Should I apologize to him?

[Anonymous]

I have just started seeing this guy and I invited him over. We have been on a few dates. And I could tell he was trying to connect more physically since the most we have done is hold hands. I kept shying away and I could tell he was disappointed at the end of the night. Should I reach out and apologize? I feel bad since he was trying to progress the relationship and I shied away.

[SomothErgai]

Apologize? Ehh maybe. It depends on if you were leading him to think that sex (or whatever "intimacy" you're talking about) was going to happen and then never let it get there. Guys don't mind being teased as long as there is a payoff at the end.

Making a guy think there's going to be "intimacy" when you have zero intention of actually doing anything borders on cruel and is certainly mean and a bitchy thing to do.

If on the other hand you made it very clear from the beginning that intimacy was off the table then he only has himself to blame for expecting more. And in fact he should apologize to you if that's the case.

I suspect that you never actually made this clear to him. If you plan to keep seeing him. And you think you might have lead him on, then yes, apologize and then make it absolutely clear what your boundaries are.

If he wants to continue seeing you with that understanding then great. He now has the responsibility to check himself as he has agreed to your terms and conditions and accepted them willingly.

Consider though, that sex really isn't that big a deal. As long as you take the right precautions it's just something really fun to do and share together and there's no reason to have all these hangups about it. Just enjoy yourselves.

But that's just me and my opinion. Good luck

[Confucious900]

You don't have to feel bad at all. Is okay to feel shy. But as for connecting more physically goes it could mean a number of things. If he tried to kiss you, and you shied away I think you should talk about it. But remember guys mostly want one thing. If by connect more physically you mean sex, don't even feel bad. You have the right to say no till you are comfortable enough to go ahead. You say you just started seeing each other so it is okay to go slow at your own pace. If you really like this guy and he really likes and respects you both of you should be able to have a discussion openly about this how fast or how slow you want to go.

[sheikalana]

Nothing to apologize for. You're just dating if he's in a rush to do other stuff it's his problem.

[legman528]

Don't apologize if you didn't do anything wrong. Just explain to him why you acted that way and if he cares about you, he will understand and probably feel relieved.

[mistershy94]

don't ever apologize for feeling uncomfortable, it's your personal space and you have every right to it

[Avicenna]

yeah, I think you should

[Billlewis]

No, not at all.

[In_Trance]

It won't hurt you to talk about it

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him