Is being single really tough?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes but being in a relationship you are fundamentally miserable in is even worse.

I am 41 and have been single for 3 years. All of my past relationships ended badly. Very badly. I have never had a sad yet respectful break up with someone. Break ups are never fun but at in some scenarios the relationship just ran it’s course, something out of your control happened (one person had to move), etc. It’s a sad ending but there can be some mutual respect and understanding.

There is one ex girlfriend who broke up with me and I thought this would be how it was. I was in a position in my life where I really did not nor want to be a long term relationship. However there were no known major fundamental problems (cheating, abuse, etc) or so i thought.

Anyway we had to meet up for business purposes later. She proceeded to treat me like I was less than human when we meet up. Cold, indifferent and callous. She gave me one of the nastiest insults I have ever taken from a woman in my entire life after I told her I missed talking to her (my eyes watered up). Yes my comment was pretty stupid and badly timed in hindsight. But her response to it was absolutely devastating and heinous.

Anyway years later it dawned on me what really happened: she cheated on me and had to see me as less then human to self justify it to herself.

Now I thought very highly of this girl when we dated and treated me extremely well. She was deeply in love with me at one point. We had great times. Yet I accepted the break up when it happened. I thought we could both respect what we had in the past. But I was wrong. Dead wrong.

If I could go back and had a decision to date her or never date her at all that would be tough decision. Originally I would of believed in the “better to love and lost then never loved at all”. But the way she treated me and the things she said at the very end damaged me deeply for years. Now I believe it would of been best of I would of never met her to begin with.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

for me no, I enjoyed being single as well in a relationship.
They both have their advantages.
While single I could come and go as I pleased, be it jumping on my motorcycle for a week or two, going to the racetrack, buying what I wanted, I didn't have to answer to anyone.
It might be easier for guys than it is women to be single.
Since I was never a female I wouldn't know, yet I have met many single women that were out and about during my travels.
Some people enjoy being single, some would rather be in a relationship, others like me are fine with either.
On the plus side if you enjoy being single then you are less likely just to settle for someone rather than to be single for another day.

noemiii · Accepted Answer

I used to get sad looking at couples since I am 26 and have never had a boyfriend, but I just realized it was because I didn’t like being with my own company and because society pushed the narrative that I needed a relationship to be of value. Now, it doesn’t bother me. I love being with myself. Of course, I do want a boyfriend at some point. But I value my peace and sanity more.

I’ve been on the outside looking in on relationships and I can say I am grateful I never did enter a relationship because I feel like if you enter relationships without knowing who YOU are, you lose your identity. My sister is the opposite of me, always in a relationship, breaks up, moves on to the next. She truly can not accept loneliness and I feel for her.

I think of it like people who tease people who don’t have friends, even though a group of bad, distracting fake friends is the easiest thing to acquire, being friendless is still seen as taboo even for someone who is trying to focus on themselves with no distractions.

Haha456 · Accepted Answer

thats not the worst part. Worst part is knowing that you have nobody who has your back when you need it the most. Worst part is doing most things completely alone on almost a daily basis. And no, your meeting up with friends once or twice a month does not count. Not being able to get a hug from or talk to anyone when you are going through a rough patch in life is also very hard.

There is a reason why married people tend to live longer lives than singles. Married people tend to be happier

Account · Answer

I cannot relate. For me it is very easy and it makes me calm. It is tougher for my mental state when I am in a relationship.

Juneberry91 · Answer

Look at this way, if you got out of a relationship & grieving loss adapting to single hood is hard. It’s because your not use to it.

If you had been single for awhile & got back into a relationship it will be a hard time adapting to have a person in your routine can be upsetting. When you learn to enjoy singlehood nothing really stops you you can do anything you want go anywhere you want to work on your own time. But once you include a person in your life you will have to schedule them & you are needed emotionally, mentally & physically.

And I broke up with my boyfriend I had a hard time sleeping for the longest time because I always share the bed. But now it’s so hard to share my bed because I’ve had it all to myself lol

lightbulb27 · Answer

Yes when you feel the void and you want connection, family, etc.. I remember driving down the road in college and going into tears and pulling off the road because I felt so alone as I couldn't get a girl I was interested in. I moved on, she at most knew I was interested but had no interest... I was not worthy at the time and I knew it.

Tom Petty sang about it... but it was a bit of a happy song, for such a challenging phase of life, because he's singing it in retrospect.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/uMyCa35_mOg

itsalyssaagain · Answer

I used to think it wasn’t but now I think to myself a lot of the anxiety I feel is just due to loneliness. You could have friends but it’s very rare to find friends who actually understand you and make the time for you. Life without “your person” can be tough…

Having said that, I’m only speaking for healthy happy relationships. Being with someone who isn’t right for you would only make things worse.

AmeerX · Answer

I can relate to it. It's actually depression in the long run. You need to have at least someone to talk to be it your siblings, cousins or some random person online or gamer for that matter.

I can say that please be kind to people who might talk like jerks. This is not just that they are immature and perverted but mainly they have been single and don't really know how to talk. In fact a lot of dudes are reformed. And some females are also predators but extremely rare.

Use reason when in such scenarios

JHNS98 · Answer

För me it is, especially since every girl I approach seems to reject me. Though the way I approach girls is really unnatural, which probably catches them a bit off guard and makes them respond this way.

I'm also very unlucky in who I fall for, since the last four girls all were taken.

So yes, being single is tough.

Paulalove98 · Answer

It definitely gets lonely at times and sucks, I miss not only the feeling but being able to share my heart with someone and bond with them being our complete selves but then i realize its better than wasting energy or time on the wrong person. My last relationship was only 3 months ago but only lasted barley a month because i found out he was cheating on me... so there's that. I know I still have time and my own worth. You're also still young. My cousin met her husband barley at your age 26 and she's now married at 31 with a baby. I just try my hardest to be strong and patient that that person exists.

Beatrix7 · Answer

it is because love is a presious thing to have but in away it isn't either because ure free of heartbreak and your free to do what you want whenever u want to and if u need a little bit of sex without a lover buy a dildo mines is 7 inch and does it for me deffinetly wae the moaning and cumming because i go slow then very fast and slam it off my spot i have came loads with my dildo av ended up with a white rose bush so it is upsetting being alone but in a way good aswel for your own freedom nd buy urself a toy

Sasha0426 · Answer

I’ve been single my whole 30 years on this planet. It’s honestly not tough at all. I can be around couples without feeling envious. As a matter of fact, when I see them argue, it makes me even more grateful I’m single because I don’t have to deal with that and I can just walk away 🤣 I don’t have to deal with all that complicated stuff. It seems physically and mentally draining.

Truthatanycost · Answer

It depends on the person. For me it's peaceful and a feeling of being light and relaxed. For some, it will be the opposite. What I notice is that some people who aren't single keep on trying to convince me to change it. Maybe it makes them question their own status...

XHopelessRomanticX · Answer

I don’t think singleness is tough, but yes there are moments where I would love to have someone by my side. But I have the experience of living on my own.

I think it’s harder for people who have never experienced being on their own. I’ve met people who found themselves suddenly divorced or widowed, and it was a wake up call to them when they realized how very little they actually knew about being an adult.

Pegases · Answer

It can be, but it doesn't have to be. I was single for about 3 years, and that was a peaceful time for me because I needed that time to reflect, and grow. Had I not taken that time to myself, I wouldn't be capable of sustaining and enjoying the relationship I'm in today. The key to being single and happy, is to use it to become a better version of yourself.

LazerBean · Answer

Its mostly just tough for people who are dissatisfied with themselves and know they can't get what they want.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Personally I hate it, I always have but at the same time I'm very specific these days with whom I choose to be with because I've been burned in the past and that's made me careful but also made it more clear what kind of people I like.

So in the meantime I bury myself in work and responsibility to distract myself

Heolurt · Answer

It is tough but when you've been single, unwanted and un"loved" your entire life you get used to it. Sure being so ugly and alone your entire life does make it easier to live a single life, doesn't mean it's at all easy. I can see how being single could be harder for someone who knows what hugs and "love" feel like because it must be like a drug you can't just go too long without but someone like me has no problem going without hugs or "love" because no one has ever shown me what either should feel like, so I don't have any connection to the to know what I should be craving all the time and I am fine with that.

Monalisa77 · Answer

Yes, felt this on Friday. Felt real heartbreak again, esp when i felt so close to finally hsving one and I've to live with the regret of mucking it up

Anonymous · Answer

People with lots of friends and lots of boyfriends/girlfriends in their history will talk about being single the way rich people talk about being poor, like it's no big deal and that if you are complaining or feeling bad, well you're just insecure or not comfortable with yourself. Look at the comments, some are like that, instead of empathy, people give scorn because they can't imagine what it's like to be alone, sexless and unwanted. It's really sad that people feel the need to bully those that are already miserable. Yes, loneliness is unbearable.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

The only good thing about being single is you're not tied down or beholden to anyone.
Other than that, the lack of companionship and not being able to share your life with someone you love can make most people pretty darn miserable.
(Most people. Not everyone)

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Being alone is a time for a single person to work on personal growth, sure love from another person is great it shouldn't be your number one goal. Being on your own, working on and meeting personal goals etc., gives you a sense of pride, which carries over into your relationship.

Men like women who can be strong on her own, it gives them a sense of security knowing she isn't going to break down every time he has to go away for a few days bc of work etc.

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

Been single going on 37 years now and single before that for 19 years. Seeing people holding hands together doing things together that's not what gets to me. What gets to me is times like Christmas comes around and no children opening gifts same with Easter and all the holidays. Not having children is what hurt me. I don't even care about relationships I put that notion to rest years ago.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i am lookinh for true love and thqnkful for my ex for at least givinh me a guide on how it is to be loved. hust the key marks.. beinh single is not really tough because i'd rather be single than havinh headache and heartache. i'm a super loyal person so i'm really want someone who is fine with just me

CubsterShura · Answer

It can be tough if you don't have a support system of friends and/or family. I quite enjoy being single when I feel like I have a support system but I'm miserable when I don't have it.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

I have never dated before and I am doing good so you might feel lonely but you just have to hang out with friends and family or find anything you would rather do like find a hobby or two. You might not know because their might be a potential partner out there and he or she end up liking the same hobbies and have this problem if being single too

red324 · Answer

No but it is lonely, especially if you have no friends either. People continue to disappoint me even though I try. Like for example I texted a guy i was friends with in high way back and invited him on my boat. Well 2 weeks goes by and I get a reply back asking all about the boat... doesn't mention anything about actually going on it. I mean wtf?

AdithyaR · Answer

It is for a while but it's possible for the feeling to numb over and until you don't care whether you're single or in a relationship and you stop trying cause you aren't bothered. Then it's no longer tough and it's more peaceful.

David6668 · Answer

It's not tough when you have bigger goals in life or if you are a player.

TrillXHippy · Answer

I don’t need or want a girlfriend because I see how other people are happy. 2 of my brothers and I went to the same high school. Since then I’ve met/seen/heard about their girlfriends and one of them has 2 kids. I’ve met my older brother for the first time years ago and he has a wife. I don’t need or want a wife because my brother does

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have never been single long enough to really know.

gag36627 · Answer

Do you know how to delete replies? If so I can send the title of my question here on this question of yours

serious · Answer

No, it is not tough. It depends on how an individual sees that.

Anonymous · Answer

I would think if someone hasn't been in a serious or long-term relationship by a certain age it would be forever permanently damaging

Ben487 · Answer

Of course…. a happy relationship is better than no relationship lol. Being single sucks and only gets harder with time.

Katyalov · Answer

Yes especially when you’re a woman in a mid life crises. We got biological time clocks, men don’t. Women are the most disadvantaged in this. I don’t like being single but I would rather be single than to settle with any guy.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

It is at first, it gets easier over time. Interesting, for me all but one of my friends that got married and I stayed in contact with are now divorced. So it’s basically our 20’s again, except with my money.

Paul09 · Answer

If you overthink it, it can suck. But overall you learn to be happy solo. Yes, I also would love human contact. But hard for some of us to find someone. But no point to be miserable about it.

Guanfei · Answer

When it's not a choice, yes. It's easy to say being single is nice when you know you can change it anytime you want. But I can't change it, for me it's a curse, and not an enjoyable one.

sheikalana · Answer

Only if you’re the type of person who can’t be by yourself.

Sour-rose · Answer

Shiiiii, not for me. Saved me so much drama and booshi... welll...12% of booshi of relationships.

happyfoetus · Answer

I enjoy being single as it makes me a lot happier.

cryscrys1 · Answer

It’s not tough at all  It’s you choice being single  If you say no.. than you are picky that’s all

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. If it's a couples thing I can always get a date. Otherwise, my non-work time is mine to do what I want, when I want, without the constraints of feeling compelled to spend hours and hours doing things I really have no interest in.

Shy_Steve · Answer

It's only tough when your fairly Shy, If your an Extrovert you would probably like being Single.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s tough at times when you want to travel with someone and most travel deals are set up for couples and also when going out to eat I feel awkward at times by myself. Couples aren’t always happy either.

Adam1978 · Answer

Only if you are unhealthy. Otherwise it's easier than being in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

In my single life I don't feel unwanted nor sad, I feel just as happy as would being in a relationship.

bolverk · Answer

Nope, I'm single now and have been for the majority of my adult life, I've never found someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with.

altaboy · Answer

Being single is great. No one tells you what to do, nobody bugs you when you are reading, no one leaves messes for you to find and life is quiet and orderly. I miss it.

zagor · Answer

No, it is pretty easy. I can go where I want and do what (and who) I want. Though I can see how being a single woman in Pakistan might be tough.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

As tough as not being single. Having a partner makes nobody happy. It may seem like so, but I’ve went into depression, anger, loneliness, lunacy, etc even with partners.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

I grew up in a thoroughly dysfunctional family and love the peace, quiet and tranquility of being alone.

slatyb · Answer

It's better than being in a bad relationship.

talka20 · Answer

Depends on so many things... id like to have a discussion on this if u dont mind

Arik_jade · Answer

Yeah, i thing it is quite difficult to live as single. We all need a partner or someone trustworthy to share our life alongside.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

As social beings YES  isolation is the worst possible form of torture  we are not made to go through life alone

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Lately, I haven't been feeling that bad. It doesn't hurt as much or matter as much as it did to me four years ago.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say as you get older. It’s natural to want companionship. At the same time most people want to start having kids. Watching all your family/friends announcing their engagement and pregnancies really gets to you

pass_the_celery98 · Answer

to the asker do you genuinely want to be in a relationship

Gibbons44 · Answer

Very few girls seem to be able to stay single longer than a month.

ThomasDavid1989 · Answer

If you have parents/family always riding down your neck about why you're not with someone yet Thankfully, mine don't

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

For immense majority people it is. We are designed by God to have a woman or man in our life and built a family.

Is being single really tough?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is being single really tough?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.