Why Would You Date A Slightly Overweight Person And Then Force Them Into Gym?

[fonduegirl]

everyone has different body preferences. some lie it skinny. thin people in general are healthier and more attractive.

but why force people to change? to lose or gain weight because you no longer like their body? i have come across quite a few questions on GaG where the boyfriend says "she'd be much more attractive if she's in shape" and you know what? probably. but unless the person themselves want to change, you can't make it happen.

so please stop pity dating people whose bodies you aren't physically attracted to. they deserve better.

[petitedollbabee]

I would never FORCE someone to go to the gym. If they became overweight during the relationship and had no intention of working out or trying to lose the weight, and I was became seriously unhappy or unattracted to them, I would just break up. And if they were overweight and unattractive before the relationship started, I wouldn’t start dating them. Why would I want to date someone I’m not attracted to? My partner is slightly overweight but he has a dad bod and a cute belly so I would never force him to go to the gym 🥰 but I’m fully supportive if he ever decided to go to a gym for his own benefit and happiness.

[SamA_nold]

You can date someone, like them, and wish that they would be healthier. You can even encourage them if they are open to it.


However, a lot of people, men and women, go into relationships with this “I’m going to fix you” attitude, and that is toxic and harmful. People aren’t perfect matches, people have flaws, and if you only want to date someone who is ideal to your standards, you’ve lost who that person was in character. You never liked that person, you just wanted them meet your standards and then use them as a trophy to parade around.

[razelove]

Maybe they have an obsession with fixing things up, cars, home improvement, you name it, they ran out of ideas around the house, and started hitting on women around the local hardware store as fixer uppers.

You got me there, I had tried dating someone I wasn't attracted to before because we got along very well, and she made me feel good. It didn't work out, granted I never told her to try to lose weight or anything. Even if you can force temporary changes on people, no one changes over a long period of time unless they want to change themselves.

[exitseven]

No, people are not projects that we can fix.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[molonski2]

Encouraging an individual to be the correct weight is always a good idea , world Obesity is a massive problem " slightly overweight " can quickly move out of control especially if the individual is young , its a good idea to encourage someone to attend the gym , nice move.

[fonduegirl]

But you can't make decisions for other people. You realise that yes?

[molonski2]

Its important all people are always looking to improve , and its good to encourage that , to balk for the sake of some principle rather than health , is not good for anyone.

[fonduegirl]

But it's toxic to train people to be a certain way.

[SnowedIn]

No good answer to your question, unfortunately.

But, why would you date them in the first place if they needed to be "fixed"?

[Smartgirl_hey]

I don't force someone to lose weight. I date a guy by respecting his physical characteristics and I'm not gonna say him to change them for my opinion

[AdithyaR]

I'd never do that, I date a person for what they are, not some potential future version of them.
Now if they choose to start going to the gym, they'd have my full support but I'd never force them myself.

[TacosRAwesome]

As a somewhat overweight person, I would appreciate if my partner encouraged me to eat healthy and go to the gym. The last thing I want is someone who prefers me when I'm fat.

[fonduegirl]

You need a gym trainer more than a boyfriend.

[TacosRAwesome]

I mean encourage not force as in be supportive if I want to do so rather than bitch about it.

[TallAnon]

Why would you force anything on anyone? Just go next.

[shortster]

Hmm, I am overweight and have exercise induced asthma. So I need extra motivation to go to the gym. A girlfriend who wants to take me with her would be helpful and appreciated.

[thatssuppy190]

I just wouldn't date them in the first place, if they dont want to be in shape and be healthy i’ll let them. Not my problem

[fonduegirl]

Exactly

[Kaneki05]

Controlling and dumb a common combo.

[QuietVerbena]

I agree with you

[chicken_nugget24]

No who the f would do that?