When a guy says 'we could be friends and see what happens?' How often is it the case that he wants anything more?

[Anonymous]

Is he looking to get close to me for a relationship or is he friend zoning me but making out like there could be more?

[MrOracle]

With only rare exceptions, single men (or men not getting laid frequently) are NOT looking to be "just friends" with women. They might say that, but their motivation is relationship-oriented 20-30% of the time and sexually oriented the other 70-80% of the time.

If he's already in a happy, healthy relationship, or if he's attractive and gets plenty of women already, then it's somewhat more possible for him to be interested in just being friends, but even that is more the exception than the rule.

[Rosexøxø]

There’s no other reason a healthy male would want to be close to a female.

The percentages of males who see females in a non-sexual way is somewhat low.

Even gay guys, sometimes, are able to “admire their lady friends.”

Not always. I wouldn’t say deliberately wanting to be with you- it’s his way of just kinda “seeing what happens,” and if the opportunity should unfold/ present itself.

If he sees you like a sister/ in a non-sexual way, or was raised like that, (believes that men and women should and could be friends), then he could see you truly as a ‘friend.’

It’s more like a “blind leap of faith” to know if he sees you as a true friend or not, so just test the attraction levels or so.

Look for any signs, or hints that would suggest liking, but if you like him- could just ask, by the way.

[Cynicaldreamer]

After reading some of the responses, obviously I must have done something -very- wrong with the guys that told me that!

The last guy I was interested in and asked out immediately friendzoned me but said, "We'll see where it goes..."

Spoiler: it didn't go anywhere : He thought we made better friends than anything more. He enjoyed spending time with me, but didn't see me as more than a friend. He even offered to help me fix up my dating site if that says anything...

In other words, there are ALWAYS exceptions. He might just using the friendship to feel things out, or he might genuinely want a friendship. Just approach things with low expectations.

[virtue2332]

He's not quite sure if he wants to sleep with you yet. That or he could be doing something I've done before and had success with because saying something like that would create a challenge for her. She accepted the challenge and I enjoyed having a hot girl pursue me. It was exciting all the way up until she got what she wanted then moved on to the next challenge. You know him more than we do so have fun figuring it out or give us more insight about what kind of person he is. He could very well mean exactly what he is saying. Most guys don't speak in coded messages that need dechipering like women do. I'm direct 95 percent of the time and mean what I say. Guys could chime in and give thier opinion on what percentage of what they say is the literal meaning of what they said

[Asker]

Interesting. Thank you for this, it's my ex. He self sabotages A LOT. He often breaks things of when we have disagreements, often admitting to me that he uses the argument as a reason to leave. Its the straw that broke the cammels back, and he's said that he realises he does it so then he can end it.
He's uncertain about our future together because I've applied to train in other locations so I might have to relocate. Although I've applied locally to where we live.
He's 40, I'm 29. He wants to settle down etc. I think because I'm about to endeavour on a 3 year training programme, that he is thinking about when I would have children. However I've always tried to discuss his concerns and talk about that (taking mat leave mid way through etc).
I've also wanted to discuss every scenario regarding what might happen. But essentially I want a guy who wants to be with me, who will do whatever needed to make that happen. Besides if two people want to be with one another, they will. I don't see these things as huge issues but I understand he is thinking practically. I personally think he's afraid to commit due to the uncertainty and breaks up with me because that's what he wants a lot of the time, but unfortunately we are attached and I do think he loves me. I just don't know why he won't choose me, irregardless of the future. I also think he likes my affection and attention. He's said I'm the hottest girl he's dated and he doesn't often meet women he has a decent sexual spark or connection with. He said we connect emotionally too and that he can be himself around me.
Maybe he just likes having me there. I don't know, but a part of me likes to think he is afraid to love again... he has had negative experiences in his previous relationships and his mum and dad's marriage failed which he says has affected his view on marriage too

[Asker]

That sounded wrong. What I mean is, I am hopeful that he does want to be with me. He says he does, even when we argue he says he misses me and wishes I was with him. We never truly fall out... so I am hoping he is in love with me too. Not that I am happy he is 'afraid to love' that's not how I meant it. I just hope that him breaking things off and self sabotaging isn't related to not wanting to be with me. But infact a defense mechanism or something because of how he truly feels

[OlderAndWiser]

He could be hoping to move towards a sexual relationship, with you assuming this means something to him, and later he reminds you that he said "just friends."

[AviatorTom]

Saying that is a hint that he'd like more than friendship, but he's not feeling it yet.

[Avicenna]

He's leaving the door open without committing

[Chaddi]

I think that it is an advantage over the openly declared pursuit of immediate amorous relations. The truth of the matter depends on a lot of things depends on the guy his personality depends on his age and for today's society that's probably the best request you can get. You know romantic love comes and it goes but friendship is the one that can actually last forever. If you build your relationship on that it's probably going to be a winner. Even if you have to part you'll still remain friends so you don't lose all the work and all the common experiences.

I sound like Dr Phil :-)

[Anonymous]

Lol he’s just looking to hook up. He left out the WB part of friends with benefits. Even if he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship, most men who are “friends” w cute, hot chicks want to bang that muff. He just threw that part in about seeing what happens as a way to make you think something could happen as far as a relationship. But for him seeing what happens meant hooking up.

[Anonymous]

Men are pretty clear if they are serious about you. I had a few guys do this and we ended just having sex. He was using me for sex. He said similar things that he wasn't serious about me. I wouldn't waste your time if you want something serious. Get out before you get attached and it's mare difficult. I learned through experience.

[dragoblack]

It means he finds you attractive but if you end up being a toxic person he will cut you out of his life with no issue, on the other hand if you can at least be friends with him, he may develop feelings for you and he sees you as a person who he can have a healthy relationship with.
Relationships don't need to be rushed into.
Rushing into relationships is how people end up with toxic partners, then not understanding what went wrong, when they didn't even bother to get to know the person.

[Anonymous]

When guys say “let’s see how it goes”, “go with the flow”, and those types of remarks: it’s a sure recipe for you on his back back burner. When a male is indecisive like that, I always get rid of him. Then in a few weeks or months it’s followed by a “hey”.


Byeeeee loser

[benjydyn]

è facile pensare che voglia l'amicizia con benefici ma può anche significare che vuole capire e osservare cosa può nascere in questa amicizia vivendola attivamente

[SexyRedd1966]

I think relationships that last, they're friends first, so maybe he just wants to see how it goes instead of jumping right into a relationship with you

[Fireguy17]

you are on the bench.
kind of like in reserve in case he hits a dry streak, then you are on deck.
But he could really be a nice guy and I am completely wrong with my first thoughts, not that I was ever like that when I was young.

[fruity101]

It sounds like this guy is looking for sex instead of an actual relationship. I have had guy friends who straight up told me they want a relationship with me and then I have had guy friends who have said "we could see where things go" and all they wanted was sex.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think that’s friend zoning
Good relationship lasting ones start of as let’s be friends and see how it goes..
don’t think much about it and maybe go out to dates with him watch a movie etc

[Asker]

He's my ex

[Opinion Owner]

Hm that’s tricky if he is your ex and saying let’s be friends and see what it goes sounds like he still likes you but isn’t sure. Did he break up with you or you did with him?
Usually an ex downs t even talk to exes unless they are good fiends like hi and bye or if they have a child together. But to say “ let’s see where it goes” it’s like he is hoping in the future you are together.
It’s up to you really
It if you still like him tell him and if he said again like let’s see where it goes etc maybe he is acting nice and doesn’t won’t to hurt you?

[midnightmoon05]

You are his backup plan. He is “hanging out” with other girls. If those don’t work out…you are around for him to play with.

[FilmGuy93]

The best way to interpret a comment like that is "I like you and see potential, but I don't have a good enough read on you to know if I want something more just yet."

[KathrynTaylor]

He’s keeping you on the back burner in case he doesn’t find someone better. It’s happened to me before.

[DarkCarousel]

Seems like he’s friendzoning you as a backup OR he wants to sleep with you and not be serious.
If you were special to him, he’d make it known.

[Haha456]

He is trying to be friends with you and see if he likes you eventually. If he says he wants a date, it will put too much pressure on you both.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Go by his body language and see how he treats you and go by his actions too and take things from there.

[Jamie05rhs]

It probably means he wants to be "friends" with benefits, and he wants you to think that he is leaving open the possibility for a relationship. So that way you will have sex with him.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s friendzoning you but leaving the door open for more

[JPresidente]

It sounds like he is friend zoning you. Guys handle their friend zone differently than women do though, keep that in mind.

[TheAfrikan]

Incase you two happen yo connect pretty well and havin the kind of similar vibes next to each other then. He might change his mind to make you a girlfriend.

[TJ1892]

in my opinion very rarely anything beyond them using you for there own ego driven ways. I could be wrong though.

[CanadianCityGirl]

The last guy who told me that said it so I would believe we're only hanging out as friends while he was actually wanting more and seeing if chemistry could build up.

[Anonymous]

Usually doesn’t want anything more if a guy says that, same thing happens when women say it, guys will stick around until they find a girlfriend that they want more with

[Iron_Man]

Most men always want sex be careful keep an eye out for being used

[CuriousMufuxka]

Sounds to me like he smartened up to female tactics ;)

[Anonymous]

He want to check you how you're on bed if good than he will make you private prostitute I mean his girlfriend...😊

[Anonymous]

They always want more.

[Anonymous]

He just wants sex or have you as a backup.

[pervgirl]

He wants sex... but doesn't have enough game

[TrustOfWorthington]

He wants sex, nothing more.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

About as often as when a woman says the same

[KrakenAttackin]

He wants a fuck buddy.

[In_Trance]

He wants you as a backup plan

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

5-10%

[spartan55]

He wants NSA sex.

[jimmy2]

He lying talking with his dick

[Anonymous]

I’d say they are really good.

[EaterPeter]

Good for you.

[briigantexx]

Yea it could be more