He liked me, I started liking his friend instead. He got to know this & got offended. Now, he's been behaving coldly around me. Do I say sorry? How?

[Anonymous]

R texted me first time to ask for class notes. His friend (S) texted the same day asking "R is msging you, right?" That's how I made a guess he liked me. Turns out my guess was right.

I didn't like R, but started liking S instead. I told our mutual friends in the class to ask for advice about the situation.

When R got know I told others about him having a crush on me and that I like S instead, he got offended. He's been behaving cold since then. It makes me feel sorry for him.

One of my cf is saying I should apologize, the other one is saying not to.

Should I apologize? And how exactly should I apologize to him, if yes?

[Guy13]

It’s a No Win for you ‼️

Offended is likely an understatement…. Move on and stop breaking up their friendship. All they going to do is talk about your assets, pass you off and between, and then 🤣 all about you.

It says you are Adult age. I assume you know this already?

[justkelly]

yes im very much aware, but i can't move on if he is still making a big deal out of it (which he rightfully can) but its been months, and he just makes these obvious hints from time to time that he hates me

one time during class the teacher was giving him a pencil which happened to be mine and he said he didn't want it and threw it on the table in front of everyone and everyone there knew the reason (which was because of me)

he also refused to sit next to me even though it was the last seat, he made it pretty obvious to me and everyone else in the room.

a recent incident happened yesterday in the lift. me, him and 2 of his friends were in the lift, and there was space next to me, R said to his friend to stand next to me and his friend said 'why should I, you are the one who would love to stand there instead" and laughed, they said it like I am not there and can't hear anything, which made me feel even worse for I did.

the situation was also a little more complicated than that (about how it started) but It couldn't be mentioned due to less availability of space

[Guy13]

@justkelly

Advanced Situationship 401

[justkelly]

welp :')

[elew4too]

Don't apologize. Just ask, "are you okay?" or "what's wrong?" and give him the floor. If he denies anything is wrong, say that you've noticed he's been cold lately; so you wanted to address any issues he has with you. He's failing to communicate right now; so facilitate the communication that needs to occur. You've done nothing wrong. You're not obligated to like him back, and liking someone other than him is not grounds to dismiss you as a person entirely.

[justkelly]

yes, i want to say that but... the matter was a little more different and complicated than that.

one time during class the teacher was giving him a pencil which happened to be mine and he said he didn't want it and threw it on the table in front of everyone and everyone there knew the reason (which was because of me)

he also refused to sit next to me even though it was the last seat, he made it pretty obvious to me and everyone else in the room.

a recent incident happened yesterday in the lift. me, him an 2 of his friends were in the lift, and there was space next to me, R said to his friend to stand next to me and his friend said 'why should I, you are the one who would love to stand there instead" and laughed, they said it like I am not there and can't hear anything, which made me feel even worse for I did.

i need an apology for that.
but thanks for ur response

[justkelly]

hey, well all I can say is that telling everyone about it was wrong and if u haven't already apologized then you should, but it's totally up to you he is hurt and rightfully is but being disrespectful is not the way, approach him alone, he might say fuck off but try to tell him in a calm manner and explain the situation if he is still mad then understand. if he understands all well and goo but make sure to apologise ;)

[Iron_Man]

That’s what happens when you start liking his friend

[In_Trance]

Smh... move on

[Asker]

I can't... even though it's been long time, we meet everyday during classes and his coldness makes me feel sorry for him

[justkelly]

move on? well I can't do that if he keeps throwing my pencils, refuses to sit next to me (even though its the last seat), or even making obvious gestures towards his friends about me all while knowing I am there.