How do I get over my dom?

[sunkissedwolfe]

My dom and I have been together for 6 months. In this time we hadn't really talked about being together a ls boyfriend and girlfriend too. He started mentioning that he was not into monogamy. I had mentioned at the start that seeing other people was a hard limit. We came to a point where things were OK but weird because we never had the what's next conversation. Last night, we had the conversation again, and I suggested that he cut me off so that he could do what he desires. He didn't try to keep me or talk to me about it. I'm crushed. For the first time, I felt safe and voluntarily vulnerable. What do I do?

[SnowedIn]

It's going to take time. I know that's easy for me to say. But that's the real right answer. You said you're on day one of bawling. That's okay. But one foot in front of the other. One hour/day at a time. Keep living your life and you'll find that you will get over your dom. And maybe find someone new.

[sunkissedwolfe]

I can do that😮‍💨. Don't know whether to socialize, which isn't my thing or just stay in till the random tears stop coming

[SnowedIn]

I think you can both; both are totally legit. It's probably going to be a few days of tears -- that's okay. Then maybe go to your favorite drink place and get your favorite drink. A little more each day.

Just don't stop living.

[sunkissedwolfe]

Definitely going to go to my favorite restaurant soon. Also... I signed up for tinder. I wouldn't mind a vanilla relation

[SnowedIn]

Go you! That's AWESOME!

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[sunkissedwolfe]

You totally deserve it

[Stevefiveo]

Just realize that he isn't for you and wasn't going to give you everything you needed. Find someone new. Good luck.

[sunkissedwolfe]

Yeah I've been trying to internalize that. Being angry would have been better

[Stevefiveo]

Everyone handles things differently. Handle it in a way that works for you. What has worked in the past for you?

[sunkissedwolfe]

I've never had a dom as an ex before. With vanilla relationships the breakup was sad sure but it wasn't painful and i got over them quickly. This time, I've been suckerpunched.

[Stevefiveo]

It sucks. I hear you. Even though he told he didn't want to be exclusive, you let your heart block that so you could be happy. But finally your brain got the message. I'm a Dom if you want to pm me and talk so more. (Hugs)

[sunkissedwolfe]

I would love that🥹. I'm on my way

[Stevefiveo]

Looking forward to it.

[Guy13]

Find one more compatible which is difficult to do especially if he is not skilled meeting both your physical and emotional needs. To some degree both need to occur.

[sunkissedwolfe]

You see that's what I'm scared of. I can only be physical with someone I connect to emotionally

[Summeroflove]

You must have gotten off the short bus

[dynamicyandere]

It sounds like you had a hard limit and he wasn’t willing to compromise.


It’s just an incompatibility, that’s all.


He respected your hard limit and decided it was best to part ways, as you suggested.


It may take some time to get over this, as with any relationship.


You’ll have to let go of him as well and set your mind on other things.


There are monogamous Doms out there that will treat you right.

You’ll just need to find each other.

With how invested you sound, you deserve a monogamous Dom who is equally invested in you as well, someone who won’t divide their attention between multiple subs.

I have a monogamous relationship with my sub, and I actually prefer it that way, so that I can put more time and energy into cultivating a closer and deeper bond with just her, rather than spread my time and attention too thin.

It’s important to know early on if you and your potential Dom share the same views and values when it comes to your relationship.

I wish you the best, and I hope you will be able to move on without your heart aching too much.

[sunkissedwolfe]

Thank you so much. This is just what I needed to hear. I really don't want to wallow but I don't want to put myself out there right now. I'm just going to focus on getting back to myself. Trying to unlearn habits I picked up as his sub.

I'm glad that you're in such a fulfilling relationship. That's something to look forward to.

[dynamicyandere]

You’re very welcome. I’m glad that my words brought you some comfort.

That sounds like a good plan. To allow yourself time to gather yourself and not jump into another relationship so quickly.

Not only will that be better for your own healing process, but going right into a new relationship would be unfair to your new Dom anyway, because you’ll be going into it with strong attachments to your ex Dom still.

You’ll need to let go, if you want to be able to fully give your heart and your submission to someone new.

Thank you. Yes, finding a good D/s match is very fulfilling.

I hope you’ll be able to find a great match for yourself as well when the time is right.

[sunkissedwolfe]

Couldn't have said it better

[Quackthulu2]

Find another dom. Do you have a fetlife account?

[sunkissedwolfe]

I do not

[Quackthulu2]

Might be worth looking into. Just be careful, there are even more creeps there than your typical dating app.

[sunkissedwolfe]

Oh wow😂. Thank you for the suggestion. I'll try it out. Talking about it makes it better.

[Quackthulu2]

For sure, just be careful like I said. Lot of creeps, and guys who just want to beat women. Bring a trusted friend if you do meet someone from there. But I can work out sometimes. It’s how I met one of my subs.

[sunkissedwolfe]

I'll be cautious. I don't think my little self is ready to be with anyone else anyway, so I'll take my time too. Thank you

[Nikki1989]

You need to move on and try to meet someone else. Put this behind you.

[sunkissedwolfe]

Easier said than done. I'm on day one of bawling my eyes out

[In_Trance]

Get under someone else

[sunkissedwolfe]

That sounds like a reasonable reaction😂. I'll get on that soon as I'm done wiping my tears

[In_Trance]

It was 6 months...

[sunkissedwolfe]

It was. It takes a lot to be someone's 24/7 sub. Our lives were too intertwined for me to be nonchalant about this.