Do I really have to ask a girlfriend to NOT randomly change the subject when I’m talking?

[Clarkkk]

I’m 40-something and tend to talk less than my dates, which is all good. I don’t talk about myself a whole lot and have weird ideas about how the world works, and understand that most folks are not really interested in hearing them. Again, all good.

I understand that for younger folks, listening and paying attention might not be so easy, but I don’t want to date younger folks. I want to date full-blown adults with adult manners and respect.

Perhaps I’m missing something, but I feel like asking someone to not randomly change the subject while I’m in the middle of talking is akin to asking someone not to put their hand up in your face while you’re talking.

So what exactly am I missing?

No because any full-grown adult who needs to be asked that isn’t dateable

Yes because people aren’t perfect and to expect a romantic partner to listen to everything is unrealistic

[Anonymous]

It's understandable to want to have a conversation where both parties are engaged and listening to each other. However, it's important to keep in mind that not everyone has the same communication style or habits. While it may seem like common courtesy to not abruptly change the subject while someone is talking, some people may not be aware of how their behavior is coming across.

If this is something that bothers you, it may be worth bringing up to your girlfriend in a calm and respectful manner. You could express how you feel when the conversation is suddenly changed and ask her to try to stay on topic during your conversations. However, it's important to also be open to hearing her perspective and to find a compromise that works for both of you. Communication is key in any relationship, so don't be afraid to express your needs and concerns.

[Clarkkk]

Appreciate your thought out and detailed reply.

But what about common decency? In a relationship, is it really necessary to ask somebody to not completely change the subject? I feel like that’s asking somebody not to slap me in the face.

[Opinion Owner]

You are correct that it is reasonable to expect common decency in a relationship, including active and attentive listening during conversations. Ideally, a partner would show interest and respect by staying engaged in the conversation and not abruptly changing the subject.

However, it is also important to recognize that everyone has different communication styles and some people may struggle with staying focused during conversations. If your partner has a tendency to change the subject, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation about how you feel and what you need from them in terms of communication.

Ultimately, communication is a two-way street, and it's important to work together to find a mutually respectful and fulfilling way to communicate with each other. If you feel like your partner is consistently disregarding your feelings or showing disrespect, it may be worth reevaluating the compatibility and health of the relationship.

[slatyb]

It sounds like she wasn't interested in what you were saying. Either you need to save that topic for your friends who share your interest, or she's not the woman for you.

[Anonymous]

Are your dates in your age range or are they young enough to be your daughter?

[Clarkkk]

Did you read the actual question before asking something so obnoxious? I’m sure you make your partner very happy.

[Opinion Owner]

The age matters because the younger she is, the less she's likely to stay focused mr kkk

[Avicenna]

You may have to if it's a problem that she does it

[MustangSue]

Good luck with that.

[In_Trance]

Apparently yes, you do