Guys, will you be bothered if you found out your girlfriend went to lunch with another guy?

[Gloree]

Just wondering as I'm considering hanging out tomorrow. I mean, my guy is out of town, so I really don't see how making friends is a problem. Let me know.

Updates

+1 y

The only reason why I don't want to mention it is because he doesn't know the guy I want to hang out with. he's someone from my past. (not an ex.) my guy is my first.

Updates

+1 y

Everyone is almost saying thesame thing. I cancelled already.

[Finchie40]

You are best to tell your boyfriend the truth , By you keeping it a secret just shows you only care about yourself , just because you assume your boyfriend is not going to approve , which he probably won’t , since most guys are territorial over a girl he gives his heart to , and he doesn’t know this guy you want to catch up with it’s best to still make your partner your priority , and if you have to cancel this lunch meet up with this other guy then so be it , You have to remember you aren’t single anymore , think how you would feel if your boyfriend was meeting up with some girl from his past? How would that honestly make you feel? especially since you don’t know her? Sometimes it’s best to eliminate those things from your life to show respect to your relationship, that’s how love grows with 2 people , when you learn how to remove selfishness for your partner that shows respect in your relationship , without respect in your relationship you will have nothing , Just tell this other guy the truth that your boyfriend isn’t going to be to happy about us meeting up so I am sorry I can’t meet up with you but it was nice hearing from you , If the guy gets upset and tries to convince you to still
Come see him , the. he clearly doesn’t just want to be friends , he wants
More than that , don’t fall for
That shit

[ThinkFitness23]

Hanging out with a guy and withholding it from your partner isn’t wise.


It will cause a void in your relationship and also send the wrong message to your “friend”.


Your best off speaking with your partner to see how he feels about it, I believe you know his response which is why you are thinking of keeping it from him.


Basically seems like you know your partner wouldn’t approve but instead of taking his feelings into account you would rather just “do you” and go anyway.


If a girl wanted to hangout with me and I knew she was hiding this from her partner and would get the impression she’s in to me to some degree as she willing to put her partner’s feelings on the back burner just to spend time with me.

[Pinay_ako]

If it’s not a big problem so it shouldn’t be a huge deal to tell him hey boyfriend, I’m going to have lunch with this old male friend from college…

The underlying fact that you had to ask if he’s going to be bothered IF he finds out… why don’t you just tell him about it instead of finding out. Reverse roles, how’d you take it if YOU find out he went out for lunch with another girl?

[AviatorTom]

No... my SO has Male friends and I have Female friends

[coachTanthony]

As long as I know and you ain't sneaking around.

[NamerOfStars]

No- but then, I'm more trusting than most. And I think pretty much every guy out there would be more inclined towards suspicion if they thought you were keeping it secret, regardless of whether you thought it should be hidden or just didn't think it worth mentioning. If you're worried about how your man will react, slipping in something like "Hey, I'm meeting [X] for lunch on Saturday; I'll tell him you said hi" will both alleviate suspicion and let him know, in case he DOES have an issue with it.

[Andres77]

It depends on why and how I found out.

certainly, I don’t own her, but in a relationship communication is key, and there should be a level of communication and trust that has been established. I’ve had relationships where she felt comfortable enough to tell me upfront that her friend was visiting and she like to go out to lunch with him and she was very upfront about it.. no harm done she didn’t have to hide it from her friends she didn’t think she had either for me. It’s not the embarrassment of her being seem to be the same restaurant, and the waitress is not knowing what to say.. and there’s other situation’s where an ex showed up and he had an agenda, and she had an agenda, and I had to find out through other channels.

[midnightmoon05]

Good idea…wait till he comes back from
town. Say…honey…my childhood friend and I reconnected. I am so excited and want you to meet him. All of you can become friends.
bad idea - do as you say and see how things play out. (I know how…but sometimes you need that experience)

Honesty, trust, respect all go hand and hand.
your call

[Jessica405]

It all depends on your reason. If there is any chance that there will be sexual connotations, even if just mild flirting, then it is cheating. If it can be held down to a pure friendship and nothing more, then fine.

Just be aware that it is very easy to cross that fine line in the heat of the moment. That hug at the end of the lunch can be right on the line!

[Jessica405]

Also you should tell your guy yourself. It can be disaster if he finds out from someone else!

[BungusHighFivePizza]

I don't mind so much since I also go to lunches and dinners with women but I prefer she tells me upfront. I tell her upfront like, "Hey, I'm going to dinner with this woman tonight."

[Gloree]

thanks.

[RagnarRedbeard]

Maybe it really is just a friend thing - I don’t know - but hanging out one in one with somebody of the opposite sex who I don’t know is suspicious, and I’m not interested in trying to find out. Especially if she hid it from me, that makes it seem more suspicious.

This would be a deal-breaker for me. If I found out about this I’d be gone. Call me insecure all you like.

[OfMiceandMen]

If you are only going to lunch as friends and there is no hidden agenda, then you are fine.

However, if someday you find out he has a similar friendship with a girl, then you can't be angry with him, if he doesn't tell you about it.

If it is okay for you to do it, it is okay for him.

[matchrestore]

There'd have to be other factors going on for it to even remotely bother me. My wife hangs out with male friends quite often, and I hang out with female friends as well. We're both bisexual though so... would we just not be able to spend time with any friends for fear of it being "cheating?"

[Reorx]

No. I'd trust her until she gave me a reason not to. I'm very observant & have 5 planets in Virgo so go ahead & try to hide those things. I also have a Pisces full moon so I'm in tune with emotion as well. Some people I know think I can read minds.

[BagoH]

If my girl hung out with a guy who I don't even know and without letting me know about it she wouldn't be my girl lol. Tell him about it and if you can't come to agree tot terms then don't go out with that dude. There are other things you can do that don't require other men.

[Makeushiver]

Lunch the second less sexy meal after "coffee" is usually pretty safe. In the dys of 3 martini lunches were one of two things. In a free standing restaurant lasting 45 minutes to 20 minutes - no Beefeater Gin 98 proof martinis in a building with a dining room and hundreds of empty beds above the dining room these affairs often led to a room for the rest of the day and everyone coming in hungover the next day. Lunch at Katz's is fine at the Pierre, no

[Nikki1989]

I have lunches with other guys all the time as part of my job role, and my husband has no problem with it at all. Not all men are insecure.

[Mansearching]

Depends. If its fellow employee that had lunch at same time, no. If its a business lunch, no.

If he was interested in her and trying something, maybe. But I do trust her. She can defend herself.

[Mansearching]

In reguards to your update. Then yes he should be upset. Or at least questioning your intentions and his. Especially if your partner is going to be out of town.

[777GgG]

I don't understand why you can't tell your man about it...

"Hey Chris. My old friend Eric from college wants to grab lunch with me Wednesday."

If you're loyal to your man and he trusts you there shouldn't a problem.

[MemeSupreme]

you really need to tell him bc it really only becomes/looks worrisome or shady when you don't tell him about it.

[exitseven]

It depends on who the guy is. If it is an ex boyfriend or some guy she had sex with I would be pissed.

[fonduegirl]

Anyone would be. There's no such thing "I fucked him once but now we're besties" or "she dumped me but we're still close".

[Anonymous]

i hope you at least told him... i always tell my partner where i'm going and with who. not because he needs to know, but because i like sharing my day with him

[EricSummer]

No, I trust her and she will sometimes have lunches to build her business as a private language teacher.

Having said that, if she was to fiddle around in his hair like the woman in the photo then I would be concerned.

[richardcory]

Not at all. I want my partner to have lots of other opportunities and STILL pick me.

[Dinklex3]

Eating lunch with friends of the opposite sex is fine.

You however appear to be shady and dishonest.

[RavVid]

Yeah it would be a problem. If he hangs with a cute more-beautiful-than-you girl who is interested in him whilst he is away would that be a problem to you?

[worldscolide]

The fact that you want to hide it from your boyfriend is exactly why its wrong. If you can't be honest with him you should not be with him. If i were him id break it off the moment i found out about it, especially if you lied about it.

[Anonymous]

Not if she told me. Because if she didn't tell me that SUGGESTS she's trying to hide it. If there's nothing to hide there's no reason to keep it a secret.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

If I was him, I would by the sheer fact you're keeping it from me. That's a big problem. How would you feel if that happened on his end with a woman you never heard of? Omitting something is the same as lying.

[FifiJones]

Lunch... there is working in sales buying customers lunch, there is prostitution 'lunch' with some time in the room, there is lunch 'I am looking for a new/side-gig husband'

[Pacman13]

Nah she can have guy friends but I’m not really the jealous type.

[fonduegirl]

Of course. As long as you're okay with them meeting in near future, since you got nothing to hide and he should know your friends.

[Truthatanycost]

It will depend on the guy. But if you want to do what you want without any limitations then stay single...

[OddBeMe]

Not if it’s a healthy relationship and I know her personality.

[ERB62]

No girlfriend, so have at it (even if I had one if that is what she wanted to do so be it. She does it then it is open to me, which wouild be a relief, not ready for a girlfriend either

[Dargil]

The context would be important. In some settings yes. In others, no.

[Jennz6]

Why would he, if we’re talking and having lunch it shouldn’t bother him.

[AimeeKyle]

With a guy friend or coworker, customer, etc…no. Someone to pass the time / having interest in them for more than friends, yes.

[Alpha714]

If its solo meeting then obviously... If its professional gathering then i think... Not that much

[AngryCarl2]

I'd be livid with rage, more so if i didn't get a heads-up beforehand.

[Softlife808]

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend went to lunch with another woman?

[Rohaan2020]

I wouldn't be if she told me herself... but incase she hide it from me and i get to know from somewhere else... then it would bother me

[ThomasDavid1989]

Yes, unless it's for work, and even then... why does she need to be affiliating with another man

[Anonymous]

Depends. If it were that guy I’d punch him in the face. He looks like he’s long overdue.

[HopelessGuy183]

With no context, yes but if she told me it were just a friend, I would trust her about that.

[Reddy4it]

It’s just lunch hey…?

[In_Trance]

How would you feel if your boyfriend waited until you were out of town and then was with another woman?

[Gloree]

oh, please you sound so accusing. already.

[In_Trance]

Great response

I'm sure your boyfriend will agree with me

[WanderingLoveWizard]

No, and I hope she fucks him too

[SnowedIn]

Nope. Hope she enjoys.

[xJayleenx]

I feel like most guys would.

[msc545]

Probably it's ok

[Xtendable]

No, its just lunch

[KrakenAttackin]

Um, yeah... not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anyone should be

[Jamie05rhs]

You're fuckin' up, Gloree!

[TallAnon]

Bothered, no. Alerted, yes.

[Anonymous]

Instant break up.

[Sabretooth]

Then, you've already fucked up.

[Sabretooth]

Alright. How would you have felt?

[slatyb]

No, I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Would leave her in that instant.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

No, I wouldn’t.