been a month?

Changiis07 · Accepted Answer

You are not being needy but yes you should change your standards. He checks off a lot of things many women wouldn't think of long term. He goes to a lot of parties and nothing good can come of that because he will more than likely be talking to other girls. He cheated on his past girlfriends he will keep doing it. Ig he isn't trying to get to know you, take you out on dates and spend time with you, call you then you should really be aware and careful of even trying anything else with him. You are very smart for thinking of the future with someone like him and trust me with everything you mentioned drugs and drinking don't lead to anything good

nspencer · Accepted Answer

Honestly since you don’t like certain qualities about him you should let it go romantically. If your already wanting things to change and your not even with him that’s not healthy for either of you. Realistically too you guys can’t talk non stop during the day since life happens, jobs and responsibilities etc. Do I think a couple should be talking a few times a day to check up and ask how their days are going if they can’t see each other.. definitely but the number of times has to be realistic.

Ironic_Method · Accepted Answer

He sounds like a recipe for heartbreak if you ask me. I wouldn't pursue him when there are others that don't chest and excessively indulge in drinking and doing drugs.