Doesn't an age difference bother guys? I am 28 and I have a male coworker who is 21 who is interested in me?

[Anonymous]

I know I'm attractive not to toot my own horn or anything. The guy did say I look way younger than 28 which is something I get often. He's still interested in me. I'm just surprised. I wouldn't date a guy 7 years older than me personally 4 years is a max. I'll be frank I feel like he's too young for me and he's probably not mature enough mentally. I'm a serious girl and if I am going to date a man, I'd want something serious and thinking about marriage down the road. I don't see that with a 21 year old. I just see a young guy who is barely starting his life out and I feel like he doesn't realize that I'm not looking to just have fun. I could be judging a book by its cover but that's how I feel what are your thoughts? Also surprised he's still interested 😨

[Paulalove98]

Everyone has their preference. Some men prefer people their age, some prefer older women, some younger women, and some men it just doesn’t matter. Same for women with age preferences if they have any. Personally, I’ve always found myself more attracted to younger men because I like guys with baby faces, it’s just my taste. If you know of or google the actor Ryan Lee, he is 26 but looks like he’s still 22-23 but has a young face. He’s pretty much my type and luckily close to my age since I’m 24, however I see lots of men my age too or even 22-23 with beards and old looking faces due to probably heavy alcohol or drugs even! Im open to also dating older men and have crushed on some but I couldn’t picture myself with a man twice my age. It’s too weird and creepy for me really. I also look younger than my age so college aged men tend to hit on me sometimes. To each their own, take it as a compliment I mean I would but you don’t have to date him if you feel bothered by the age difference.

[Paulalove98]

PS there’s this girl who’s 25 years old and looks 21 and this guy we work with is 19 and thinks me and her look younger. She just smiles and takes it as a compliment and I do the same, I’m just flattered and take it like I’m doing a good job with taking care of myself lol and I’m sure she thinks the same. He never has tried anything creepy or weird with us, he’s just a chill guy basically.

[Paulalove98]

My point is to some men, younger or older, an attractive woman is an attractive woman whether she’s 19, 25, 28, 33,40 etc.

[Asker]

True, got to be grateful for looking younger. Is it it crazy when you're going everyone is older than you. Then when you are older everyone is younger than you. Makes dating hard.

[Asker]

Oops sorry mad typos in there, I didn't proofread. Let me rewrite all that. Is it crazy when you're young everyone is older than you. Then when you are older everyone is younger than you.

[Asker]

That's true. Is that the same for women though? I feel like if our personalities don't click/ no compatibilities, I won't date him even if he is hot.

[Paulalove98]

No I definitely understand where you’re coming from for sure. At my job it’s a mixed range when it comes to peoples ages actually tho. Some people are in their 20s like me, there’s a few in their 30s, one lady is in her 40s,& another one is in her 70s I’m not joking! They don’t discriminate on age there of course, they do have a few college aged teens too like 2 guys and 2 girls, so it ranges but I can most relate to the girl who’s close to my age since she’s 25 only a year older so we’re good friends but I do have a female friend who’s also 33. I guess it’s more mentality for me than age depending how I can intellectually connect with a person since I once had a friend who was 18 when I was 23 as well. Compatibility plays a big factor in any sort of relationship so of course I agree while a guy can be hot whether he’s the same age, older, or younger I wanna click with him too. I will tell you I’ve dated men in their early 30s who turned out to be players, one only was a gentlemen and my ex boyfriend was 18 when I was 22 and was loyal to the core and we shared lots in common still. I know 4 years isn’t a big gap and logically we wanna date someone on the same page as us sometimes younger guys can mature faster, sometimes someone our age is exactly what we need, or sometimes an older guy will be mature and ready, I think it’s dependent on the guy but I don’t just date younger guys because their hot, I guess I’m a wild child still inside and have a teen heart still but way more mature than I was 18 and 21.

[kylee2437]

I’d say he’s more interested in smashing than dating. Huge difference. Don’t jump to conclusions without getting to know him more

[Asker]

Ew he's like a baby lol he's so young

[kylee2437]

That’s just how they are lol 21 is pretty young even for me

[Curmudgeon]

Some lonely young men will find that lonely older women will hook up with them, known as "cougar chasing". No the relationship does typically not last, but he gets the experience he craves, she gets to feel young again (common after a divorce or other life disturbing event). So for those people it is a win-win.

Now how about you? If you are getting "baby rabies", then definitely turn this young man down and seek an older man ready for family starting. But I do not know your situation, nor his.

If he is incredibly precocious and has a great career lined up, he might be wise beyond his tender years, although odds are that your presuppositions and judgements here are correct.

[Asker]

I don't have babies rabies 😅 let's start out slow here I'm not ready for kids lol. I'm raised old school, maybe not too many girls are like me but I'm religious waiting for marriage. If you are wondering why I'm still single? I have yet to find a guy who respects me waiting. So that's why I'm like looking at this kid with eyes hide open he doesn't even know how much of a serious girl I am. He thinks I'm some girl that has casual sex all over the place... I'm not like that.

[Curmudgeon]

@Asker Odds are he is a lonely young man who obviously wants to dip his wick, but if he is very inexperienced or virginal, he may very well fantasize about marrying his First True Love. It takes a former one to know one.

[teamvic]

Well yes It does for me, but maybe he just wants to clap the cheeks. Maybe he'd be open for a relationship, but i don't know if he'd be willing to settle down with you because 7 years is a lot

Same as the other way around, for me anyway, if I'm the older one and she's younger by a LEGAL age gap then maybe we could fuck but to stay with her just doesn't seem right

[Asker]

Oh girl he barking up the wrong tree I'm waiting for marriage

[teamvic]

Mhmm gurl💅

[Asker]

Lol 😂😆 you are funny! You have a great sense of humor.

[teamvic]

Haha thank you I try I try😌😂

[Fireguy17]

That isn't much of an age difference.
It could be 7 or closer to 6 years depending on when your birthdays are.
As you get older the age thing means less.
My wife and I are 9 years apart.
We didn't know each other's age when we first started dating.

[SnowedIn]

I think you're attaching way too much to age. @kylee2437 and @paulalove98 have some very smart things to say. That said, to some extent (not all) age is a number. Figure out if you two work together. You might find a guy who is 28 but less mature than the 21 year old you're describing. I think your comment about books and covers is spot on. My point is that you're not obligated, but I would reject guys based on age.

[SnowedIn]

I just re-read this and I typoed the last sentence. It should have ended, "... but I would NOT reject guys based on age."

And, finally, I never really answered the first question in your title question and that is, no, an age difference doesn't bother all guys, particularly not a 7 year gap when both are in their 20s.

[FunkyMonkee]

That's ONLY 7 years! That's not much of an age difference!

[Asker]

Oh really? 😯

[FunkyMonkee]

Yes! Really! My parents were 10 years apart. Jerry Lewis's last wife (when he was in his late 60's) was about half his age.

[Asker]

Wow!! That's crazy!!! 😲🤯 Were they compatible though?

[FunkyMonkee]

My parents? Very much so! They stayed together until dad died just after their 49th anniversary. I don't know if Jerry stayed with his wife but I get the feeling he didn't. He wouldn't even stick by his first son, Gary after the `70's or `80's!

[Asker]

I'm glad your parents are still together, those are the really cute relationships that everyone wants. Especially the ones that last.

I'm shocked Jerry wouldn't stay with his wife half his age. On top of it to abandon his son. That's awful.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, it is! But, from what I'm just weeks ago hearing, he's a really sick son of a bitch!!

[CuriousMufuxka]

Ok let me introduce you to the age loop. Between 18 and 24 women chase older men. After 30 they become cougars and have the male youth in their claws. Male youth get older and paid and the loop begins again.

[Paulalove98]

I’m 24 but I don’t chase much older men.. the oldest is 10 years older. I prefer younger guys more. Am I mini cougar?

[CuriousMufuxka]

@Paulalove98 Well do you mean much by age or number? Either does fit into the formula lol

[Paulalove98]

I like guys 18-22 a lot. I’ll date someone my age as well if I find them attractive even like 26-29 year old guys but I’m saying not all young women in your age category are chasing much much older men lol. My friend is 25 and her boyfriend is 21. She also feels the same.

[Paulalove98]

My point is I can’t picture myself with a man twice my age. It’s weird to me and just creepy.. I’ve only went with the 10 year rule and still do even when I turn 25, 35 is my limit if I am looking for a boyfriend

[CuriousMufuxka]

@Paulalove98 Lol results may vary!

[Paulalove98]

Nah I feel that, I am open minded but I just don’t wanna be with someone too much older because I like to share common interests and be in similar life stages lol. I’ve went on dates with guys in their early to mid 30s before it actually wasn’t bad or different as I expected it!

[Gummy_Cluster]

Wow, this is a complicated one. So you're attractive, and he's attracted to you? Crazy world we live in.

[Asker]

It's the age difference though🥲

[Gummy_Cluster]

There's 84% chance he just wants to dance with you in the sheets. And I'm sure you know that. Watch the movie "MILF." The cougs were on the prowl, and had a lot of fun. But one cub caught feelings, and he wanted "forever." (A Randy Travis song)
So it happens. So why not just roll the dice for awhile and see where it goes?

[Anonymous]

Not really, I prefer older women and can say that I've met 30, 40 even 50 years olds I wouldn't turn down and I'm half that last number

[Anonymous]

It varies on the guy. I once turned a woman down because she was 4 years. Younger than me. But as I've gotten older I care less about age than life experience.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

It's only a problem if YOU want it to be a problem. Don't worry about what others think. It's what YOU want

[Still-alive]

some guys sure. sounds like this guy doesn't mind.

why question it? lol just enjoy it

[Stevefiveo]

When I was 18, I dated a 28 year old woman. It worked out well for us.

[misogynistic_pig]

I don't like older women.