Boyfriend of 3 months who ghosted me quite often asked me for a loan. After my hurtful comment he left me. Was I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I wanted to add a bit more detail: Me and my boyfriend have been dating since 3–4 months. Before that I knew him as a friend for a couple of months. We live in a long distance relationship. I have met him where he lives and came back to my country. After that he admitted to me that he is in love with me. We started a relationship. After 1–2 weeks, he started to ghost me regularly, answering me after 5 days, 1 week or sometimes almost 2 weeks. He would only call me once a month. I have expressed often my disappointment but he never changed. He told me that he has financial issues and that he is busy and has problems. Suddenly he started to call me and text me more the last week. Then he asked me for 1000$ and i gave him half of the amount. He then again started to not reply me anymore. I then became angry, told him that he is very cruel and rude and that I feel more of a man in this relationship than he is like running behind him, providing etc. He told me that after that comment i should forget him, he will not ever talk to me his whole life, he is only quiet now because he has debts on me now and that if i was a guy he d have killed me but as i am a woman the only way is to leave me and that I have lost all my values in his eyes. So that is it

[Guy13]

Wow this guy is a real piece of work and obviously not mature. You guys were even friends beforehand too? So, 6 months of growing together and he suddenly ghosted. It sounds like he has another woman to me. I would get out and stay…especially if I was ghosted and then asked for money.

I think your comment was right on and I woukd stay away. End of story for me.

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment. Yes, right after we started dating he just started to ghost me, sometimes he wouldn’t reply to me 3 days sometimes a week sometimes 12 days. He didn't call me a whole month either. I texted him during that time all the time he would just not reply but post stories on instagram, whatsapp etc where he is enjoying with his friends. Every time he d text me again he d just say to me I missed you, i am sad, things are not what they seem to be. I always told hurt I am hurt but he d just not change. And then suddenly he texted me and called me a lot when he needed something. After that he suddenly asked me for 1000$ first it was that he is in problems (debts) , then he told me his friends mom has cancer and then he told me it was for his personal expenses. He told me he d pay back until 26/4. After I gave him the money, he again told me the whole day he is busy and the next day he didn’t reply either. so I told him that I am more of a man than him and that his behavior is rude, cold and cruel. And then he just broke up with me.

[Guy13]

Good ridden... I think it is a hidden blessing.

[Asker]

I somehow had a bad conscious after i told him that “I am more man than you”. He picked that and told me that after this sentence we will never talk again and its done. I don't know. Either I should not have sent it or if i sent it anyway i shouldn’t have talked like that. Makes me feel bad tbh

[Guy13]

Okay, well don't use that phrase again, however, you were not out of line in my book. That could have been explored to better understand if he really cares.

[Zayed_]

He sounds like an Asshole..

You should learn from Stewie Griffin on how to get your money back lol

Anyways, It’s your gain because you got yourself respect and ours.

stay like the great lady you are.

[Ms_Facesitter]

3 months, asking for money, and left. Yep you were wrong, he scammed you and left to do the same to somebody else probably.

[Asker]

Yeah you are right. He left me after the comment I made. I wonder if I hadn’t said that we would be still talking. He just doesn’t respond to me anymore since 5 days no matter how much i write him. He told me he will return the money in April and respond to my rude comments then

[alina177]

Tell him to give your money back and fuck off. And that you found a real man not a parasite surviving on women's money.

[humanearth]

That guy is P. O. S. better off forgetting about him.

You most likely never going to see the money again anyways.

Return the favor, Ghost his ass

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion. Yesterday he texted me telling me that i should never text him again and he never forgives a person till his death who insults him. He told me there is only this money between us and as soon as he paid it to me everything will be over. And then he blocked me.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Sounds like a scam artist. Well, at least you were out five hundred and not one thousand. That's the type of thing that had me weary of online dating in the first place. You never know who is on the other side.

[Asker]

But i have met him in real life, we met each other in person and it became a long distance relationship afterwards…but he just didn't treat me right anyway. Who would ghost someone he allegedly loves for 12 days.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

A scam artist. You meeting them just adds to their scam.

[AydenHazor]

He was using you all along, building up a "relationship" so he could scam you out of money

[Asker]

Yeah i think so too. He talked many times about money. “You are richer than me”, “how much money do you have in your bank account”, “arent you a millionaire” etc. He even told me in the beginning “you are such a good hearted person, I have never ever seen such a good person like you, if someone would tell you send me money you would do it”.

[AydenHazor]

I'm sorry that happened to you. A good rule of thumb is to never send or give money to anyone online.

[RingOfFire]

He's a scammer. Cut him off and move on.

[JustinTheGreat]

You’re not wrong. Fuck that dude.

[Asker]

I just had some bad conscious due to my comment. I thought maybe i was the reason for the breakup. But again, if it was me, I would never break up due to such a statement. I guess he never loved me anyway and was there to take advantage of me

[JustinTheGreat]

Exactly. He was ignoring you and only came back around when he wanted money. He’s just trying to make you feel guilty and like you’re the bad person here, but really he deserved it

[Asker]

Yeah you are right, he makes me feel guilty after he got what he wanted what is the purpose to talk to me anyway. He ignored me for weeks and weeks before too.

[slatyb]

What a loser.

[pethouse]

Find him and get your money back!!!

[KatieSims24]

Scammer.