Long story short, my date went well and we had amazing chemistry. She is in the Army and I am a veteran myself and current law enforcement. She starts texting at the end. I jokingly state "Let me guess. Chain of command about to ruin this?". She laughed and said no, but she is breaking up with her "boyfriend".
That instantly pissed me off. I told her that, as a soldier, she should have more integrity than to date someone while in a relationship. She said "I wanted to see if we meshed well before I break up with him". I told her we are through, that I will pay for what we just had and then I better not ever see her again.
I look her up after the date and see she is actually married to a Marine who served in a unit with my best friend. I could have easily just walked away, but I decided to call her chain of command instead. Under UCMJ, adultery is punishable by court martial. She is now facing an OTH discharge. She has been sending me nasty texts about how she is losing her career over me. I replied "Us military members take oaths to be better than most people morally. Your lack of integrity disgusts me, shows me how selfish you are and someone like that is a liability in war. That's why I spoke up". Did I overreact?
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I dunno I feel like you did overreact? Cheating is absolutely disgusting, especially when you're married, but I'm a bit iffy when it comes to ruining someone's career over it. I didn't know that you could get court martialed for adultery in the military, that sounds very outdated. But yeah, she could potentially be dishonourably discharged so of course she's mad. In my opinion, you should've left it alone, this was something that should've just been between her and her husband. Plus you only went on one date, you don't have a say
Had I left it alone, he would not have known and you know how family courts are to fathers.
okay and? this doesn't mean that he'll automatically get full custody over his kids - and you just went and fucked up her entire career for this, you had no right
Yes you WAAAAAAAAAAY overreacted. I think your feeling about it wasn't wrong. But you didn't need to report to her chain. Come on man. You served. She didn't actually hurt you. You screwed up her life and possibly his FOREVER. Her DD214 will have that on it. I served too -- 22 years -- so I know what you're talking about. Like, technically you can put somebody on report or give them NJP for a uniform violation, but you don't. Same here. Yes, you WAY overreacted.
His career is fine. He was the victim. I knew this Marine and knew he would have a hard time getting custody of his children. Family courts are hard on fathers so he needed every edge he could get.
As for her, maybe I did not have to say anything, but ask yourself this: Would you want someone so selfish in the foxhole with you when your life is on the line? If she cheats on her own family, what incentive does she have to uphold her oaths and protect her brothers and sisters in arms?
I don't like adultery. And, yes, it's a violation of the UCMJ. It's bad, yes.
However, I don't accept the premise that cheating/adultery automatically means a person can't fight, can't be a good Soldier/Sailor/Airman/Marine/Coast Guardsman or can't uphold the oath. Countless of our fellow vets were adulterers. I'm not justifying their behavior but they were good brothers and sisters in arms. I had adulterers fight fires and flooding with me and we went to general quarters together. They had my back and they upheld the uniform. Admiral Rickover didn't automatically kick out adulterers from the Submarine Service and the Nuclear Navy -- if he had faith in those members to serve, so can I.
Yes, I think you did. But it sounds like it’s too late to put that genie back in the bottle.
Possibly. I've seen how family courts are to unprepared fathers though and you know military men especially have it difficult when shit goes wrong with their families and children get involved. I felt this Marine deserved his chance to prepare for this battle.